She says she is and it is to soon.

[mrfelt1]

A girl I have known for a while, just broke it off with me after 2 months of dating. I have known her for 8 months. A little back story. I met her on POF about 2 years ago, talked to her and found out we went to the same church. She noticed me from there. I talked over POF but never went further because I realized I wasn't ready for a relationship. I totally blew her off. About 9 months ago, we ran into each other again. We started talking and she was dating someone so I only would talk to her if I ran into at the coffee shop or at church. We started to get to know each other a little more and then she started to sit with me at church. Her and her ex broke up ( She broke up with him and said it was a long time coming and she should have done it sooner) end of June, so I did the nice thing ( plus I wanted to get to know her better because I liked her), I invited her to a friend's house for the 4th of July. She texted me the next day asking if I still want company, so she came. I was not going to rush anything. The next week I invited her to go SUP and then we decided to have drinks and that is where we got a little tipsy and she admitted to me that she liked me and liked me during last relationship and thought I did not like her. I told her I did like her but I was not going to tell her while she was in a relationship. We continued to talk with her texting me all the time and seeing each other once a week. On our third time seeing each other, she asked me to be patient. I understood. I did not push the issue. I invited her out and if she could not make it I did not ask again. Fast forward to this Sunday, she breaks it off with me stating she needs to work on herself, and doesn't want to ruin what we have. She is confused and by breaking up with me the relationship may be salvageable later, if we decide to again. She states she does not know if she is running because she is afraid it may be to good, if she is not ready to commit, or that we just won't work out. Mind you, we had this convo at a bar, and she started crying. She then is super affectionate towards me, holding my hand, grasping my arm. She even texts me that she is frustrated with herself and just wishes she kept her mouth shut.

[Toodaloo]

Sounds to me as though she didn't give herself enough time to heal from the last guy.

 

Relax and go do your own thing for a bit.

 

This is all too much drama and stress.

[heydad75]

Sorry to hear about this. It sounds like you really like this girl and this break up really hurt you. However some of the questions I would ask:

 

What are you looking for in this relationship? Are you dating her with an intent to marry her? Is this something that has crossed your mind?

 

Is she going through some things after her last relationship? It might help to ask her about it.

 

You mentioned that you go to church. Have any conversations been started about relationships in church. I have attended a few bible studies and groups that have really helped in understanding each other in relationships and what role God plays in our relationships as believers.

 

Hope to find out how it goes.

 

Sincerely,

 

Heydad75

[mrfelt1]

Heydad75, she does know I am dating for marriage. We have had talks about what it means to date someone. She knows my post relationships. My church had a whole series on the topic. Good is very important for both of us. That was one of the big problems in her past relationships. She says she needs to work on herself, but I don't get it. You broke it off with the guy and tell me that will never get back with him and admit to me that one of the reasons she knew it was not right with her boyfriend is because she would get excited to see me on Sundays ( she had no idea I liked her) she even would talk to her mom about me. I didn't push anything. If she had plans cool. She did 80% of text initiating and we saw each other at the most once a week.