Soupmonster Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 So last night I was going to go clubbing with my girlfriend. She said she's tired so we didn't. Basically I messaged her on snapchat later asking what she's doing. She told me she's watching tv. In the past she's lied to me. So I asked her to snapchat me to prove to me she's home. She gets upset saying she told me not to ask for snapchats anymore( we've gotten into arguments overs this in the past) I call her, she ignores it. I call her again later at 11pm she tells me she's going home. I hear her talking to her mom. So I believe that. But the thing is that she lied to me saying she's home but she's not. She was in the car with her mom. Then she tells me she wants to break up. I message her saying I did nothing wrong. She replies this morning telling me she'll continue dating me if I listen to everything she says. I ask her what she did last night. She told me she already told me. I insist she hasn't, then she says I lost my chance and we're breaking up. I tell her I guess she probably cheated then. She tells me she was with her mom then blocked me from everything. A little background information. She's 17, we'be been together for two years. I think she's either hiding something from me or she's fed up with me being possessive as she says. She acts entirely on emotions, and lacks empathy. I need advice on dealing with this and making her understand, which is hard. We'be broken up many times but get back together within days. Last time we broke up though it took two weeks. She broke our trust in the past. I have trouble believeing her and she doesn't want to try to reassure me. Link to post Share on other sites
puppy1031 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 I can't say whether she was hiding something from you or not, but it seems disrespectful to her for you to be so mistrusting and possessive, especially when you know it bothers her when you ask for proof like that. And in your post you said that she told you she was watching tv, you didn't say she told you she was home watching tv. Maybe she was watching tv with her mom. If she broke up with you over something that is a repeat offense, it's not really "the heat of the moment" even though she was upset when she did it. You can't make her understand. You only control yourself. Just give her space. Maybe apologize. But if you two keep breaking up, it's probably for a reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soupmonster Posted November 12, 2016 Author Share Posted November 12, 2016 She used to be sweet, super insecure and want me around 24/7. Yesterday I had a gut feeling she was lying to me. She didn't answer my question and broke up with me. Today she said she'll give me another chance. This confused me, we never even broke up. She seems to be directing all blame towards me. I called her out on it. She called me later today and told me she did in fact lie. She was with another guy yesterday. She told me to mind my own business. This is the same girl that made me block 3 female friends last week. She also danced with another guy at a club two weeks ago and that's how the string of arguments happened. She clearly disrespects our relationship. She told me to meet her up at 12 to hang out tomorrow. Told me not to ask anymore questions. If I ask anymore questions she'll break up with me. I didn't respond to her text. 20minuyes later she messages me saying it's 90% arguments with me, saying I give off bad vibes. She also said she can hang out with guys all she wants (deflecting the blame and trying to put it on me). The thing is she told me she's home watching tv yesterday night. I was on the train with her earlier that day and she had her head on my shoulder texting. I saw she was checking movie times and messaging her ex. I asked her calmly if she wanted to watch a movie and she replies there's nothing good out. I knew she was hiding something from me at this point and she was likely seeing her ex. Basically my girlfriend blocked all my female friends from my life. She's hanging out with other guys behind my back including her ex. Whenever I ask her about it nicely she instantly breaks up with me and blames me. She always lies about it. When I'm with her, she's nice and pays for me sometimes. Just a few days ago she bought me matching phone cases with her. I'd understand if she didn't love me but it seems she does. She gets upset if I don't see her for a few days. Spends money on me. Gets super jealous of other girls. Yet she hangs out with other guys behind my back and lies to me. She also always disrespects me. What should I do if I don't want to break up. I feel like she feels too secure in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 What should you do if you don't want to break up? Ask yourself why you'd want to have a relationship with a demanding and hypocritical woman who does not respect your relationship. Seriously mate, the woman is handing you an exit on a plate and you'd be crazy to not take it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 She used to be sweet, super insecure and want me around 24/7. Yesterday I had a gut feeling she was lying to me. She didn't answer my question and broke up with me. Today she said she'll give me another chance. This confused me, we never even broke up. She seems to be directing all blame towards me. I called her out on it. She called me later today and told me she did in fact lie. She was with another guy yesterday. She told me to mind my own business. This is the same girl that made me block 3 female friends last week. She also danced with another guy at a club two weeks ago and that's how the string of arguments happened. She clearly disrespects our relationship. She told me to meet her up at 12 to hang out tomorrow. Told me not to ask anymore questions. If I ask anymore questions she'll break up with me. I didn't respond to her text. 20minuyes later she messages me saying it's 90% arguments with me, saying I give off bad vibes. She also said she can hang out with guys all she wants (deflecting the blame and trying to put it on me). The thing is she told me she's home watching tv yesterday night. I was on the train with her earlier that day and she had her head on my shoulder texting. I saw she was checking movie times and messaging her ex. I asked her calmly if she wanted to watch a movie and she replies there's nothing good out. I knew she was hiding something from me at this point and she was likely seeing her ex. Basically my girlfriend blocked all my female friends from my life. She's hanging out with other guys behind my back including her ex. Whenever I ask her about it nicely she instantly breaks up with me and blames me. She always lies about it. When I'm with her, she's nice and pays for me sometimes. Just a few days ago she bought me matching phone cases with her. I'd understand if she didn't love me but it seems she does. She gets upset if I don't see her for a few days. Spends money on me. Gets super jealous of other girls. Yet she hangs out with other guys behind my back and lies to me. She also always disrespects me. What should I do if I don't want to break up. I feel like she feels too secure in the relationship. Er...what? Re-read what you wrote. This girl doesn't seem like she loves you. She wipes her feet on you and controls you. Is that love? No, no it is not. Sorry, but you need to find your backbone and get away from her. She's a liar and a manipulator, and you are being played for a fool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 if you dont respect your self. She will not respect you. I would have dumped her and start working on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cucumber95 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 "She used to be sweet, super insecure and want me around 24/7." Where I know that from? they always are like that when they want to trap you, then they disrespect you when they got you in that trap :/ sad but true. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 be glad she is gone Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 I wouldn't call it disrespect, I'd call it abuse. You need to wake up to this fast, you're in an abusive relationship and on the receiving end. You know what you have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 If you don't trust her, there is no point dating her. You are both acting on emotions it seems if you are suffering from jealousy and she is resorting to lying. You can't keep tabs on someone all the time; if you don't trust them, find someone you do trust. If you are overly jealous and possessive (and you may not be the best judge of that yourself), then seek help to understand why. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 This is you... She loves me... She loves me not... She lies to me... She tells me not to ask questions... She pays for me... She goes out with her ex... She loves me... She respects me not... Bottom line...She ain't worth the Victoria Secret underwear she's wearing for her ex or the browser cache you used to write about her. But here's my advice... You respect yourself... You kick her to the curb... You love yourself... You kick her to the curb... You man tf up... You kick her to the curb... You date other women... You delete her from your life permanently... Glad I could help Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted November 12, 2016 Share Posted November 12, 2016 Why would you lower yourself to such a low status for someone who is a proven lair and cheat? Staying in this says "I'm not worthy of you and will take whatever breadcrumbs you drop my way". You'll end up friendless and alone after she dumps you for someone else. A blind man could see this coming. Move on now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goingcrazy123 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 Run buddy run. Dont look back. Find someone who respects you. You deserve it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Poe77 Posted November 13, 2016 Share Posted November 13, 2016 What should you do if you don't want to break up? Ask yourself why you'd want to have a relationship with a demanding and hypocritical woman who does not respect your relationship. Seriously mate, the woman is handing you an exit on a plate and you'd be crazy to not take it. This! 300% this...its not worth it just let it go... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soupmonster Posted December 17, 2016 Author Share Posted December 17, 2016 At first I thought this was an interest issue. Except she texts me good morning. Calls me not long after that. We see eachother from morning to night. She's with me 100% of her free time Monday to Friday. It's the weekend that bothers me. She promised me she won't drink. She drank and then made an excuse that it's her friends birthday. Told me it won't happen again. That was 3 weeks ago. She went snowboarding with another guy and pre drank for it with him. I got upset and we argued. She met me up two days after. She told me after snowboarding she went to a warehouse party and got super drunk. She didn't leave until 6. She actually called me at 12 and 4 that day of the party but was so drunk she forget she even called me. Of course I'm upset. This seems completely disrespectful to or relationship. We spent the next 3 days as usual until two days ago when we're about to eat. I guess she felt guilty and told me before she went to the warehouse party she was clubbing. I was really upset. It took her 3 days to tell me the truth. She made a big deal about clubbing and made me promise not to go. Told me drinking is bad and made me promise to stop drinking. She gets upset I talk to other girls and she makes a huge deal about it. Here she is being a hypocrite and snowboarding with another guy. He pays for her dinner and drinks so it feels like a date. Brings her alone and goes clubbing. Then goes to a warehouse party. This is crossing boundaries on so many levels. Even worse is when I confronted her bout it, she told me girlfriends are allowed to party. She tried to manipulate me and turn it around on me, saying I have a bad attitude and bad attitude. Shes extremely immature and disrespectful. She just turned 19. I'm 22. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soupmonster Posted December 17, 2016 Author Share Posted December 17, 2016 She also blocked me off everything in an attempt to "make me realize my mistakes." She's done this before. After a few days she calls me. We talk and she tells it's to "teach me a lesson," and to "make me realize I'm wrong." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 Shes extremely immature and disrespectful. She just turned 19. I'm 22. Break up time. You cannot change her and you can't make her mature. She wants to enjoy her youth and to not bother with a boyfriend. Go find yourself a woman that is around your age if you want a mature girlfriend. There is a world of difference between 19 and 22. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 She also blocked me off everything in an attempt to "make me realize my mistakes." She's done this before. After a few days she calls me. We talk and she tells it's to "teach me a lesson," and to "make me realize I'm wrong." OH PLEASE. Block her. You're too old for this kind of bull. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 She also blocked me off everything in an attempt to "make me realize my mistakes." She's done this before. After a few days she calls me. We talk and she tells it's to "teach me a lesson," and to "make me realize I'm wrong." Good night sweet prince... its over. Look... this plays out bad like 99% of the time. Trust me and the other people who I promise will agree. Check out. No pleading No begging No please take me back. Be the man and walk away from this.. honorably. Any crying you have to do.. do it here. You will have more respect crying to a bunch of strangers than her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 It's her life, so let her live it the way she wants to. Do the same with your own. Take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
gorf Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 She also blocked me off everything in an attempt to "make me realize my mistakes." She's done this before. After a few days she calls me. We talk and she tells it's to "teach me a lesson," and to "make me realize I'm wrong." whats really going on is she is going on a date with another guy. Does he even know about you? Maybe not much of one, but look at the scenario. Its a date. Then she feels guilty, not for what she has done, but for being caught/ So she turns it around on you. You are the one with a problem. What a load of crap. Stand up for yourself, you are right this is crossing boundaries. Let her know it too. If she isnt going to be acountable for HER actions, and she is going to gaslight you with her own bad behavior, she is not dating material. The end 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Soupmonster Posted December 17, 2016 Author Share Posted December 17, 2016 What should I do in 2-3 days time when she's going to call me to meet up? Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 What should I do in 2-3 days time when she's going to call me to meet up? That's what answering machines are for. You need to open up communications with those women this she devil made you drop - it still may not be too late to rebuild your life. Just make sure the answering machine is the thing that answers her calls. That's why every one of 'em has a 'delete' button on it somewhere...don't be afraid to use it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 What should I do in 2-3 days time when she's going to call me to meet up? Prepare your self for the rush of emotions you will experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Joga_31 Posted December 17, 2016 Share Posted December 17, 2016 At first I thought this was an interest issue. Except she texts me good morning. Calls me not long after that. We see eachother from morning to night. She's with me 100% of her free time Monday to Friday. It's the weekend that bothers me. She promised me she won't drink. She drank and then made an excuse that it's her friends birthday. Told me it won't happen again. That was 3 weeks ago. She went snowboarding with another guy and pre drank for it with him. I got upset and we argued. She met me up two days after. She told me after snowboarding she went to a warehouse party and got super drunk. She didn't leave until 6. She actually called me at 12 and 4 that day of the party but was so drunk she forget she even called me. Of course I'm upset. This seems completely disrespectful to or relationship. We spent the next 3 days as usual until two days ago when we're about to eat. I guess she felt guilty and told me before she went to the warehouse party she was clubbing. I was really upset. It took her 3 days to tell me the truth. She made a big deal about clubbing and made me promise not to go. Told me drinking is bad and made me promise to stop drinking. She gets upset I talk to other girls and she makes a huge deal about it. Here she is being a hypocrite and snowboarding with another guy. He pays for her dinner and drinks so it feels like a date. Brings her alone and goes clubbing. Then goes to a warehouse party. This is crossing boundaries on so many levels. Even worse is when I confronted her bout it, she told me girlfriends are allowed to party. She tried to manipulate me and turn it around on me, saying I have a bad attitude and bad attitude. Shes extremely immature and disrespectful. She just turned 19. I'm 22. dump her or do the same she does to you. or go get intimate with one of the club chicks you will be meeting when you are clubbing yourself. A relationship is a two way thing, if she wants to go out with a guy snowboarding and drink and club with him or another guy then you do the same thing with another girl. and if it's way too much drama just end it. she doesn't respect you bro. Link to post Share on other sites
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