jackmastadon Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 OK My girl has a lot of guy friends. One of whom texts her all the time. sometimes I can't get her to listen to what i say. Ive heard him talk some real nasty junk in person. While she was there. She says the issue is with me,She says, I have trust issues, that I'm insecure. I still don't like it. She won't stop. Even if I leave her. I am about to do that. But, she says I am crazy and wrong for it. What do you think? what do you think about this matter in particular? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 What we think actually doesn't matter. What matters is what you think, and if you think it's unacceptable, then put your money where your mouth is, and dump her. In your shoes, that's exactly what I would do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 you can have a lot of guy friends as long as you rbf comes first and his feelings and thoughts are in your heart at all times......and it isnt like that with your girl it seems...not even a try at compromising....you know what to do...you dont need justification from anyone on here.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Look man, you keep whining to her, begging her to stop talking to this guy, she throws it back in your face saying the problem is yours and she's not going to stop then you complain about it again, she's going to start tuning you out, eventually the little respect for you will go as well and she'll either break up with you or cheat and just naturally drift out of your life...all the while while you're still begging and pleading with her to stop. Again nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, but literally texting non stop like whatever conversation they have is more important than you..that he's more important than you is just disrespectful, and she's told you to your face she's not going to stop. So you either keep pleading or you stop being disrespected and tell her where to go. It's very simple really. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Next time she's texting another guy in your presence, leave without comment. See if she notices. If not, keep walking. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Dump her. Not worth the heart ache 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 OK My girl has a lot of guy friends. One of whom texts her all the time. sometimes I can't get her to listen to what i say. Ive heard him talk some real nasty junk in person. While she was there. She says the issue is with me,She says, I have trust issues, that I'm insecure. I still don't like it. She won't stop. Even if I leave her. I am about to do that. But, she says I am crazy and wrong for it. What do you think? what do you think about this matter in particular? She is gaslighting you saying you are crazy. Trying to make you beleuve it. It's from Chapter 1 of the Cheaters Handbook. she needs teh attention and validation of guys that are not you. It does not take a wizard to point this out, but that is exactly what is taking place. Pretty soon with summer coming she'll meet up with him when you aren't around maybe to show him her tan lines. Don't be that guy that has to hear about it from one of your friends who spots them or finds out when she leaves her phone unattended....hint hint. lol Get rid of her now so you won't feel the need to go through her phone...hint hint...lol. P.S. If you are determined to find out for yourself, then toss any of my advice aside and simply go through her phone. If she is that adamant you are crazy she is too stupid to have deleted much if anything. One or the other, kid. Dump or snoop and then dump. lol 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 I don't think she's the girl for you... she doesn't care what you think and her guy friend captivates her attention when she's with you. Why waste another day in a relationship with her.... just be done and move on. She's not worth it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 We all know guy friends are not friends at all....they are orbiters waiting for their chance with her. When you go into a relationship, you adjust your relationships with the opposite sex and set different boundaries out of respect for your partner....it's the appropriate thing to do....she didn't do it, doesn't want to do it...it's game over. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Listen buddy. You sound pretty YOUNG. One of the problems in this "hook up" generation where anything goes is that young people have trouble when they get involved in what is supposed to be an "excluding"relationship in understanding that some of the rules of their behavior have to change. Now either your girlfriend is either banging this guy behind your back or she will, and she really does not care what you think about it. Unless she is a dummy, she has to know that what she is doing with this one guy is crossing some boundaries. And like someone told you, one of the first things that cheaters do when confronted is try to make the other person out to be a crazy jealous control freak, which you are NOT. So if you are smart, you will quickly make her your EX girlfriend Andy find one who gives a **** about you. Send her packing . You can do better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hughes101 Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) OK My girl has a lot of guy friends. One of whom texts her all the time. sometimes I can't get her to listen to what i say. Ive heard him talk some real nasty junk in person. While she was there. She says the issue is with me,She says, I have trust issues, that I'm insecure. I still don't like it. She won't stop. Even if I leave her. I am about to do that. But, she says I am crazy and wrong for it. What do you think? what do you think about this matter in particular? Dude this is a classic and we've all been there (although she sounds more disrespectful than most). You know you should leave her so just do it. At your age (i assume you're 18-23, trying to find a monogamous relationship will be a joke. Get a grip and next her. No contact. Block from Facebook and watsapp.. then you can focus on you! Start lifting, meet new people, improve yourself then a better quality of wonen will come your way. You don't need this kind of attention [seeker] in your life it can't end well for you. Edited May 3, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Having opposite sex friends is not the problem. Texting somebody while ignoring the person in front of you is rude. If this guy friend says "nasty stuff" as you put it but your GF doesn't shut it down, she is welcoming the conduct & the attention. If you have a problem with it & she doesn't respect your view point but tries to turn it around on you, you need to walk. I have lots of guy friends. None of them speak to me disrespectfully & when I first brought my now husband around, back when he was my new BF, all the guys were deferential to him (other then the occasional you hurt her threats.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted May 3, 2016 Author Share Posted May 3, 2016 (edited) *************************** i ended it. i felt free at first. now I can't even think straight. i Don't even want to be conscious. Edited May 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 She's gaslighting you, trying to make you the problem when it's her. Typical narcissists. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunking101 Posted May 4, 2016 Share Posted May 4, 2016 She's gaslighting you, trying to make you the problem when it's her. Typical narcissists. The trouble is, they give a distorted version of events to friends & family who then back them up with all the "insecure/jealous/paranoid/needy" BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted May 4, 2016 Author Share Posted May 4, 2016 Why is she doing that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted May 5, 2016 Author Share Posted May 5, 2016 Lots of guy friends OK My girl has a lot of guy friends. One of whom texts her all the time. sometimes I can't get her to listen to what i say. Ive heard him talk some real nasty junk in person. While she was there. She says the issue is with me,She says, I have trust issues, that I'm insecure. I still don't like it. She won't stop. Even if I leave her. I am about to do that. But, she says I am crazy and wrong for it. What do you think? what do you think about this matter in particular? *************************** i ended it. i felt free at first. now I can't even think straight. i Don't even want to be conscious. Why did she do that? We were together nearly a year. All I can think of is what good we had. I don't know if I can find anyone else. I prayed hard for this. Now it is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jackmastadon Posted May 5, 2016 Author Share Posted May 5, 2016 broke up: Lots of guy friends OK My girl has a lot of guy friends. One of whom texts her all the time. sometimes I can't get her to listen to what i say. Ive heard him talk some real nasty junk in person. While she was there. She says the issue is with me,She says, I have trust issues, that I'm insecure. I still don't like it. She won't stop. Even if I leave her. I am about to do that. But, she says I am crazy and wrong for it. What do you think? what do you think about this matter in particular? *************************** i ended it. i felt free at first. now I can't even think straight. i Don't even want to be conscious. Why did she do that? We were together nearly a year. All I can think of is what good we had. I don't know if I can find anyone else. I prayed hard for this. Now it is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
B345T Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 From what it sounds like it is similar to my issue with my ex she is immature and she doesn't respect you enough to stop talking with other guys. If she cared for you and respected you she wouldn't be talking to other guys if she knew it was bothering you or at the least she would talk to you about it. Take the loss and emotions now and teach her a lesson life wise. You can and you will do better I can put my life on it that is how confident I am in you. You did something for a reason you know it was for the better just don't look back and lift those weights all day long if you need to. Give yourself some time to grieve and heal and if you need to cry just let it all out at once you will feel MUCH better. I promise you you made the right choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
B345T Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 (edited) It is human nature to think about the good and not the bad you have to remind yourself of these things. This is only temporary and remember before you even knew this person existed you were doing perfectly fine. Just keep reminding yourself your reasons. Write it down if you need to and just keep reminding yourself constantly that you can do better and will do better. Patience is the key in every decision you make. Let her try to come to you instead of you going back to her and her gaining more power and authority over your emotions, you don't need that crap. By the time she realizes her loss you will have moved on and found someone better you just need time to clear your head and start thinking straight. Don't fail yourself because in the end you are the most important person of them all. Edited May 5, 2016 by B345T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 If you feel like her guy friends are more important to her than you are, they probably are. Don't take it personally, some people have such huge egos that they need constant affirmation that the opposite sex is attracted to them, the attention from a partner just isn't enough. If the partner complains they will be told they are insecure, immature, etc, etc. So, not only do they insult you by acting like you're no one special to them, they make it worse by then making out you're the one with the attention-seeking problem. These people are an emotional drain. Avoid them, let them make someone else miserable. Remember, no matter how beautiful she is, some guy out there is sick of her crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 You'll second guess yourself a lot and that's natural. But remember every time you think you did the wrong thing how much for granted she took you and made you out to be crazy. delete her from your life and reach a point of indifference. It's really the best way to go about it. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Good for your sanity. She was gaslighting you! Link to post Share on other sites
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