On again, Off again. MAKE UP UR MIND!

[babyhuqz_6t9]

Hey, my names Sky, I'm 16 years old. Me and my Ex Micheal met last summer we hit it off almost imidiantly,(HAPPIEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE) He was like "A DREAM COME TRUE" to me, and everything I ever wanted in guy, He became like my best friend. But little did I know he would have such a huge impact on my life.

 

We started "DATING" on July 27th 2004, our relationship ended on October 3rd 2004.

 

I was completely devastated, feeling betrayed, alone, and deceived by the only person I actually loved and trusted. I guess you could say I just didn't think it would end so quickly after all *WE* shared.

 

There were a lot of "FIRSTS" with Micheal for me. For instance, I gave him my virginity, he was just about my first everything, besides kissing. Lol, so the fact that it was over and that was it, was really devastating for me..

 

 

I must admit at the ending of the relationship about 3 weeks before that, I was feeling very insecure, unwanted, and pushed away by him so I tried to hold on tighter. Which evidently was my down fall in this story. I wouldn't let him "Hang out with the boys" I was very insecure, but at the same time he was giving me feelings to be insecure. (I found out later that 2 weeks before that he was trying to give me the hint that he didn't want to be with me anymore)

 

About 2 weeks later, as I was trying to cope with the reality that "He didn't love me anymore, were not together anymore, be strong!"

 

I found out He was "Seeing" his Ex of two years(by "seeing" I mean having "SEX" with her), "who he had lost he's virginity to, who had left him for another guy" (Typical, do guys always choose the girls who treat them like crap?)

 

Later on I saw something I've never seen in micheal before, a mean, evil, hateful, cruel side of him..

 

At first, he was kind to me.. Tried to comfort me when I would go to see him, I confronted him about his ex of 2 years (really it was none of my business, but it hurt) I'd barely get two words out and start to choke on my words and cry, He would hug me like he still cared, I knew he still loved me. But that wasn't enough I needed to know he still wanted me. I was too proud to go crawling back to him, when he was the one who left me, I felt unwanted so I stayed that way.

 

So I waited for the opratunity to arise, It seemed like it never would. just 3 new girlfriends over the period 3 months and a visit to the hospital for me O.D-ing over the stress of it all. The pain I felt it never got better, only worse. We fought a lot, He didn't help at all, the comments he made towards me were very cruel, abusive almost.. emotionally I was tramatized, I never new someone I loved could be so cruel towards me. It's like it brought joy to see me cry.

 

So I decided it was time to move on and I got a new boyfriend, even though it hurt like hell. I tried to stay away from him for awhile, a month to be exact. It didn't seem like he cared anymore at all.

 

But when he found out I had a new boyfriend he was all of a sudden apologetic, and feeling sympathy for me and all the crap he put me through, left messages on my machine, and trying to get in touch with me. He hooked up with me again, he left one of his current girlfriends for me, the relationship lasted about a day. I got really nervous, and scared and dumped him. I just don't trust him the same way anymore.

 

After that he went back to the same girl, I started dating someone else again, I got really drunk, he kissed me.. out of no were, and we starting dating again. This time it lasted about 2 weeks. Everything was great the first couple of days, It felt great to feel him kiss me again, tell me he loved me.

 

But complications with my dad and his mom, they didn't want us seeing each other so we had no place to go to except for my best friends house and his best friends house. He told his friend David one night that he "Couldn't love me as much as he loves ____" I found out wrote him a long letter of why I was breaking up with him, and how I would always have a place for him in my heart but I want to be alone.

 

 

I have a theory, "If you love someone, let them go, if there not happy with you.. let them be happy with someone else, why waste my time if I love you more then you love me, let me find someone I can be happy with" I cried that night for several hours, I felt the same rejection as last time, and the time before that.

 

 

Anyways, I still see him every single day, since him and my best friend are really close(HOW CONVENT ). I do miss him a lot, although he put me though a lot of pain, suffering, seeing him with other girls, etc. etc. He now has a new girlfriend.

 

Tammy.. she treats him like ****, and he crys over her in front of me. It makes me feel like crap and angry because The way he cares about her, he never cared about me that way, never cried, sat there and talked about me in front of my friend about how much he loved me and how could I do this to him. He tells my friends he always picks the wrong girls. My friends tell him you had the right girl, but you refuse to see it and make her cry. He doesn't say anything just looks down and stares..

 

I guess my question is, Why am I not good enough for him? why can't he not love me as much as these other girls? How do I finally get over him? I see him every single day.. sometimes he makes me happy.. sometimes he makes me sad. I have this like obsession with him being obsessed over me. I feel like crap, can somebody please help me.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by babyhuqz_6t9

I guess my question is, Why am I not good enough for him? why can't he not love me as much as these other girls? How do I finally get over him? I see him every single day.. sometimes he makes me happy.. sometimes he makes me sad. I have this like obsession with him being obsessed over me. I feel like crap, can somebody please help me.

 

Sky, I can tell you that you are young and don't know what love is. I could talk on and on and on, about all that, but it would not console you. But I won't.

 

To answer your question boys of the age of 16, rarely do know what they want. Most of them are interested in girls, because of sex. They are not mature enough to handle the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship.

 

You were not too bad for him, or anything like that. He just does not know what he wants. And I really doubt he really loves these girls. Sure some parts of him do love them, as some part of him does love you. But "some" is not good enough for a solid relationship. If he really loved them, he would not have had 3 girlfriends in 3 months time would he? The only common thing in these 3 relationships is Michael himself.

 

To get over Michael, you'd better forget about him, and focus on yourself. I know it sounds easy. But think of school, think of your interests. Just try to avoid Michael (and Tammy) as much as possible now, so you won't think about him at all. Try not to get more involved than the regular "hi's and byes." There are tons of reasons why you should be glad for being you.

 

Of course you are obsessed over him. You have had a very rocky relationship with Michael, and he was your first in so many different ways. The intimacy you shared with him, is like what you have not shared before with anyone. So of course that makes him special to you. And somehow he will always remain special to you.

But as the song goes, there will be another lover, to the end. You are still young, and don't let yourself be dicouraged by him. He did not know what he had.

 

When you wrote: "If you love someone, let them go, if there not happy with you.. let them be happy with someone else, why waste my time if I love you more then you love me, let me find someone I can be happy with", you gave words to an important lesson concerning love. At 16 years of age! It proves you learn from your relationships, and the mistakes the both of you made. You are never too young to learn of your mistakes.

 

Move on, and you will find a guy, maybe not today or tomorrow, who can handle the responsibility of a relationship, and who wants to be with you, and only you, in a relationship.