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What a mess-I did the right thing?


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Was living with a woman. We were engaged. Found out she was cheating so I moved out The break up wasn't nice. She broke things of mine. I remained calm and didn't react to it even though I was mad. She had 4 dogs. She said I could have one. I said yes to taking one of the dogs.

 

Fast forward 3 weeks. She keeps telling me she'll drop off the dog. And she has some of my stuff she wants to give me back. I tell her no thanks on the dog-I don't want anything from her. And what I left at her house she can either use or throw away but to leave me alone. I told her all she did was use the dog for leverage and an excuse to text me.

 

I should also say we work at the same place. I do my job. Have no problems with her in that regard.

 

Fast forward TEN DAYS from that conversation. I get off work. I almost decide to take a mini vacation-just go straight from work to somewhere. At the last minute I decide not to. Get to my home and my porch is trashed with crap all over the place. And in a small crate with no food or water is a dog. Keep in mind I work 14 hour shifts.

 

Some of the stuff on the porch is in fact mine but nothing of importance except mail that she left laying out in the open with my personal info. Most of the stuff isn't even mine.

 

So I call the police. File a trespassing order which basically states she can't come near my residence. Call animal control. They take the dog and I give them her info.

 

I was most mad that this person left an animal in the sun with no food or water in a crate too small for the dog. And then ASSUMED I was coming home after work. I ask would you have done the same or handled it different?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited for paragraphs ~ V
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I think you handled it perfectly. Really sad what she did to that poor dog. I hope the humane society goes after her for animal cruelty. I also like what you did in filing the trespassing complaint.

 

I think you should insure your locks are changed. I'd personally change my phone number, block her on social media and maybe look for another job. I'd have a hard time going to the same place each day as that woman.

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I don't have a problem working with her. Sure I got the look of death from her but I just ignore it.

I also figured the reason she dropped off all that junk was so in essence she could have the last word. And I figured she would somehow find another excuse to drop more things off in the future and I didn't want that.

The dog was what really pissed me off. The nerve of someone to decide that they are going to drop off an animal with no food or water. After being told not to do it.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Long story short I work in the same place as my ex. We don't work in the same department but we do see each other in passing.

I broke up with her because of her cheating. She had a new boyfriend about 2 days after we broke up.

Now I don't give her any mean looks or anything when I see her but lately she seems to freak out if I happen to walk by-like trying to run back into her department,quickly turning around as I walk by etc. It's gotten so bad now people at work have started to talk about how she acts and I don't understand why she's acting like this-it's not like I'm giving her angry looks-I just walk by.

I am starting to get annoyed by it because now everyone is asking ME why she's acting like that and I don't even talk to her.

Guilt maybe?

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She's trying to turn the tables and make you look like a bad guy. Don't take the bait. Continue to ignore her and when asked why she is acting like she is, shrug & say "I have no idea. You'll have to ask her."

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If she's acting like that it's out of guilt but if she tries to make you out the bad guy then tell the people that ask that you broke up with her because she cheated on you. Let her handle it then.

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Everybody all ready knows because it was a co worker she cheated on me with.

So she can't really flip it. We been apart for a couple of months and just RECENTLY she just started doing this.

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I’m sorry -- this must be a difficult and awkward situation for you. I really don’t have much advice, but I would suggest you stay calm and keep your cool. Take care!

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Here's an advice:

 

Next time you see her, go to her and say: "Let's be civil and adults, it's no fun ignoring people no matter on what terms, so from now on i'm going to say hi when i see you. hi..."

 

I have long experience - It works, because it's true. No one in the world likes the ignoring scene.

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  • 1 month later...
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If you read my other posts you'll know that I work with my ex and the man she cheated on me with.

I pretty much ignore her unless it's work related. I've moved on.

So I'm at work and and a coworker comes up and ask me when I got back togeather with my ex. I asked what is he talking about. He states my ex is telling everyone we've been seeing each other but keeping it a secret.

I dismiss it as people just trying to start gossip. Until latter in the day 3 other coworkers tell me they are surprised that I've gotten back with my ex. I asked them if my ex told them that and they say yes. I quickly say that is not the case.

I'm confused why my ex would say such a thing. Any opinions?

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If you read my other posts you'll know that I work with my ex and the man she cheated on me with.

I pretty much ignore her unless it's work related. I've moved on.

So I'm at work and and a coworker comes up and ask me when I got back togeather with my ex. I asked what is he talking about. He states my ex is telling everyone we've been seeing each other but keeping it a secret.

I dismiss it as people just trying to start gossip. Until latter in the day 3 other coworkers tell me they are surprised that I've gotten back with my ex. I asked them if my ex told them that and they say yes. I quickly say that is not the case.

I'm confused why my ex would say such a thing. Any opinions?

 

Just ask her what on earth she's talking about if it's really bothering you that much, simple.

 

It's weird and I'd definitely confront something like that, especially if it's untrue and propaganda.

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I've read some of your other threads and it totally makes sense. She is nut job! I think she is trying to just cause drama for you and she's delusional. I think she is just trying to get a rise out of you.

 

I'm not sure I'd talk to her about it just yet (probably what she is hoping for). I'd keep clear of her. It will only add to the drama she is "trying" to create for you. Just make it clear to people if they continue to ask that you and her don't even talk and are in no way back together nor will you ever be. Leave at that even if they egg you on for more gossip. Don't say anything bad about her to anyone at work. The less you say the better.

 

Please tell me that you want nothing to do with her

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WOW! I got so interested in your story from the above poster haha!

But I would have to agree you have a kind of odd ex.

She seems very hot and cold and she's confused.

How old is she?

I think you should confront her about it, in a mutual place. Not your place, not hers. Somewhere where she will feel bad about breaking down. Because it sounds like she will. And just tell her you and her are done. Don't ask why she's spreading this rumor. Maybe she should see a therapist...

Then stick with no contact after.

What she's done is unacceptable.

 

-WhatDEWWWWW

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Yes. She's older then me-in her 40s!!!

I really think something is off with her.

I'm not even going to talk to her about it-I think that thier is no need-I KNOW its not true and that's all that matters. And honestly she more then likely would not admit it anyway.

It's not like it upset me - I just found it really weird.

I think a big part of it also is she doesn't hold anymore power over me-she in the past could always get s reaction from me and now I don't react. I keep it professional.

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Yeah, don't say anything more than "that's not the case" if someone asks you. And don't confront her with these comments. She is trying to open up an opportunity to talk to you...and using your co-workers to do the dirty work.

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You know what, good for you man!

That's an awesome outlook on it :)

Keep that chin up and flaunt that single status, woop!

 

Thanks for the laugh and wishing you the best,

-WhatDEWWWWW

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I agree. A female coworker was going to confront her but I said let it go-if a woman in her forties wants to act like a child so be it. Not my problem anymore.

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I agree. A female coworker was going to confront her but I said let it go-if a woman in her forties wants to act like a child so be it. Not my problem anymore.

 

Cluster B type personalities can exhibit this behavior.

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I agree. A female coworker was going to confront her but I said let it go-if a woman in her forties wants to act like a child so be it. Not my problem anymore.

 

Amen and congrats to you for seeing this from jump. Don't feed into it, she's clearly a whacko.

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  • 1 month later...
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That they can not contact you in ANYWAY. You don't want to change your number then you BLOCK them. The only way an ex could contact you is if he/she shows up on your doorstep. And then its so much easier to judge someones intentions. Its easy shooting a random text to an ex.

I don't understand why people allow exs to gain contact through text.

Could someone explain this to me?

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When the heart is in control and you're still in emotional state, that's what happens. In time when your logic eventually takes over, then you can do it.

Edited by dumbass2
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I understand matters of the heart and I too made the same mistake BEFORE I started to read posts on this site and the one thing I saw is you respond to a random text from an ex the ex would all the sudden go cold.

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I understand matters of the heart and I too made the same mistake BEFORE I started to read posts on this site and the one thing I saw is you respond to a random text from an ex the ex would all the sudden go cold.

 

I recently responded to a text from an ex. It was a logistical text about a bill. I responded short and polite/indifferent. Heard nothing back. I think what is hard for many of us is ignoring something when they seem to just be texting you about something logistical and in a civil manner. It's the mature, reasonable professional in me that wants to respond in kind, and wrap up the logistics/loose ends.

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