Jadedbyluv Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I briefly posted about this the other day. I have had an on and off relationship with my ex for about a year and a half. We still talk about every day and hang out maybe once a week. And our relationship is still pretty physical. The issue is he can't or won't commit. He gets all the benefits of being in a relationship without actually having to make any commitment. That being said, I have been dating. I finally met someone who I am into. We have been hanging out pretty frequently, and I see potential. I think it is time for me to cut back on hanging out with my ex and definitely sleeping with him. Normally, I wouldn't tell an ex that I met someone else but with the nature of our relationship, I feel it's the right thing to do. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to just stop talking to him or ignoring him. Just looking for the right way to go about it and being respectful about it. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Loveastrophe Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I would advise the truth. No lie lives forever and he is going to find out eventually anyway. Spare him the deception and be completely honest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RocketQueen Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 Yeah, I agree. Just simply tell him you've met someone and think it could work out with him. Its HIM who hasn't committed to you for whatever reason so you're not doing anything wrong by giving yourself a chance at a fully committed relationship. Telling him will either naturally create space or shock him into making some kind of declaration of commitment but I would be wary its not just a knee jerk reaction from your ex. I wish you happiness xxx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 What does your new bf think about you remaining friends with an ex who became an FWB? If you haven't told him yet, how do you think he would react if he were to find out? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jadedbyluv Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 So I told my ex. He did not take it well at all and tried to make me feel guilty. I remember him saying once after one of our "off" periods, he said I guess if you met someone else then it would have been my loss. If he was ever really afraid of losing me, he should have tried a bit harder. Don't think his reaction is totally fair considering he couldn't commit. He texted me not long ago and said that he hopes that I get the Facebook status change I've been wanting. Which isn't what I want at all. I want something meaningful and real. I want someone to experience life with. He just doesn't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Yeah, but at this point, it's your fault for even enabling his crappy, selfish behavior. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jadedbyluv Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 Yeah, but at this point, it's your fault for even enabling his crappy, selfish behavior. You're absolutely right. I stayed way too long to only get crumbs from him. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 (edited) Of course he's upset. He's had a pretty sweet deal going over these past several months. He's watching as it (possibly) slips through his fingers! So what about the new guy? Are you going to tell him when you're spending time with the ex fwb? I would suggest that if you are serious about wanting a real and meaningful relationship you would do much better by not just merely "cutting back" on spending time with the ex...you'd cut him off entirely. I think it's safe to say that most who are up for "real and meaningful" would not be cool with dating someone who won't cut ties to their past. I'd say that no one who is really serious about finding that meaningful relationship would keep their fwb on the side to hang out with from time to time while dating someone who they think is a good fit...but, I can't even imagine that if you mean what you say, you would even consider carrying on any kind of relationship with this ex, new guy in the picture or not. You are preoccupied with someone who is the complete opposite of what you say you want. You are not only physically, but emotionally tied to this man; he needs to go if you are serious about finding something genuine. I'm just saying, if I met a guy who I found out was casually sexing his ex, yet claimed to want something real and meaningful he would get the side eye...:confused: To top it off, he tells me he's still gonna hang out with her from time to time, the sex has stopped though. Yeah - springy has left the building. Hopefully you will cut ties entirely so you can truly be emotionally free to connect with the right guy. Edited August 25, 2016 by springy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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