This Guy I Was Seeing :(

[VeveCakes]

Just need to vent....

 

I have been dating this guy for about 5 weeks. I was getting that gut feeling something was up...you know the one. We hung out about once or a twice a week and that was fine. He came on super strong at first then kind of faded. Many times (I think 3), I talked to him and said, I need more consistency and tried to end it. This only brought him back to try harder and he would tell me how much he liked me so I would give it another shot. Things were good. We spent last Weds/Thursday together and it was awesome. We have a really good connection. Both into taking it slow.

 

Here's the kicker. I asked him several times if he was seeing other people. He always said no he wasn't, and he wasn't interested in anyone else either and that I was the only girl for him. We were basically bf/gf...his words.

 

Today my friend sent me a screen shot of him from his Tinder, where his profile is active again and he has new pics and bio since from when we met. This is new from the last few weeks.

 

Thing is I don't even care if he was dating other people if he had been honest. It's the lies and the "you're the only girl for me" BS that I can't tolerate.

 

I just text him to tell him hes a liar and to not text me anymore.

 

Time to start over

[Toodaloo]

It does suck Veve but at the end of the day all you have done is got rid of the trash to make way for the good...

 

Keep going and do not accept behaviour like this. Your only mistake (the same I usually make too) was to give the guy a chance when you first knew that he wasn't all that.

 

The women who are in those happy relationships are the ruthless ones who cut through all the crap fast.

 

We need to follow their lead.

[VeveCakes]

It does suck Veve but at the end of the day all you have done is got rid of the trash to make way for the good...

 

Keep going and do not accept behaviour like this. Your only mistake (the same I usually make too) was to give the guy a chance when you first knew that he wasn't all that.

 

The women who are in those happy relationships are the ruthless ones who cut through all the crap fast.

 

We need to follow their lead.

 

%100 agree! It's kind of funny and sad because we texted for a bit and he was all playing dumb, and then I just told him I saw him on Tinder. He said I should have talked to him first. I said there is nothing to talk about. I said I don't even care if you are dating others but the fact you lied right to my face and said you "only had eyes for me" just makes it awful. He said he wasn't even talking to anyone on there...so I said just looking for something better then? He said he was on there for boredom and amusement....which to me is just as bad.

 

Good riddance.

[Toodaloo]

Sounds like a pillock. A right prize pillock who needs an ego stroke...

 

Sod that. Far better things you could be doing with your time!

 

Good on you for sticking to it.

 

Cross fingers the next one is a better calibre of chap!

[VeveCakes]

Sounds like a pillock. A right prize pillock who needs an ego stroke...

 

Sod that. Far better things you could be doing with your time!

 

Good on you for sticking to it.

 

Cross fingers the next one is a better calibre of chap!

 

Slim pickings around here...but the old me would have probably just sat quiet and hoped for the best. It's getting easier to NEXT them

[Toodaloo]

Slim pickings around here...but the old me would have probably just sat quiet and hoped for the best. It's getting easier to NEXT them

 

I know. I am just as bad.

 

Pickings round me are a bunch of guys who all seem to have ex issues and more baggage than you could fit on a Boeing 747... I have yet to meet anyone local who has only had one wife. Its like they are collecting them like Scouts badges or something...

 

So fed up with it.

 

Am seriously thinking of going younger.

[AT15]

I am dating younger (and totally freakin hotter). I'm 37 and he is 24. And I told him I wasn't wanting to be exclusive. He was very upset, but I told him I hardly know you (only have been a month), and I am not putting all my eggs in one basket.

 

But his sex drive is pretty amazing. And he has a little baggage, but the usual stuff that a 24 would have.

 

All in all its been working out ok. So, yes, on the youngins!

[VeveCakes]

Well thats what I have been dating....24/25 yr olds...and yeah they are hot and good in bed but they are soooo all over the place mentally. Doesn't end well.

 

There is no one attractive or mentally stable around here in my age range. It sucks. I'm taking a time out from online dating. Maybe I will get lucky and meet someone in person lol

[DarrenB]

Just need to vent....

 

I have been dating this guy for about 5 weeks. I was getting that gut feeling something was up...you know the one. We hung out about once or a twice a week and that was fine. He came on super strong at first then kind of faded. Many times (I think 3), I talked to him and said, I need more consistency and tried to end it. This only brought him back to try harder and he would tell me how much he liked me so I would give it another shot. Things were good. We spent last Weds/Thursday together and it was awesome. We have a really good connection. Both into taking it slow.

 

Here's the kicker. I asked him several times if he was seeing other people. He always said no he wasn't, and he wasn't interested in anyone else either and that I was the only girl for him. We were basically bf/gf...his words.

 

Today my friend sent me a screen shot of him from his Tinder, where his profile is active again and he has new pics and bio since from when we met. This is new from the last few weeks.

 

Thing is I don't even care if he was dating other people if he had been honest. It's the lies and the "you're the only girl for me" BS that I can't tolerate.

 

I just text him to tell him hes a liar and to not text me anymore.

 

Time to start over

 

Cliche phrase #1: 'You go through the worst, to get to the best'

 

Let's hope there's more potential in your future partners. All the best!

[Toodaloo]

Well thats what I have been dating....24/25 yr olds...and yeah they are hot and good in bed but they are soooo all over the place mentally. Doesn't end well.

 

There is no one attractive or mentally stable around here in my age range. It sucks. I'm taking a time out from online dating. Maybe I will get lucky and meet someone in person lol

 

*coughs and splutters* I haven't quite gone that young... I have step children older than that!!!

 

Mind you I did discover I quite fancy some rather young men... Perhaps I should carry on going younger still!!!

[Toodaloo]

I am dating younger (and totally freakin hotter). I'm 37 and he is 24. And I told him I wasn't wanting to be exclusive. He was very upset, but I told him I hardly know you (only have been a month), and I am not putting all my eggs in one basket.

 

But his sex drive is pretty amazing. And he has a little baggage, but the usual stuff that a 24 would have.

 

All in all its been working out ok. So, yes, on the youngins!

 

You know what sod it. I am going younger...

[VeveCakes]

Younger is only good if you want flaky and casual.... which isn't working for me haha but it is literally the only options I have! It sucks.

[Toodaloo]

Younger is only good if you want flaky and casual.... which isn't working for me haha but it is literally the only options I have! It sucks.

 

Sounds like the older guys!!!

 

So how young do you think I can go before its just plain wrong...

 

22/23? then I am not quite twice their age but near as damn it!!!

[VeveCakes]

Sounds like the older guys!!!

 

So how young do you think I can go before its just plain wrong...

 

22/23? then I am not quite twice their age but near as damn it!!!

 

as young as you can get

[Toodaloo]

as young as you can get

 

I would feel like a dirty old man or something!

 

Would I have to turn round three times and spit on the floor after sex with them to ward off bad luck!!

 

I guess if they looked a bit grown up it would be OK. Perhaps I should throw the cat amongst the pigeons and go for tall and young... How tall should I go do you think... 6ft6 at least and between 20 and 25?

 

I found a cutie aged 29...

[SamIam5]

I can't stand people like that. I mean honestly, if you weren't official, he had nothing to hide - or shouldn't have felt the need to hide that he might be interested in other people.

 

Though, there is still a chance that he wasn't lying. Is it possible that he still had the account active and updated in case things didn't work out? You mentioned that you weren't 100% satisfied at first and tried to end things, so maybe he was preparing for a breakup.

It's like finding out that there's a chance you might lose your job. You don't just sit around and say "Well, guess I better just wait and see." You go out and start looking for a new job. Not trying to justify his lie, just trying to see it from his perspective.

Either way, I would move on.

[VeveCakes]

No, he admitted last night he was on there for "boredom and amusement" and that it "wasn't his fault its hilarious to see all these women using their boobs for attention".

 

Which, I thought that was a strange comment. It gave me the no feeling.

 

He hasn't contacted me today, so I'm guessing he isn't too bothered lol

[basil67]

Slim pickings around here...but the old me would have probably just sat quiet and hoped for the best. It's getting easier to NEXT them

 

Good for you! This kind of personal development rocks.

[basil67]

No, he admitted last night he was on there for "boredom and amusement" and that it "wasn't his fault its hilarious to see all these women using their boobs for attention".

 

Which, I thought that was a strange comment. It gave me the no feeling.

 

More than strange. I'd say "obnoxious" Ugh - glad you nexted him.

[Toodaloo]

No, he admitted last night he was on there for "boredom and amusement" and that it "wasn't his fault its hilarious to see all these women using their boobs for attention".

 

So he is a complete and utter jerk and blaming others for his short comings as well as belittling others in the process...

 

Dear Lord Veve... what a complete and utter tool that one was...

 

Urgh. You deserve much better than that. He is just scummy.

[VeveCakes]

I know...I was really taken aback by that comment.

 

It`s kind of amusing though, because I always tell guys that I am very intuitive and not to lie to me...because I always find out and it doesn't take me long. Since hes so much younger I think he was surprised I just called him out and didn't wait for an excuse. Hopefully he thinks long and hard about his lies but I doubt that will happen lol

[Toodaloo]

Some guys sadly think that this sort of attitude is "all that" though... Put others down to big yourself up.

 

Its all complete and utter b word for testicles...

 

I have lost count of the number of time I have rolled my eyes.

 

I am currently working on a younger man... he is a bit (extremely) shy... oh and his Dads new girlfriend is younger than I am!

[PegNosePete]

I always tell guys that I am very intuitive and not to lie to me...

a) If he is planning to lie to you then he will see this as a challenge rather than a warning. You're letting him know that he should cover his tracks carefully and take extra precautions not to get caught because you're so "intuitive".

 

b) If he is an honest guy then you're insulting him. You're telling him that you don't trust him. In the relationship you'll be a bag of paranoia and probably go through his phone, interrogate him about his whereabouts, and have a go at him for liking his female friends facebook posts, at every available opportunity.

 

That sounds like lose-lose to me. I wouldn't mention that to the next guy if I were you. I don't see how it could possibly achieve anything good - whether he is an honest guy or not.

[VeveCakes]

a) If he is planning to lie to you then he will see this as a challenge rather than a warning. You're letting him know that he should cover his tracks carefully and take extra precautions not to get caught because you're so "intuitive".

 

b) If he is an honest guy then you're insulting him. You're telling him that you don't trust him. In the relationship you'll be a bag of paranoia and probably go through his phone, interrogate him about his whereabouts, and have a go at him for liking his female friends facebook posts, at every available opportunity.

 

That sounds like lose-lose to me. I wouldn't mention that to the next guy if I were you. I don't see how it could possibly achieve anything good - whether he is an honest guy or not.

 

I don`t care if he`s planning on lying, I will find out regardless. I also tell guys I don`t trust them when I start dating them, I always tell them I review actions not words so please understand. Why should I trust someone I just met? Every man I have dated has taught me not to until I really know them. Every guy I have dated can see pretty quick that I am not a paranoid, jealous, or dramatic person. If they think that I'm going to be some paranoid psycho because I tell them not to lie to me then that is their loss. I am extremely laid back and chill. No man has ever accused me of being that type. Not even close.

 

Most guys just say, "don't worry I would never lie blah blah". And their actions tell whether they are being honest or not. I think it's important to lay it out early that I do not accept liars. For exact instances like this so I can end it quickly with a "I told you I don't date liars".