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Am I being ghost after breakup?


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Short and Sweet,

 

We were together for 1.5 years. Was looking at buying a house together, having babies, marriage. We got into a fight on the way home from looking at a house for us because I found out that he had been married 15 years ago and he never told me and he broke up with me cause I cursed him out. That was the first time I have done that. I apologize the next day for cursing him out but he was still mad. Waited five more days and text him. He said he did not want to get back together with me when I asked him. I told him I leave him alone and went into no contact for 30 days. He did not contact me during those 30 days. I text him after 30 days but he did not respond. Waited a week and text him again. Did not get a response.

 

I am not sure why he is has not responded. I am not sure if he is angry that I went no contact on him or if he already found someone else. It just hurts that he has not responded to me. I feel like I have been ghost.

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Sorry this has happened....he is not texting back because he doesn't want to be with you. Sounds like he needed an out and the argument was his chance.

 

Was there any other sign prior to that argument?

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Sounds shaky anyway ....if you were together 1.5 years and he never told you he was married before, sth's not right.

 

He's not really ghosting you btw. He broke up and now he has nothing to say. Ghosting happens w/out the breakup.

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I do not think there were signs. We were looking at buying a house together which was his idea in the first place when the argument went down. The previous week he asked if he could move in with me.

 

Maybe he was just blowing smoke the entire time...

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Is he divorced, is he actually in a position to offer you marriage?

How did his previous marriage come up in the conversation?

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Yes, he is very non-confrontational.

 

Sounds like he has an avoidant attachment style....classic move to bolt right before actually having to face reality of moving in etc. He will likely never be able to get close to anyone.

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Yes, He got divorce in 2002.

 

I knew about the woman. I knew it was a bad relationship and that he married her right after high school and that it was a a very rocky relationship. I knew about her, just not that he put a ring on it.

 

He told me when I confronted him that no one knew about his marriage because it was a very tough time for him.

 

I found out through public records. Since we were looking at houses together and was going sell our respective houses, I went on the tax assessors website to see what the appraised value of his house. He had bought the house during his marriage and had her removed from the house when they got divorce.

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Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I'm not sure how badly you tore into him or how aggressive you were. However, most guys don't want a volatile women who goes off like a hand grenade in their lives either. You know you could of discussed this in a more appropriate way. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but rather, am suggesting you have a learning lesson here.

 

If he was THAT quick to abandon that R/S, he wasn't a keeper. There's was obviously other things that he wasn't happy with in that R/S and as mentioned, used your fight to run.

 

Again, learn what you can from it and move on w/out contacting him again.

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Consider yourself lucky that you found this out before you bought a house with him. I agree that he has broken up with you and moved on with his life rather than going ghost on you.

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ExpatInItaly

I know you don't feel this way right now, but you've dodged a big bullet.

 

He lied by omission about something serious. How could you ever trust him again after that? He's mad because his cover was blown wide open and you exposed him for what he is - a liar.

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He said he did not want to get back together with me when I asked him.

 

I am not sure why he is has not responded. I am not sure if he is angry that I went no contact on him or if he already found someone else. It just hurts that he has not responded to me. I feel like I have been ghost.

 

He hasn't ghosted you. He has told you that he does not want to be with you. And that is why he has not responded. Stop reaching out to him. This is for the best.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I have not heard from the Ex at all in the past two months...

 

I started dating again. They guy I am dating is really nice guy and I do like him but I feel so GUILTY for dating other people even when my Ex has made no attempt to contact me. I feel like I am cheating even though my ex and I are no longer together. I was wondering if this has happen to people and what should I do? Should I stop dating and just concentrate on myself more? Continue to date the guy I am currently seeing and see where it goes?

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If you feel guilty stop dating and work on getting over your ex. Quite frankly your ex is gone and doesn't look like he's coming back so it's a shame to let a nice guy go; but only you know your feelings. You have nothing to feel guilty about - he's gone.

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I have not heard from the Ex at all in the past two months...

 

I started dating again. They guy I am dating is really nice guy and I do like him but I feel so GUILTY for dating other people even when my Ex has made no attempt to contact me. I feel like I am cheating even though my ex and I are no longer together. I was wondering if this has happen to people and what should I do? Should I stop dating and just concentrate on myself more? Continue to date the guy I am currently seeing and see where it goes?

 

You can't cheat on someone with whom you are not in a relationship! Your Ex didn't ghost you, he went No Contact which is the right way to handle a break up.

 

And, yes, you should concentrate on yourself and the new guy. It's very unfair to the new guy if you aren't focusing on him and hung up on someone who is no longer part of your life.

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I know I should not feel guilty. I am not doing anything wrong.

 

I just do not know why I feel bad about it. I go out on my date and have a really nice time, but when I am driving home from the date, I just feel insanely guilty. I just wish it would go away.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Ex broke up with me over two months ago after 1.5 years. Ex Did not respond to the two text messages I sent over the two month period we have been broken up. No other communication. I believe he blocked my number.

 

I recently installed surveillance cameras outside my house after we broke up. I was viewing the surveillance footage recently and saw my ex drive up to my house and turned into my driveway. Then he reverse his car and drove off. This was 1:45 in the morning. I live in a neighborhood.

 

Why would someone who blocked me from all communications, walked away from our relationship so easily drive by house? I am trying to move on and this is not helping.

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Its my opinion your Ex was probably not fully invested from the start.

 

 

It was probably when things reached the point of you talking bigger plans, that the cracks appeared.

 

 

No one breaks up because of one fight, unless the words are extremely insulting.

 

 

So yeah, its not due to the fight.

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Ex broke up with me over two months ago after 1.5 years. Ex Did not respond to the two text messages I sent over the two month period we have been broken up. No other communication. I believe he blocked my number.

 

I recently installed surveillance cameras outside my house after we broke up. I was viewing the surveillance footage recently and saw my ex drive up to my house and turned into my driveway. Then he reverse his car and drove off. This was 1:45 in the morning. I live in a neighborhood.

 

Why would someone who blocked me from all communications, walked away from our relationship so easily drive by house? I am trying to move on and this is not helping.

 

It really doesn't matter though it's odd. It's been two months and you have not heard from him. I certainly would not contact him again. The fact that he acted the way he did and ended so quickly should tell you he's not right for you anyway.

 

Keep doing what you're doing. Date and let time pass as it will help you stop worrying about that past relationship.

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