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I'm bit annoyed with the break up?


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Hello. I hope everyone is ok

 

So I have been in my first relationship with this guy for 2 years. It was long distance relationship but we meet up every weekend and some other days during the week. He used to suffer from depression and anxiety and used to take medication from a psychiatrist. Two months after he met me he no longer needed those medicine and became much happier as a person. In fact his grades improved and his relationship with his family has improved. And he admitted that it was because me.

 

On January 2016 we both got accepted from different colleges unfortunately to study Masters. He planned in dropping a year and follow me for one year till I finish. I thought it was a bad idea and that I can handle one more year of distance and we even did a better planning on how to meet and increase communication as its no different from the last times. Two weeks ago I caught him cheating on me with 25 other significants on snapchat (nothing romantic, but sexual). He then broke up with me because he thinks I'm "restricting" him from meeting new people and living the new life in college

 

As much as I feel back stabbed I realised his best friend who disapproves of our relationship told him to leave me. I regret now not letting him follow me and stuff. Now he is sending me emails saying how much he misses me but still just wants to be friends. I'm wondering is the new life style that he will have will make him miss me, taking note his college will be stressful, he has to find a job to pay the rent (I used to pay his bills because he was financially unbalanced). Or will the new life style make him forget about me. Because it's not fair I'm in pain and he is enjoying time sleeping with others.

 

Note he didn't use me at and never cheated on me until that time. He didn't have an excuse apart from "fantasies", he used to sacrifice a lot for me. Something changed him.

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I can't believe you think he's better off without the meds, given the erratic way he is now behaving and how many women he's chasing and how he totally flew the coop on you. But just be glad he didn't waste any more of your time.

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Awee, you love! After reading your post OP, there's nothing left to discuss about that failed R/S. Meds/no meds, it doesn't matter. He got bored. He's young and like most guys and gals, wanted to sow some oats to explore what out there. You should be wanting to do the same before settling into a SERIOUS R/S at such a young age.

 

Learn what you can from that experience, go NC w/him unless you like teenage drama and BS and move on. Have fun while you in college. Enjoy your youth!

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Awee, you love! After reading your post OP, there's nothing left to discuss about that failed R/S. Meds/no meds, it doesn't matter. He got bored. He's young and like most guys and gals, wanted to sow some oats to explore what out there. You should be wanting to do the same before settling into a SERIOUS R/S at such a young age.

 

Learn what you can from that experience, go NC w/him unless you like teenage drama and BS and move on. Have fun while you in college. Enjoy your youth!

 

I am in N/C and he is emailing me saying he wants to meet up and he misses but wants to be friends. Hahah I'm not really into playing around. I prefer serious relationship and true love (which isn't true nowadays)

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Hello. I hope everyone is ok

 

So I have been in my first relationship with this guy for 2 years. It was long distance relationship but we meet up every weekend and some other days during the week. He used to suffer from depression and anxiety and used to take medication from a psychiatrist. Two months after he met me he no longer needed those medicine and became much happier as a person. In fact his grades improved and his relationship with his family has improved. And he admitted that it was because me.

 

On January 2016 we both got accepted from different colleges unfortunately to study Masters. He planned in dropping a year and follow me for one year till I finish. I thought it was a bad idea and that I can handle one more year of distance and we even did a better planning on how to meet and increase communication as its no different from the last times. Two weeks ago I caught him cheating on me with 25 other significants on snapchat (nothing romantic, but sexual). He then broke up with me because he thinks I'm "restricting" him from meeting new people and living the new life in college

 

As much as I feel back stabbed I realised his best friend who disapproves of our relationship told him to leave me. I regret now not letting him follow me and stuff. Now he is sending me emails saying how much he misses me but still just wants to be friends. I'm wondering is the new life style that he will have will make him miss me, taking note his college will be stressful, he has to find a job to pay the rent (I used to pay his bills because he was financially unbalanced). Or will the new life style make him forget about me? Because it's not fair I'm in pain and he is enjoying time sleeping with others? I know he wants me but he is afraid that relationship will cause him not to have fun and "miss out". Does he deserve a chance when it comes to it?

 

Note he didn't use me at and never cheated on me until that time. He didn't have an excuse apart from "fantasies", he used to sacrifice a lot for me. Something changed him.

 

He blames you for his cheating behavior and you still want him back? Dump him and never look back. You teach others how to treat you.

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To be honest, you both sound young and somewhat immature.

 

Two thoughts - first, college is all about meeting people and social interaction. It doesn't surprise me that he wants to meet new people/explore new opportunities... especially if you are in a long distance relationship - I wouldn't expect the relationship to last, to be really honest. But, cheating is not cool! You need to have enough self respect to say - "Hey buddy, if you are going to have other relationships with women, you are not going to be coming "home" to me."

 

If he is behaving like this and telling you that he wants to be friends, you should wish him well and let him go. Best to focus on school and maybe meet someone who you can develop a more mature relationship with.

 

The other thing... Why are you worried about what he eats/paying his bills. He is a grown man and he needs to develop theses skills for himself. You are not doing him any favours if you micromanage his life for him... That is controlling and codependent right there!

 

Whatever happens with the guy, have fun in college. Study hard, meet people and have fun, but be smart and be safe with the relationships. Life is just starting for you... Who knows where your journey will take you. All the best!

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I am in N/C and he is emailing me saying he wants to meet up and he misses but wants to be friends. Hahah I'm not really into playing around. I prefer serious relationship and true love (which isn't true nowadays)

 

Then your options are-

 

1) Continue to have contact with him and then enjoy all the drama, games, bs and mental gymnastics.

 

2) Or, realize and accept that most young relationships run their course and end. Then, cut all contact w/the guy to stop the madness, heal and then get out there and have fun dating others!

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I am in N/C and he is emailing me saying he wants to meet up and he misses but wants to be friends. Hahah I'm not really into playing around. I prefer serious relationship and true love (which isn't true nowadays)

 

Virallad, try not to get hung up on the notion of seeking 'true love'. Or at least, your One True Love.

 

I don't think the concept of love has changed at all. The majority of us will have a number of loves during our lives. And each one is special in their own way. This current love has ended, but there will be more love out there for you.

 

Keep up the no contact. Being friends will just hold you back.

 

As for the future, avoid men who can't manage money!

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Hello. I hope everyone is ok

 

So I have been in my first relationship with this guy for 2 years. It was long distance relationship but we meet up every weekend and some other days during the week. He used to suffer from depression and anxiety and used to take medication from a psychiatrist. Two months after he met me he no longer needed those medicine and became much happier as a person. In fact his grades improved and his relationship with his family has improved. And he admitted that it was because me.

 

On January 2016 we both got accepted from different colleges unfortunately to study Masters. He planned in dropping a year and follow me for one year till I finish. I thought it was a bad idea and that I can handle one more year of distance and we even did a better planning on how to meet and increase communication as its no different from the last times. Two weeks ago I caught him cheating on me with 25 other significants on snapchat (nothing romantic, but sexual). He then broke up with me because he thinks I'm "restricting" him from meeting new people and living the new life in college

 

As much as I feel back stabbed I realised his best friend who disapproves of our relationship told him to leave me. I regret now not letting him follow me and stuff. Now he is sending me emails saying how much he misses me but still just wants to be friends. I'm wondering is the new life style that he will have will make him miss me, taking note his college will be stressful, he has to find a job to pay the rent (I used to pay his bills because he was financially unbalanced). Or will the new life style make him forget about me. Because it's not fair I'm in pain and he is enjoying time sleeping with others.

 

Note he didn't use me at and never cheated on me until that time. He didn't have an excuse apart from "fantasies", he used to sacrifice a lot for me. Something changed him.

 

What does this mean, exactly? He's had sex with over 25 other women?

 

In any case, the relationship sounds like it's over. It doesn't matter if he didn't cheat before. He has now. You're right, he's changed. You have to deal in the reality of now, not who he used to be. The fact that he feels "restricted" says everything. He wants to meet other women and has checked out of the relationship. It's not fair, no. Any of us here who have been betrayed (and there are quite a few on here, myself included) can sympathize. But sadly, the old cliche that "life isn't fair" is very true. This is not because you encouraged him not to follow you for a year. It's because he's not into the relationship anymore and wasn't mature enough to admit it to you.

 

And sorry, I know you don't want to think you're being used, but it sure reads that way. Does he have some pressing bills now that need paying?

 

You need to let this one go. A man who really wanted to be with you would not have behaved the way he did. I know it's your first relationship, but girl, this isn't love anymore. You deserve a lot better than a man who can't keep it in his pants.

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I have been with this guy for two years and a half. He used to suffer from depression anxiety and failing college. Until he met me he felt so happy and confident and starting to improve. I financially helped him in college as well. Our relationship has been a LDR since he only loves two hours away so we meet with each other every weekend or most of the days in the week.

 

His best friend disapproves of our relationship because the lack of communication they suddenly both have. After we both are about to move in different colleges once again only few hours away but it's only going to be for semester before we move in together. I caught him cheating on me with 25 other women on snapchat. He has been doing it for the last two weeks and dumped me few days ago saying he wants "to meet new people" and "doesn't want to priorities his new life style and relationship" and the fact he doesn't feel ready. For me the offensive since I got him out of his depression and medication also he bonded better with his mother. (His family all loves me). I think he listened to his best friend to leave me and he also told him that he regrets the relationship because of lack of communication. Now he is saying he misses my voice and wants to meet up. I know he is having one night stands most of the time but do you think I should forgive him and take him back or do I let him go and see what's he is curious about till he realise that breaking up with me wasn't a good point

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He doesn't love nor appreciate you. To him you're just a shoulder to cry on. Any man who loves and appreciates you won't hurt you so much especially after helping them like that. Save yourself the lifetime hurt and move on if he really loves you he'll find you and he'll prove it and you'll know it.

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I just broke up from a two years relationship. I caught my man cheating on me then he dumped me. I can see he is having one night stand so I was thinking should also go out and have sexual intimacy. Will this help build my confidence and self esteem. Seems working for him so I'm wondering will it work for me to? Or is it a bad habit in the long run

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I do and have BUT, all it is, is emotional-less sex. I can get that on any street corner/bar so,what's the point,really? I know "needs" need to be met every now and then but, I'm getting to the age that I don't want that anymore.

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I just broke up from a two years relationship. I caught my man cheating on me then he dumped me. I can see he is having one night stand so I was thinking should also go out and have sexual intimacy. Will this help build my confidence and self esteem. Seems working for him so I'm wondering will it work for me to? Or is it a bad habit in the long run

 

It doesn't help, and in many cases it just gives you another thing to feel upset about.

 

Spend some time with people who make you feel good, family and friends, etc.

 

You'll get over him and his cheating, and then you'll move on to something much better.

 

 

Take care.

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HE dumped YOU, so he is not heartbroken like you are.

He no doubt wanted to have sex with other women hence the break up.

YOU are in different place.

ONSs may make you feel better but as many men will have a ONS with just about any woman, it may not do your ego much good.

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since you are doing it primarily to fill a void and to hurt him, the much greater likelihood is that it will make you feel worse.

 

ONS's rarely help women's confidence because literally ANY woman can spread her legs and get some dude to climb on top of her for a night. A woman getting a man to do her for one night with no commitment and no relationship and no respect and no dignity is literally one of the easiest things in the world to do.

 

Think of it like filling a bucket with sand while you are in the desert. It will give you no satisfaction, will not bolster your confidence and will not impress anyone, because it is so easy and anyone could do it. If you brag about it or show it off, people will just roll their eyes and think you are wacko.

 

The same is true with a woman going out and having a ONS to get back at her BF. It is the lowest common denominator because any woman could do it.

 

In the end it will just make you feel more used and more foolish and probably a bit pathetic.

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I'll give you the list of 'shoulds' and shouldn'ts.'

 

Shoulds -

 

- you should concentrate primarily on your studies and your future in college.

 

- you should get out and meet and do fun and interesting things with a variety of people.in

 

- you should date a variety of people, (that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to sleep with all of them if that is not part of your beliefs or value system, but you should get out and date a variety of people)

 

- walk away from those who mistreat, abandon, abuse, manipulate, use or dump you.

 

- you should budget and manage your money wisely and prioritize your own education and financial future.

 

Now the shouldn'ts -

 

- date fixer-uppers or people with character problems or emotional/psychological problems that impair their ability to function as independent functional beings.

 

-involve yourself to the degree that it interfers with or distracts you from your education.

 

- give anyone else money.

 

-commit yourself exclusively with one person until you have dated and gotten to know a wide variety of people in a wide variety of situations.

 

- try to hang on to someone that has tried to get rid of you.

 

-allow someone that has dumped you access to your heart or headspace.

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My ex broke up with me after I caught him cheating and he said he wanted to enjoy the new college life and meet people. Despite being hurt for wasting two years of relationship. I went no contact with him and told him not to snapchat me because I didn't want to see his face. After two weeks of no contact he snapped me a pic of him saying "hey. How are you keeping. How's your class"

 

He looks different in style. He looks so not him from the way he dresses and stuff and outdoor so I'm not sure if he is drinking. But why did he snap me. Instead Of going out and "meeting new people" and dump me who helped him through his major depression and anxiety problems. I didn't reply to him. But what's his point

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He did this to see if you'd respond and to see if he still had power over you. He's hoping you'll reply back that you miss him so much and he's so awesome. Basically, he's looking for you to stroke his ego and to see if you're still there as a potential fall back plan. Maybe he's lonely and wants to see if he can get a booty call from you.

 

I know it hurts and sucks when you break up from your first relationship. We've all brought that ground. Staying NC, blocking him and moving on with your life will get you feeling better about it the fastest.

 

Your play here should be to ignore him and THEN block him on all social media. Doing this will take the wind out of his sails. You're both in college. It goes by fast so enjoy that time. Go out and have fun and date new people.

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