Pascal333 Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Hey there, I'm in a very tricky situation and I just don't know what to do... I've been in a classic situation, it's just that the context adds a serious layer of difficulty with any possibility of getting back togheter... Me and my ex wife have bought a house, which turned out to be a nightmare. It broke us apart. She had a rebound, with whom she cheated on me initially, is done with it, and realised that she tried in every way to change him to make him more "like me"... I realised all the reasons for the breakup, and pretty much fixed them all. She's going through a really rough period in her life (which unfortunately started exactly when we took possession of the house/when I began renovating). I've been there for her on many occasions, there's been lots of ambiguity and we even almost got back together. She says there's a storm inside her head and she doesn't want to be in a couple right now, and that she would not want to hurt me (leave me again) because she's so unstable. We told ourselves that someday, if it's meant to be, we would get back together. We consider ourselves as true soulmates...its a very sad story... The obstacle here is that...when I discovered that she was cheating, I contacted her best friend at the time (which was also a friend to me), with whom she already had serious tensions with...long story short this had unforseen consequences as this now this ex-friend of hers is talking behind her back, about things that were tensions between the two (she's being really mean)and what happened between my ex and me, but also convinced her own sister that my ex is a bad person. This sister is a very important person for my ex and she sees me as a trigger for whats happening (not the reason, just the trigger). She says that she has a love/hate relationship with me (and mind you, we still live in the same house so distance/no contact is impossible). She has serious, and I mean serious feelings towards me, she sees that I've changed, that I'm there for her, but also associates some seriously sad and negative things to me.... If more details are needed just tell me...It's complicated and I'm trying to keep it as short as I can... Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted November 8, 2016 Share Posted November 8, 2016 Man..My ex used to blame ALL of her issues on me. It's a crock! If she has internal issues, it's on her to fix them. I tried,multiple times, to change for my ex. To help her change her own issues(in vain!) and it still came down to her blaming me for the way "we are". That's bullsh**t! If they don't want to change they won't. They'll point the blame at anyone but themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pascal333 Posted November 9, 2016 Author Share Posted November 9, 2016 Man..My ex used to blame ALL of her issues on me. It's a crock! If she has internal issues, it's on her to fix them. I tried,multiple times, to change for my ex. To help her change her own issues(in vain!) and it still came down to her blaming me for the way "we are". That's bullsh**t! If they don't want to change they won't. They'll point the blame at anyone but themselves. It's just that she's making a negative association. As this situation is ongoing, whereas our past issues are gone, she is torn between wanting to do stuff with me and just seeing friends as this issue is constantly resurfacing and is really effervescent. I just dunno. Time helped alot with the rest, but will that be the case with this situation? She's losing a very close friend, and this is a rather permanent situation. If she cannot get over that...am I just doomed? Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted November 9, 2016 Share Posted November 9, 2016 It's just that she's making a negative association. As this situation is ongoing, whereas our past issues are gone, she is torn between wanting to do stuff with me and just seeing friends as this issue is constantly resurfacing and is really effervescent. I just dunno. Time helped alot with the rest, but will that be the case with this situation? She's losing a very close friend, and this is a rather permanent situation. If she cannot get over that...am I just doomed? Yes.. YOU are allowing her to associate her negative faults onto you,just as I did.. Start living for you man! Seriously! She's not 'one of a kind' and there are what I now call "semi-normal" women(No offense,ladies!) out there..She's NOT special. Link to post Share on other sites
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