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Saw Ex at Store, Ran like a coward


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Ex and I have been broken up for three months after 1.5 year relationship. Have been no contact since then. I still have very strong feelings for him. I saw him at the grocery store today. I immediately started crying and ran away the moment I saw him. Just seeing him brought up so many emotions, I did not want him to see me crying. I do not think he saw me.

 

I am 32 and he is 40.

 

Has that happen to anyone else? When they see their ex, they just become unhinged?

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Has that happen to anyone else? When they see their ex, they just become unhinged?

 

I had it worse. A few weeks ago, I was at a gas station sitting in my friend's car. We were a few blocks from where my Ex lives. As I'm waiting, I see this couple walking down the street with a little girl. Yeap was my Ex's kid. They walk right past me. She was too much in the moment to notice me in the car.

 

I tell you, it was like a knife in my heart. I felt incredibly nauseous. My friend got back in the car and was like "OMG, what's wrong? You look sick."

 

So not only did I see my Ex but I saw my replacement. A few days later I realized that I've not detached from my Ex as much as I had thought. To have that sort of reaction shows I'm not out of the woods yet.

 

It's like the Universe wanted me to see that. Man, what a blow. You are not alone in feeling the way you did.

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You ran like a scalded dog, didn't you?

 

That's well within the bounds of normal if it really affected you. When very strong feelings are involved, there is a tendency to want to suppress them after a while, to not give them voice. Resist that, and let it all out. If it was sudden and unexpected, you may have a long, miserable slog in front of you.

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One of the first movie dates my current SO and I were on was TrainWreck/Amy Schumer.

 

So, in walks my ex, his wife and 10 yr. old son. My bf from long ago, we've been friends forever, invited to his wedding..yada, yada.

 

The reason I ran and avoided contact? If you saw the movie TrainWreck, all I could think is dude, really? You bring your 10 yr. old to a movie like this?

Even I was uncomfortable in the first 5 minutes of that movie.

 

Trying to have you laugh. It will get better. NC is best until you only avoid each other for perfectly asinine reasons. :)

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If you asked me a few weeks ago if I would have walked out of a place if I noticed my ex was there - I would have probably said yes because I was so torn apart by NC.

 

Right now, though? I'm feeling good and confident. It depends on the circumstances. I would probably be weirded out if I saw him with his partner. I'd continue walking, but I'd still make eye contact with him.

 

I am living my authentic life and I have nothing to feel badly about.

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