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My ex suddenly contacted me after 7 months of no contact, what do I do!?


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SoulSurfer94

My ex broke up with me and it ended horribly, I explained in a previous thread and I will include the link at the bottom of this post.

 

Long story short, she left me for another guy and moved him into our flat a couple weeks after. For 2 months I was forced to live with them, and of course hearing them have sex as my room was next door. She told some evil lies about me which could have threatened my career in law, the allegations simply are not true. It was a living hell as you can imagine.

 

She moved out eventually and I have maintained strict no contact for 7 months. I deleted everything, blocked her in every single way and threw away everything from our relationship. The last time I heard her voice (7 months ago), she called me , more lies and I plainly told her 'never, under any circumstances contact me again'.

 

Since then she tried contacting my friends and family, nobody responded.

 

I have just received a text, from her, which confuses me because she has obviously kept my number all this time, why would she do that?

 

The text was trivial, all she said was she hopes all is well and there is a new guy moving into her old room (even though I don't live there anymore) and that reception found my old watch. Thing is, she had no reason to contact me at all, the land lady would have done it for her.

 

It's not the content of the message that confuses me it's why she bothered to contact me at all after the hell she put me through.

 

This was my first ever relationship, therefore first ever break up so I really don't know what to do, right now I am not responding, but there is that part of me that wants to pull the thread to see what's going on, but I also think that's a bad idea.

 

Extremely mixed up right now, trying to focus on my studies and she pops up out of nowhere! Need advice as I am very under experienced with relationships, as I said, she's the only one I've ever had.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/572768-girl-i-loved-had-total-180-degree-personality-change-how-cope

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I should stay NC.

As some people over here say: only if she/he comes back on her knees, begging for a second chance, you can give it.

 

Otherwise it is only breadcrumbs.

She is probably just curious and she hopes that you did not heal completely from her.

 

What she has done to you is horrible and unforgiveable. You have to be amazing to stay 'normal' when you hear your ex in your house having sex with another. I think some people should do a serious crime to actually stop them.

 

Stay NC buddy, she has mental problems.

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SoulSurfer94

Yeah I suppose you're right, she's not existed to me for 7 months so it's quite jarring for her to pop up again, we were together for 2 years so it feels very strange.

 

I wasn't normal for a while but you'd be surprised what the mind can endure and return to normal again.

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Do not respond. She's checking to see if she still has control in the relationship.

 

She's not really wishing you well. She's keeping you strung along in case her new relationship doesn't work out.

 

Block her number. And keep going with your NC.

 

Remember how you felt the day you started NC? Like your heart was being ripped into a thousand pieces? Yeah it will feel that way again if you break NC.

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SoulSurfer94

 

Remember how you felt the day you started NC? Like your heart was being ripped into a thousand pieces? Yeah it will feel that way again if you break NC.

 

Yeah it was so painful to think I'm never going to hear her voice or see her smile again, this is an excellent way of looking at it thank you.

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Give her the silence she deserves. Be strong bro!

 

Remain SILENCE. Don't entertain this person who left you for someone else. Believe me SILENCE is the loudest action a person could hear.

 

You've survived 7 months without talking to her. You'll be alright. Don't entertain or analyze. It no longer matters.

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Yeah it was so painful to think I'm never going to hear her voice or see her smile again, this is an excellent way of looking at it thank you.

 

Dude, really?!?!? You dated her for two years! And she move the guy in while you're still there?!?! She had NO regard for your feelings as she's banging this guy in the next room KNOWING you can hear?!?!

 

She had no respect for you or your feelings. How was her voice and her smile the next morning after you had a night full of listening to her have sex?

 

Dude, you owe her NOTHING! xxxxxx

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Dude, really?!?!? You dated her for two years! And she move the guy in while you're still there?!?! She had NO regard for your feelings as she's banging this guy in the next room KNOWING you can hear?!?!

 

She had no respect for you or your feelings. How was her voice and her smile the next morning after you had a night full of listening to her have sex?

 

Dude, you owe her NOTHING! xxxxxx

 

Exactly what Chi said. Also she didn't respect you or your wishes when you said to her to not contact you under any circumstance. This girl's a selfish ***** who only thinks about herself.

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She moved her new bf into the same apartment and was banging him while you still lived there! That is another level of disrespect. Just off the charts. MAINTAIN NO CONTACT FOREVER. She has some nerve to reach out after 7 months and bait you for a response most probably to assure herself that she still has a hold on you. Silence is your best response.

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She has some nerve. I think she sent out a "feeler." A benign communication to see where she stands with you. I certainly would not respond, and I would block her number ASAP. She is trying to pretend that all is well, which it isn't. She's minimizing what she did. She's probably very curious about what you are doing.

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Goodness! After all she did you're still questioning and fretting over her contact? You should be done with this clown and feeling all sorts of yuck for this woman. That sort of disrespect and you're still confused and not sure if you should respond?!?

 

She's stopping by to see if you're still on her hook. Move on. Delete the text and block her.

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SoulSurfer94

Thanks all, I have deleted the message, this way I can't contact her because the number is gone. Hopefully this is the last I've heard from this crazy girl, but I said that 7 months ago! I'll block the number.

 

Like I said this is my first ever break up and i'm 21, so thanks for the advice, she's nuts.

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SoulSurfer94
She moved her new bf into the same apartment and was banging him while you still lived there! That is another level of disrespect. Just off the charts. MAINTAIN NO CONTACT FOREVER. She has some nerve to reach out after 7 months and bait you for a response most probably to assure herself that she still has a hold on you. Silence is your best response.

 

Yeah she turned pure evil, she loved seeing me suffer, don't know why or what I did because she's the one who left me!

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lolablue17

ברשעותSometimes we torturer ourselves, trying to find reasons for other people evil behavior. The best way is to just accept that. Accept that people can change 180, or just act wickedly.

 

Why? You don't busy yourself why is it raining today, why is this mountain exist and makes the road longer, and why is there an earthquake. The same way, you shouldn't be interested in why is her personality is so ugly. It's a force of nature and you just should know how to avoid yourself from being involved in that kind of phenomenons.

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The_Dork_Lard
Yeah she turned pure evil, she loved seeing me suffer, don't know why or what I did because she's the one who left me!

 

Yeah, it's amazing when they do this, and unfortunately there are too many people like her.

 

I'll tell you my story as briefly as I can, and hopefully it shall give you something to compare yours with.

 

This time last year I was working overtime shifts every week for 2 months. I did this to give my ex (of 6 1/2 years) a 40th birthday weekend away. I did much research on restaurants, good hotels, and all the driving, entertaining etc,... everything. I even made personal presents to give her after midnight, and all that. Anyway, my libido was quite low that weekend (it's up and down, like most people's), so we didn't really have much sex, and she seemed to take this very personally, like she had for the entire 6 1/2 years. She never gave me a break over my varying libido. She expected me to be a stallion all the time.

 

Once we were back home she let rip and told me she had a horrible time, that her attraction towards me had turned off as if a switch had been flicked in her mind, and that we were finished. I was so stunned I couldn't even think of a reply, so I didn't. In fact I became so upset I decided to initiate no contact from that point on. She spent the next 2 months texting me crap about being in bed with other men and other stuff too vulgar to repeat here. Even after 5 months I STILL got the occasional text calling me names. All of it went unanswered.

 

I couldn't believe how a once loving partner could suddenly switch like that, and like you ,she seemed to delight in trying to hurt me. I'm really at a loss to explain how one human being can treat another that way.

 

Stay no contact for your own sanity. I made the HUGE mistake on contacting my ex after 6 months... it wasn't a good experience, and despite it being 3 months ago, I'm still not over doing that.

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SoulSurfer94
Yeah, it's amazing when they do this, and unfortunately there are too many people like her.

 

I'll tell you my story as briefly as I can, and hopefully it shall give you something to compare yours with.

 

This time last year I was working overtime shifts every week for 2 months. I did this to give my ex (of 6 1/2 years) a 40th birthday weekend away. I did much research on restaurants, good hotels, and all the driving, entertaining etc,... everything. I even made personal presents to give her after midnight, and all that. Anyway, my libido was quite low that weekend (it's up and down, like most people's), so we didn't really have much sex, and she seemed to take this very personally, like she had for the entire 6 1/2 years. She never gave me a break over my varying libido. She expected me to be a stallion all the time.

 

Once we were back home she let rip and told me she had a horrible time, that her attraction towards me had turned off as if a switch had been flicked in her mind, and that we were finished. I was so stunned I couldn't even think of a reply, so I didn't. In fact I became so upset I decided to initiate no contact from that point on. She spent the next 2 months texting me crap about being in bed with other men and other stuff too vulgar to repeat here. Even after 5 months I STILL got the occasional text calling me names. All of it went unanswered.

 

I couldn't believe how a once loving partner could suddenly switch like that, and like you ,she seemed to delight in trying to hurt me. I'm really at a loss to explain how one human being can treat another that way.

 

Stay no contact for your own sanity. I made the HUGE mistake on contacting my ex after 6 months... it wasn't a good experience, and despite it being 3 months ago, I'm still not over doing that.

 

I am so sorry this happened to you mate, I guess some people are so thick skinned that they have no problem torturing other people. I don't know how our exes can sleep at night knowing what they did to us.

You made the mistake of contacting her like you said, but because of that I won't do the same so your suffering was not in vain my friend.

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SoulSurfer94
ברשעותSometimes we torturer ourselves, trying to find reasons for other people evil behavior. The best way is to just accept that. Accept that people can change 180, or just act wickedly.

 

Why? You don't busy yourself why is it raining today, why is this mountain exist and makes the road longer, and why is there an earthquake. The same way, you shouldn't be interested in why is her personality is so ugly. It's a force of nature and you just should know how to avoid yourself from being involved in that kind of phenomenons.

 

I forgot to quote you in my previous comment, but yeah this is a very profound way of looking at it thanks so much

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My ex broke up with me and it ended horribly, I explained in a previous thread and I will include the link at the bottom of this post.

 

Long story short, she left me for another guy and moved him into our flat a couple weeks after. For 2 months I was forced to live with them, and of course hearing them have sex as my room was next door. She told some evil lies about me which could have threatened my career in law, the allegations simply are not true. It was a living hell as you can imagine.

 

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/572768-girl-i-loved-had-total-180-degree-personality-change-how-cope

 

 

omgawd, im so sorry you had to deal with that, living in the same place with them and hearing them doing it. ****.

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I am thinking that it might be best to not pull that thread my friend. You need to protect your heart and leave the past where it is. Move forward.

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Come on.....just move on. Can't you see that she doesn't respect you at all? Respect is one of the most important things to make a relationship work, and this woman doesn't have any for you.

 

She's going to mess with your mind and play the push pull game just for her selfish attention craving needs, but she doesn't give a crap about you. If you take her back she's going to respect you even less and probably end up banging two guys at once and tell you about it just to hurt you.

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