na49 Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 So it's been a year plus since my ex left me for the second time to be with her friend's brother. I was crushed, and lived on this website. I still think about it occasionally, but I'm doing much better. I just graduated from college, and my brother helped me get a job in a field I'm interested in. Pay isn't great, but it's a start. I've met a lot of cool people, and one girl was interested in me, but I wasn't so nothing happened. I've accepted my situation for what it is, and I don't really want my ex back at all. It won't work for a lot of reasons, so I've blocked her everywhere. EVERYWHERE. (or so I thought) This didn't stop her from messaging me though. I have the Facebook Messenger app on my phone, and I had 4 notifications from convos I hadn't seen. I thought I checked all of them and closed the app but saw one more. She sent me a chat request on the app. I blocked her on Facebook, so I have no idea how she did this. She doesn't want me back or anything, she said something like "I don't mean to bother you, but I wanted to congratulate you on your graduation. I saw you walk because I was playing in the band. I know you don't see me as friend material, but I wanted to know if we could chat and catch up" I know the move is to ignore, but I figured I'd ask anyway. My ex has been at it for a long time (about a year+) and ignoring doesn't seem to work. She just pops in at random times even though I've blocked her everywhere. I don't think she means any harm by sending this, but I am really doing fine without her in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 You could always respond and ask her politely to stop contacting you. She will get it... Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 I doubt that it has escaped her attention that she has been blocked by you. So I think we can only assume that she doesn't have enough respect for you to respect your wishes and leave you alone, or she thinks she's so charming that she can worm her way back in anytime she chooses. I think it would be a real mistake to have any kind of conversation with her. I would personally ignore her message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 I doubt that it has escaped her attention that she has been blocked by you. So I think we can only assume that she doesn't have enough respect for you to respect your wishes and leave you alone, or she thinks she's so charming that she can worm her way back in anytime she chooses. I think it would be a real mistake to have any kind of conversation with her. I would personally ignore her message. I wasn't able to edit my message, but she made a fake account. It had a profile picture, so I was confused. It's actually the second fake account she's made since our breakup. She made one before, and made me think she wanted me back before giving me the "let's just be friends for now" speech. I'm pretty torn because it doesn't look like this will stop, but at the same time, responding will make me feel like sh*t. I don't even know if it will make her stop because after our first breakup, I texted her something like "we have nothing to talk about, leave me alone" and blocked her number. A few months later she texted me and we ended up getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 breadcrumbs. don't bite at all. you're doing well with yourself. Don't let this person mess with your path to self-improvement. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 I wasn't able to edit my message, but she made a fake account. It had a profile picture, so I was confused. It's actually the second fake account she's made since our breakup. She made one before, and made me think she wanted me back before giving me the "let's just be friends for now" speech. I'm pretty torn because it doesn't look like this will stop, but at the same time, responding will make me feel like sh*t. I don't even know if it will make her stop because after our first breakup, I texted her something like "we have nothing to talk about, leave me alone" and blocked her number. A few months later she texted me and we ended up getting back together. There's just too much water under the bridge for this relationship to work out, so talking to her is pointless. Her creating fake accounts in order to bypass you blocking her is very disturbing. If I were you, I'd ignore her messages and block each new account she creates. She'll eventually get bored with it because she's getting no pay-off from contacting you. This girl has problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 (edited) I texted her something like "we have nothing to talk about, leave me alone" and blocked her number. A few months later she texted me and we ended up getting back together. Well, you've set the precedent here. It worked then, so she's trying it again. If I were you I'd tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in keeping in contact or ever talking to her again. And then ignore and block every future contact she sends you. Edited May 25, 2016 by PegNosePete Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 I honestly wish she'd just leave me alone already. This isn't affecting me like it would have last year, but it still gets to me somewhat. I think I'll just ignore it. I'm sure she's changed a lot since our breakup, but from what I knew about her, sometimes she had a hard time with "No", so if I responded, I'm sure she'd go back and forth with me about it. I have a lot to look forward to this summer, I'll just try focusing on that. Link to post Share on other sites
keiji Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 My ex-wife sent a happy birthday message a couple of years ago, including some kind of emotional text saying how much she cared for me, blah, blah, blah. I told her to f*** off without even blinking. She got it. It's easy if you really want to get rid of her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 Silence speaks volumes. You've come too far to turn back now. Shes old news and its really disrespectful for her to not allow you to move on. She admits she knows you dont see her as friend material. This means she knowd she isnt deserving of your friendship. You can also say "this is the 4th time youve reached out to me, and I've tried to be polite but now I am asking you point blank to please move on with your life, I really dont want friendship or to be contacted again period and I need you to respect that" Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted May 25, 2016 Author Share Posted May 25, 2016 I've told her multiple times I wasn't ready for friendship, but every few months she still pops in asking me to "catch up". If I change my mind, and am comfortable enough, I'd let her know. I'm really not though, this is just added drama/time spent on something I thought was over a long time ago. What's more frustrating is she's dated multiple guys since me. As far as I know, she's got a boyfriend now which makes this even worse. I'm honestly surprised she made a second fake account.. Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 na49, it sounds like you're doing great. It sounds like she continues to have an attachment towards you, and maybe some unfinished business, and it's hard for her to let go completely. You've made it clear to her several times that you aren't ready for friendship, and it's great that you've made that clear. It seems hard for her, but now is her time to try to heal from not having the friendship that she seems to want. Continue to focus on yourself and it will get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 I am not ready for friendship OR I don't WANT friendship are two very different statements. Im not ready suggests at some point you will be and thats why she feels the door is open. If you are sure you are now ready to be 100% out of her life and vice versa...you have to say so in no uncertain terms. I too am one who has a hard time letting go but the friendship route was too painful and I will never stop hurting that we couldnt stay in eachothers lives. But to not hurt him, nor myself, I will keep my distance forever with no exceptions because sadly its healthier that way. You seem to waiver a little so you gotta decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 I've told her multiple times I wasn't ready for friendship, but every few months she still pops in asking me to "catch up". If I change my mind, and am comfortable enough, I'd let her know. I'm really not though, this is just added drama/time spent on something I thought was over a long time ago. That's because she does not have any respect and consideration for you. Contact is solely about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 25, 2016 Share Posted May 25, 2016 You know the answer to this question. This isn't your first rodeo. Ignore and keep trucking. Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 (edited) My ex-wife sent a happy birthday message a couple of years ago, including some kind of emotional text saying how much she cared for me, blah, blah, blah. I told her to f*** off without even blinking. She got it. It's easy if you really want to get rid of her. I did the same thing to someone who came back in my life after we dated back in late 2012. She was the reason I actually got on this site. I moved on i started hooking up with her again in 2014 for a bit. I had fully moved on by then. Saw she started acting hot and cold again like when we first dated. She would break things off then message me after couple months even after ignoring her. Last time she did this was for new years eve ( I hadn't heard from her in months) and I told her straight up..... go f*** yourself and blocked her on my phone as well. It was the best feeling and release I've had via text. Either dont reply or straight up reply to her just that OP. Life is too short. We don't have time for cheaters and girls that have no backbone. I would never forgive an ex if she left me for another man, let alone friends brother..thus I'd have no problem sending her the f off text. Edited May 26, 2016 by NoLeafClover 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 I've told her multiple times I wasn't ready for friendship, but every few months she still pops in asking me to "catch up". This is why I advised you to tell her in no uncertain terms that you do not want any further contact with her ever again. It seems you didn't tell her this yet. You just told her that you aren't ready for friendship yet, implying that you will be at some point in the future. She is just testing the water to see if that time has arrived yet. And she will continue to do so. If you were to tell her that you don't want any more contact, it would not lead to any "back and forth". She might reply, but you would have told her in no uncertain terms that all future contact from her will be ignored and that you will not be replying to her ever again. So whatever she replies, ignore it. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 I honestly wish she'd just leave me alone already. This isn't affecting me like it would have last year, but it still gets to me somewhat. I think I'll just ignore it. I'm sure she's changed a lot since our breakup, but from what I knew about her, sometimes she had a hard time with "No", so if I responded, I'm sure she'd go back and forth with me about it. I have a lot to look forward to this summer, I'll just try focusing on that. I don't think she has changed at all because she continues to ignore the fact that she has been blocked by you. Obviously she still has a hard time with "no". This girl, in general, has no character and no respect for others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Just tell her to F off and quit stalking you with fake accounts. Then block and do not respond to anything else she send you... ever. She is a real pain in the butt isn't she... Link to post Share on other sites
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