He cut off contact via text and now wants to talk on the phone. Should I even talk t

[sotac]

Hey everyone,

 

I went out with this guy for a year, but we were only casually seeing each other. After a year of not seeing each other, but always remaining in contact via text/call, we started to see each other again a couple of months ago. Last week I wanted to see him to talk about our situation (I wanted to stop the causal thing, as it was not working for me anymore since i started to see more in him and would have liked more from him. But I still wanted to remain friends, as I knew he wouldn't reciprocate the feelings). When I asked him whether we could see each other he responded that it's better not to see each other, that he started dating someone and that it would be pointless to talk. Needless to say, I replied with two rather angry messages to which he didn't answer. Only after my third message a few days later, and for me final one (as I didn't expect a response anymore), he tried to call immediately (but I didn't answer) and then wrote me apologizing for how he reacted and that he wants to talk on the phone. I only answered that I'd like to talk but that at the moment I won't be able to handle the conversation. He seemed to understand it and replied that when I am ready, we will talk.

 

I have been thinking about this a lot these last few days and I don't know what to do. I wanted to talk to him and I really needed to talk to him, but now after all what happened and seeing how he behaved (if I hadn't had said anything, my impression is for him it would have been ok to leave things like this) I really don't know what to do. A part of me is considering not to talk on the phone. Any input?

[Gr8fuln2020]

Hey everyone,

 

I went out with this guy for a year, but we were only casually seeing each other. After a year of not seeing each other, but always remaining in contact via text/call, we started to see each other again a couple of months ago. Last week I wanted to see him to talk about our situation (I wanted to stop the causal thing, as it was not working for me anymore since i started to see more in him and would have liked more from him. But I still wanted to remain friends, as I knew he wouldn't reciprocate the feelings). When I asked him whether we could see each other he responded that it's better not to see each other, that he started dating someone and that it would be pointless to talk. Needless to say, I replied with two rather angry messages to which he didn't answer. Only after my third message a few days later, and for me final one (as I didn't expect a response anymore), he tried to call immediately (but I didn't answer) and then wrote me apologizing for how he reacted and that he wants to talk on the phone. I only answered that I'd like to talk but that at the moment I won't be able to handle the conversation. He seemed to understand it and replied that when I am ready, we will talk.

 

I have been thinking about this a lot these last few days and I don't know what to do. I wanted to talk to him and I really needed to talk to him, but now after all what happened and seeing how he behaved (if I hadn't had said anything, my impression is for him it would have been ok to leave things like this) I really don't know what to do. A part of me is considering not to talk on the phone. Any input?

 

Wow, you are being taken to the emotion/relationship cleaners. He's been using you as a FWB and you've been playing along. Now that you want more and he doesnt', it's become messy. Why do you want to contact him? He's seeing someone else. Do you respect the other girl that he's seeing in any way? I don't believe the other girl would appreciate a recent FWB continuing to contact her bf. Would you?

[sotac]

Why do you want to contact him? He's seeing someone else. Do you respect the other girl that he's seeing in any way? I don't believe the other girl would appreciate a recent FWB continuing to contact her bf. Would you?

 

But he is the one trying to call me and wanting to talk. I don't understand it. But he said he doesn't do it because he feels like he has to but because he wants to. I'm wondering myself whether i should talk to him, otherwise I wouldn't have poster it here

[Zahara]

What to talk about? It was FWB. Like you said casual. He met someone else and moved on. Not sure what you need to discuss with him.

[aloneinaz]

What to talk about? It was FWB. Like you said casual. He met someone else and moved on. Not sure what you need to discuss with him.

 

My thoughts as well. I'm not sure why you felt compelled to send him angry messages when he advised you that he was dating someone new now? You had gone along willingly in a casual relationship for a year.

 

Sweetie, you need to accept that this guy simply wasn't into you enough to want a serious relationship. If he was, he'd of WANTED to and told you that vs. actively dating and finding someone else.

 

I'd vanish from this guy. That casual/FWB relationship has crashed and burned. He got what he wanted out of it and has moved on. You need to do the same by having no further contact w/him.