Ex ended a 6 years relationship and is in love 4 days after that

[ScaryToughts]

My ex and I were together since we were 15 and we are 21 now. He is my first and I am his. We had an amazing connection mentally and physically, the relationship was wonderful.

 

Two months ago, he brought up that we don't have any common interest. He was bored because I didn't like his interests and thought I wasn't fun to talk to anymore. I cried a lot thinking he was going to leave me but he said that our love was all that mattered. But after that, I became crazy jealous and terrified that he would leave me, so I had (and still have) a depression.

 

He broke up with me last week (Wednesday) because of these reasons. I was (and still) is devastated, I dropped school and don't want to see anyone. Then, I learned from Facebook that he was in a new relationship four days after we broke up (Sunday) ! I asked his brother about that girl, thinking he cheated but he didn't. The strangest thing is that he met her on Tinder the day we broke up, met her for real on Sunday and was already in love with her. The second strangest thing is that she is SIXTEEN ! The third strangest thing is that we had sex on Saturday because he said he missed me and I was desperate, and the next day he is with her. His brother told me that my ex is crazy about her already. They have everything in common, talk and think the same way. My ex thinks she is so mature for her age and her face and body too.

 

I don't know what to think, he moved on so fast and I still think he is the love of my life. I keep imagining them laughing together, kissing and having sex. I feel like trowing up because of their age gap. It lowers my self esteem and I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I am so mad, I want to punch him in the face.

 

I need advice to stop torturing myself and to move on.

[JewelD]

He was def cheating.

 

Scumbag move, but it might be the best thing for you. Now that its over, you're free to find someone better. Were you truly 100% satisfied with him? People change a lot from 15-21. What you wanted with him back then may not be what you need right now .

 

Plus hes a statutory rapist if he's going after underage girls. You can and will do better than him!

[Redhead14]

My ex and I were together since we were 15 and we are 21 now. He is my first and I am his. We had an amazing connection mentally and physically, the relationship was wonderful.

 

Two months ago, he brought up that we don't have any common interest. He was bored because I didn't like his interests and thought I wasn't fun to talk to anymore. I cried a lot thinking he was going to leave me but he said that our love was all that mattered. But after that, I became crazy jealous and terrified that he would leave me, so I had (and still have) a depression.

 

He broke up with me last week (Wednesday) because of these reasons. I was (and still) is devastated, I dropped school and don't want to see anyone. Then, I learned from Facebook that he was in a new relationship four days after we broke up (Sunday) ! I asked his brother about that girl, thinking he cheated but he didn't. The strangest thing is that he met her on Tinder the day we broke up, met her for real on Sunday and was already in love with her. The second strangest thing is that she is SIXTEEN ! The third strangest thing is that we had sex on Saturday because he said he missed me and I was desperate, and the next day he is with her. His brother told me that my ex is crazy about her already. They have everything in common, talk and think the same way. My ex thinks she is so mature for her age and her face and body too.

 

I don't know what to think, he moved on so fast and I still think he is the love of my life. I keep imagining them laughing together, kissing and having sex. I feel like trowing up because of their age gap. It lowers my self esteem and I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I am so mad, I want to punch him in the face.

 

I need advice to stop torturing myself and to move on.

 

Sweetie, nobody, I mean, nobody takes away my self-esteem!!! That belongs to you/us.

 

The fact is that, legally, he is a pedophile and he will be fortunate if he isn't brought up on statutory rape charges by her parents.

 

Second, I don't care how long you are in a relationship with someone, if they decide they aren't happy and decide to cheat -- you can't build a fence high enough to keep them from doing it. In other words, let them go and keep moving forward for yourself. You owe that to yourself.

 

I also don't care if anyone says he "just met/found her". Dollars to donuts he's at least been communicating with her for a while.

 

It only appears that he's moved on quickly. The truth is that he had moved on emotionally a while ago and he gave you a heads up. So, this didn't happen overnight.

 

He does not deserve the power you are giving him by allowing yourself to mess with your schooling or your head. Give yourself some time to grieve. Do it in little bits. Make a time everyday, say for 1/2 an hour or so, to sit with your feelings and process. Cry, scream, write in a journal. At the end of that time, you FORCE yourself to do something else, anything else to distract you from this and focus on things that are important to you.

 

Block his number and delete it for your own good. All this is very, very difficult I know, but trust me, it will be the best way to get past all of this. This will not be your last relationship and it will not be the last one that ends. It's part of dating and looking for a suitable partner.

 

You were both very young and there is so much out there to explore and be part of. Go out and have some fun with your friends and family for a while.

[Kelley]

You are not responsible for his actions, he is. Don't blame yourself, he was obviously cheating on you, you are well rid of him. It hurts like hell I know, I'm going through something similar. You have to try and accept he has gone, he doesn't feel the same way anymore.

 

You need to block him on everything, don't ask about him, and just get through the days the best you can. You are young, and I know you don't want to hear it, but you will meet someone else, that will love and respect you. Just look after you, keep occupied and don't torture yourself, the best revenge, moving forward with your life and doing well without him.

[aloneinaz]

I agree with the posters above. He "checked out" of that R/S with you a long time ago. He was over you and it. Was he cheating, I'd say the chances are high that he was. Does it matter now? Nope. I'm sure he wanted to date others and have more relationship experience like you should.

 

You need to find your pride, self worth and self esteem. Seriously. All first loves end, especially when they start off in the late teens. This is normal and to be expected. Kids your age should be dating lots of different folks. Have some relationships under your belt before ever getting all serious and wanting to settle down for marriage.

 

Want to get over this the fastest? BLOCK him on everything. Don't spy on his social media. Don't speak to his family or friends to get updates. He's now YOUR PAST. Focus on you. Read the NC thread. Then, heal and get out there and date others. You're only young once. Don't waste it by crying over a relationship that was going to end one day anyway.

[stillafool]

I agree to stop all communication with his brother/family in order to heal. Block your ex from contacting you and whatever you do do not try to get him back using sex. It will eventually make him think less of you and it won't make him come back. I agree with JewelD that he was definitely checking out this girl before he broke it off with you. There are so many young men out there to date and experience. You will be okay. We all lose our first loves.

[ExpatInItaly]

Sorry OP, but I agree with the others - he was cheating. It's very obvious. Those trying to convince you otherwise are trying to protect him.

[tilby]

He was definitely cheating. No-one is 'in love' that fast after a breakup, especially after 6 years. I know it hurts now, but further down the track you will be thankful you're no longer with him. As for your ex and the other woman. Karma is a b****.

 

That jealousy you speak of 2 months ago, IMO was your intuition telling you something was wrong. He was making subtle hints he was exiting and you were onto it. You're not crazy, he was trying to make you feel crazy to divert attention from him. Typical actions of a cheater.

[darkmoon]

when she gets older, she wil go too, enter third girl then...

[elaine567]

He is very young, he has many options, yes he may have been cheating but perhaps not.

It is easy for a young man to find a new "love" on Tinder in days, so maybe he did just do what he said he did.

He was "bored", he was no longer in love, so given the impetus of the split, he moved swiftly on to pastures new.

He is now infatuated and giddy on the new experience.

It is not uncommon.

 

These long term "young" relationships are often doomed to failure. At 21 after 6 years together the relationship has to go somewhere and that somewhere was marriage and kids, but many at 21 are nowhere near wanting to settle down. They want to party and do things they never did before, so the natural thing to do is to split, and that is what happened here.

 

Tip: I know you want him back but having sex with him, will not achieve that. He will just use you, and carry on looking for other women, which is what he did on Saturday.

Accept that it is over.