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5years together - she left for someone else


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Hello! I just want to share my story and ask for advice. I've been reading a lot of topics and they help a lot to understand how i'm feeling and what i'm going through.

 

 

I was in a relationship for 5 years+ this was actually my first real relationship. She's 24 and i'm 23, she's working for 2 years(quit uni) and i'm finishing my uni in 2 months. We had our ups and downs like everyone else but never had huge fights

(can't even remember when we were actually mad at each other). I thought everything was going smooth and we were talking about finding an apartment together after i found a job, we also booked a vacation and were really looking forward to it.

 

Everything changed 2 weeks ago.. Out of the nowhere she asked me if i would mind going home instead of sleeping at her place because she had to think. I went home and called her late at night to ask if she wanted to talk about it, She said she fell in love with another guy and ended our relationship on the phone. I was schocked as i did not see it coming at all. Turns out she was texting with him for a few weeks and fell for him.

The next day they were together.. She just jumped from me to him leaving me behind like she never cared.

 

I was broken and begged but ofcourse it did not work. I did ask for one more conversation face to face to get some closure and actually end it like mature people. Which we had 5 days after (also gave some stuff back).

She said she still loved me and that she really was happy those 5 years but the relationship got boring and was becoming a drag, also that i was a bit jealous (which is true, but she knew that from day 1 we were together).

And that she fell hard in love with the other guy.

This guy is just 18 and started to study, she always "hated" younger people because they are less mature. (no offense to anyone)

 

I did look up her photos the first days and saw they already went to the beach for a day... Which made me angry because we were planning on doing that for over a month and were just waiting till the weather got better.

I'm 1 week in NC now, mostly to get my mind off her and trying to move on but so far i only had bad days because i miss her. Even if i try to do other things my mind keeps going back to her.

After 3 days of NC she texted the typical "how are you doing" and another text the day after "guess you don't want to talk to me eh?".

I did not respond and haven't heard anything from her since.. Maybe she does not even think about me or is mad i ignored her or she just accepts that i don't want to talk. (my mind keeps saying it's because she already forgot about me..)

 

Deep down i still want her back and hope she figures out she made a mistake.. So i guess i'm also using NC to make her miss me even tho i'm just giving myself false hope this way.

She never told me that she found our relationship boring or that it was a drag so i guess it was just an excuse to make her feel less guilty about why she broke up. We could of worked on that problem together and she knows that.

I find myself emotionally cheated on because she was texting him behind my back (maybe even more..) and i'm also wondering if she has the GIGS and after the honeymoon phase is over she knows it was a mistake.

 

Do you guys/girls think it's the GIGS or you actually think she just did not want to continue the relationship

Would there even be a chance she would come back? (Guess only time will tell :/)

Is she actually still thinking about me, or did she forget about me because she is not reaching out over text? - (i won't text her back, but if she reaches out i atleast know that she thinks about me)

 

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It means a lot!

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Hello! I just want to share my story and ask for advice. I've been reading a lot of topics and they help a lot to understand how i'm feeling and what i'm going through.

 

 

I was in a relationship for 5 years+ this was actually my first real relationship. She's 24 and i'm 23, she's working for 2 years(quit uni) and i'm finishing my uni in 2 months. We had our ups and downs like everyone else but never had huge fights

(can't even remember when we were actually mad at each other). I thought everything was going smooth and we were talking about finding an apartment together after i found a job, we also booked a vacation and were really looking forward to it.

 

Everything changed 2 weeks ago.. Out of the nowhere she asked me if i would mind going home instead of sleeping at her place because she had to think. I went home and called her late at night to ask if she wanted to talk about it, She said she fell in love with another guy and ended our relationship on the phone. I was schocked as i did not see it coming at all. Turns out she was texting with him for a few weeks and fell for him.

The next day they were together.. She just jumped from me to him leaving me behind like she never cared.

 

I was broken and begged but ofcourse it did not work. I did ask for one more conversation face to face to get some closure and actually end it like mature people. Which we had 5 days after (also gave some stuff back).

She said she still loved me and that she really was happy those 5 years but the relationship got boring and was becoming a drag, also that i was a bit jealous (which is true, but she knew that from day 1 we were together).

And that she fell hard in love with the other guy.

This guy is just 18 and started to study, she always "hated" younger people because they are less mature. (no offense to anyone)

 

I did look up her photos the first days and saw they already went to the beach for a day... Which made me angry because we were planning on doing that for over a month and were just waiting till the weather got better.

I'm 1 week in NC now, mostly to get my mind off her and trying to move on but so far i only had bad days because i miss her. Even if i try to do other things my mind keeps going back to her.

After 3 days of NC she texted the typical "how are you doing" and another text the day after "guess you don't want to talk to me eh?".

I did not respond and haven't heard anything from her since.. Maybe she does not even think about me or is mad i ignored her or she just accepts that i don't want to talk. (my mind keeps saying it's because she already forgot about me..)

 

Deep down i still want her back and hope she figures out she made a mistake.. So i guess i'm also using NC to make her miss me even tho i'm just giving myself false hope this way.

She never told me that she found our relationship boring or that it was a drag so i guess it was just an excuse to make her feel less guilty about why she broke up. We could of worked on that problem together and she knows that.

I find myself emotionally cheated on because she was texting him behind my back (maybe even more..) and i'm also wondering if she has the GIGS and after the honeymoon phase is over she knows it was a mistake.

 

Do you guys/girls think it's the GIGS or you actually think she just did not want to continue the relationship

Would there even be a chance she would come back? (Guess only time will tell :/)

Is she actually still thinking about me, or did she forget about me because she is not reaching out over text? - (i won't text her back, but if she reaches out i atleast know that she thinks about me)

 

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It means a lot!

 

Being jealous is definitely a no no , you have to have confidence in yourself. Many women eventually get turned off by it. She decided to leave just like that? All you can do is just erase her for good. Plenty of fish in the sea my friend.

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Silver_star

Hello,

 

Sorry you are going through this. It's a terrible heartbreak when someone you invested in so much, and trusted with your heart just decides to walk away from you instead of talking to you, and working on your relationship together.

 

 

My thoughts on this subject are that if someone can "fall hard" for someone else in 3 weeks while they still are in a relationship with you, they obviously are not emotionally mature enough right now to handle adult relationships. They havent really "fallen" for someone else as much as they like what they are feeling with someone else and feel conflicted. Doesn't make it any more fair for you, because they are still getting to be with someone else right now to distract them from their real issues. Maybe they are going through something in life right now, and they want to feel something so strong to take their mind off those other feelings and their way of dealing with is to run to something else, something different. When you get into a relationship you can become comfortable and complacent. Those exciting feelings of passion, and love are not at the forefront anymore, but an emotionally mature and self aware person would realize that they could talk about it instead of run to something else that may be fleeting emotions.

 

 

If she respected you she would leave you alone now, and she may eventually see that she lost something really great, once she has to deal with herself and her emotions again...but she will only see that if you leave her alone and let her know what she lost.

NC is not a game you play to get someone's attention. It's so you can start moving in a direction that is more about YOU than them.

 

 

She hurt you. If you took her back would you trust her? Would you resent her for running into the arms of another man? If she came back you would not be able to have the SAME relationship as before, because that is broken now thanks to her.

 

 

Actions have consequences. You are both still young, and I think you are better off without her now. You'll find someone again and love again.

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Being jealous is definitely a no no , you have to have confidence in yourself. Many women eventually get turned off by it.

 

What jealousy are we talking here? My ex would get frustrated that I didnt get jealous when she talked to other guys, but I was just letting her be as long as they were just friends, I told her im not the controlling type.

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Being a jealous person, do you think you could handle the fact that she's already been with someone else in case you were together again? I think you should ponder that at length, because if the answer is no, both would have a very hard time.

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Do you guys/girls think it's the GIGS or you actually think she just did not want to continue the relationship
She didnt want to continue it in my opinion, she found someone else and told you the relationship was becoming old for her. It sucks but those were her words.

 

Would there even be a chance she would come back? (Guess only time will tell :/)
Maybe she will, maybe she wont, but to be honest, she was texting the guy for three weeks and fell hard for him, to me it sounds like she may have even hooked up with him if that is the case, its something that needs to be taken into consideration. How can you trust her again? I sure wouldnt.

 

Is she actually still thinking about me, or did she forget about me because she is not reaching out over text? - (i won't text her back, but if she reaches out i atleast know that she thinks about me)
Im sure she is thinking of you, whether its because she is missing you or because she feels guilty is something I cant answer. She even texted you 3 days after NC, but you need to stick with that for now. Stay strong. Allow her to miss you, dont just go back to her with open arms.
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ExpatInItaly

Sadly, a lot of relationships that start when we're young don't last. We change so much in our teens and twenties and there's a natural desire to explore other people.

 

I too left an ex-boyfriend at 23, whom I'd dated for 5 years. He was a good guy but I fell out of love and I would say I also felt bored. We'd become good friends but the spark was gone. I wanted to date around and meet other people. It's kind of a normal progression in life.

 

I don't think she's in love with this other guy, for what it's worth. She's feeling some butterflies because it's new and different, but I don't know too many 18-year-old boys who are looking for a committed relationship with an older woman. It's awful that she was communicating with him behind your back; I can understand why you're so hurt.

 

She might try to come back someday, when she realizes the gap between 18 and 24 is significant. But you need to think long and hard about whether you'd ever want to welcome her back into your life. She was careless with your heart, carrying on with some other guy while playing Good Girlfriend to you.

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Being jealous is definitely a no no , you have to have confidence in yourself. Many women eventually get turned off by it. She decided to leave just like that? All you can do is just erase her for good. Plenty of fish in the sea my friend.

 

I know it's a big no no, and i kept working on my jealousy throughout the relationship and came a long way. And i will keep working on it because i know it's something bad.

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I know it's a big no no, and i kept working on my jealousy throughout the relationship and came a long way. And i will keep working on it because i know it's something bad.

 

Jealousy isn't about other people.

 

It's a consequence of how you feel about yourself.

 

 

Take care.

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Sadly, a lot of relationships that start when we're young don't last. We change so much in our teens and twenties and there's a natural desire to explore other people.

 

I too left an ex-boyfriend at 23, whom I'd dated for 5 years. He was a good guy but I fell out of love and I would say I also felt bored. We'd become good friends but the spark was gone. I wanted to date around and meet other people. It's kind of a normal progression in life.

 

I don't think she's in love with this other guy, for what it's worth. She's feeling some butterflies because it's new and different, but I don't know too many 18-year-old boys who are looking for a committed relationship with an older woman. It's awful that she was communicating with him behind your back; I can understand why you're so hurt.

 

She might try to come back someday, when she realizes the gap between 18 and 24 is significant. But you need to think long and hard about whether you'd ever want to welcome her back into your life. She was careless with your heart, carrying on with some other guy while playing Good Girlfriend to you.

 

I guess you're right that a lot of young relationships won't last. But i was happy and didn't have any desires to explore other people. Thought the same about her but i guess i was wrong.

I'd like to think she actually just has butterflies and it's just temporary honeymoon and the i feel wanted phase. But i won't know so i just try not to think about it that much (which is still very hard)

 

Everything is just so painful because she jumped on to the next one, having fun and the best time of her life doing god knows what. While i'm feeling miserable, alone and broken.

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If this can help you:

 

Yes, she is still thinking about you, daily, even every hour.

 

You can't forget an amazing 5 year relation just like that.

 

You two will be in eachothers heart for the rest of your life, even if you will not see eachother anymore.

Try to give it a place.

Maybe she just feels like exploring, and one day she'll understand that there is nothing better then you. Then, maybe, you can take her back if you want.

 

For now, yeah, stick to NC, especially because you are a jealous type.

I was the opposite, untill I found out that she was kinda texting with other guys, from that day on I became super jealous, which resulted in me checking all her mails/chat story. => this became the end of our relation.

She hated me because of that.

So lesson: Don't show to her that you dislike the fact that she's seeing some else. If you have contact and she asks about it, say that you don't care anymore and that she can do what she want since she is single.

 

You can do it, good luck my friend, this will be a very ****ty time for you BUT hang on! Summer is coming, try to get in shape and have some fun with your friends.

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If this can help you:

 

Yes, she is still thinking about you, daily, even every hour.

 

You can't forget an amazing 5 year relation just like that.

 

You two will be in eachothers heart for the rest of your life, even if you will not see eachother anymore.

Try to give it a place.

Maybe she just feels like exploring, and one day she'll understand that there is nothing better then you. Then, maybe, you can take her back if you want.

 

For now, yeah, stick to NC, especially because you are a jealous type.

I was the opposite, untill I found out that she was kinda texting with other guys, from that day on I became super jealous, which resulted in me checking all her mails/chat story. => this became the end of our relation.

She hated me because of that.

So lesson: Don't show to her that you dislike the fact that she's seeing some else. If you have contact and she asks about it, say that you don't care anymore and that she can do what she want since she is single.

 

You can do it, good luck my friend, this will be a very ****ty time for you BUT hang on! Summer is coming, try to get in shape and have some fun with your friends.

 

Thank you, all i can do is hope you're right on this. Because i'll never really know if she does think of me.

 

The fact is she's not just seeing someone else.. she left me for him, left me behind like i was nothing left everything we had together. That's whats hurting me so much. If we broke up and she found a new guy i still would be sad and hurt but it would be a different feeling that i have now.

IF she would reach out and ask me how i feel about everything i'll probably won't answer or say 'i hope you are happy'.

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whatcanitellyou

It's probably not much comfort but you guys are very young and what she's done isn't as unusual as you might think. It's lousy to do to someone, but even though you currently aren't interested in pursuing someone else it's likely that the day could come when you will.

 

That's why it's such a bad idea to settle down so young. You've got to get that stuff out of your system, and you've got to experience enough people to get a good idea of what you want and what you don't want.

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Thank you, all i can do is hope you're right on this. Because i'll never really know if she does think of me.

 

The fact is she's not just seeing someone else.. she left me for him, left me behind like i was nothing left everything we had together. That's whats hurting me so much. If we broke up and she found a new guy i still would be sad and hurt but it would be a different feeling that i have now.

IF she would reach out and ask me how i feel about everything i'll probably won't answer or say 'i hope you are happy'.

 

I know how you feel, to an extent. I had an almost two year relationship, so not nearly as long as yours, but my ex broke up with me and immediately started dating some guy in her art class whom she was flirting with before we broke up. I understand that lousy feeling that the woman you loved chose someone else.

 

Here's a couple things to keep in mind that have helped me out:

1. She didn't choose choose him over you. She didn't line you guys up side by side and decide she wanted him instead of you. She had been with you a long time. She knew your good points and your flaws. She only saw the image this other guy presented to her, designed to emphasize the good.

 

The guy my ex started dating is completely different than me. I'm sure she saw him as basically the anti-me, and that brought them together. I don't appreciate art like he does. He's more easygoing. Well, you know what? I love myself, flaws and all. Yeah, I'm sure at the beginning, she'll be happy to be rid of my flaws. But, as time goes on, she'll start to see his flaws too. Ways she prefers me, or someone else. So don't feel like this is about her choosing someone over you. This is about her screwed-up perspective.

 

2. People who jump from one relationship to another aren't as happy as they seem. It's simply not healthy to immediately go from one committed relationship to the next. People do it because they can't stand being alone. Right now it might seem like she's doing great and you're doing horribly. In reality, she's choosing the easier short-term solution at the expense of her long-term emotional health.

 

By being alone, you have an opportunity to work on yourself. To focus on your life and what you want out of it. To experience that sadness that comes with a breakup, get through it, and come out a better, stronger man. The reason these rebound relationships tend to fail is because they're not built on a foundation of love. They're built on one person's need to mask their pain with a new relationship.

 

3. After almost three months since my breakup and about one and a half months of no contact, my ex texted me some BS little "hi, hope you're doing well" type message. Now, she always kept herself really busy, and like I said, she started seeing this other guy right away. She also acted like I was a monster when we broke up. And yet I was still on her mind. We're all humans here, I guarantee you that you still cross your ex's mind, it's natural.

 

 

Keep your chin up. What happened to you is a lousy thing to go through. Don't let it break you. If you have to force yourself to do things, then force yourself. The first couple weeks after my breakup, I had to force myself to hang out with friends, to go out, to exercise. It was hard, and I thought about her all the time. Gradually, things got more and more fun again. I didn't constantly want to talk about my ex while hanging out with friends, I simply enjoyed their company. Instead of feeling weird when I went out, I felt fine. I went out to watch fights at a bar Saturday night by myself and had a great time. Even met a girl with the same name as my ex :lmao:. Trust me, it gets better if you put in the work and don't just wallow in misery. In case you were wondering, I didn't respond to my ex's text.

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Thank you for all the replies!

And thank you LD1990 for that post! It really helped. I'm not at the stage i can get over my ex but i know i will be some day in the future. :)

 

I know the NC rule is to work on myself and i'm going to do just that, I'm gonna reflect and improve myself.

Trying to let her behind me and just think about me for now. Grow to be a better person i guess.

 

Everyone made me think about if i would actually want her back (if she would try to come back) even if she done this horrible thing.

If i would need to make a decision now, i think i would say 'Yes, i want to try and give it my all to overcome this bad/horrible situation. And start a NEW relationship with her, forgetting the old one we had."

But if months went by and i worked on myself and can think about everything she has done without being emotional attached. I think my opinion would change quite a bit, and leave it be. I'd probably just want to be an acquaintance or a friend.

But i'm not at that thought process yet because i'm still emotionally attached to what we had together. And i still have a long way to go :).

 

I lost most contact with old friends, and the other friends i made are from her side. I don't want them to choose/abandon her because of me so if they are up to get a drink some time i would be happy to do so but i won't be pushing them and let them come to me.

Now i'm trying to get in touch with my old friends and catch up, which will happen next weekend if they have time!

 

I'm glad i found the courage to post my story, and i appreciate everyone's honesty and advice!

It helps getting advice and perspective from people that have had similar problems. So thanks again!

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Here's a couple things to keep in mind that have helped me out:

1. She didn't choose choose him over you. She didn't line you guys up side by side and decide she wanted him instead of you. She had been with you a long time. She knew your good points and your flaws. She only saw the image this other guy presented to her, designed to emphasize the good.

 

The guy my ex started dating is completely different than me. I'm sure she saw him as basically the anti-me, and that brought them together. I don't appreciate art like he does. He's more easygoing. Well, you know what? I love myself, flaws and all. Yeah, I'm sure at the beginning, she'll be happy to be rid of my flaws. But, as time goes on, she'll start to see his flaws too. Ways she prefers me, or someone else. So don't feel like this is about her choosing someone over you. This is about her screwed-up perspective.

 

That's an awesome way to put it.

 

It sucks enough getting dumped, but when you get dumped for someone else you tend to feel really crappy about yourself. Like you weren't good enough, or like you lost some 'competition'.

 

The truth is that relationships, even seemingly awesome ones, sometimes just die. More often than not, there's nothing you could have reasonably done differently. You can't let yourself think that you weren't good enough or that this other guy is somehow better than you because it just isn't true. It's hard to believe that sometimes and I'll tell you, my confidence was pretty much shot to 0 when it happened to me. Eventually I began to realize that literally nobody else in the world was looking at her and thinking 'wow, she's way better off with this new guy'. More often, they were thinking either that she was terrible for doing that to someone who treated her so well or that she was a plain idiot.

 

So, don't blame yourself. It's not that you weren't good enough -- if she's gonna pull all this **** than she isn't good enough for you.

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Bit of an update:

 

14 days of NC; not feeling much interest to text her.

No text from her since day 4 of NC and now today she did text me saying: 'just some info: the ending of that serie (recommended her a week before we broke up and rewatched most of it with her) was really good.'

I didn't know if i had to reply to be polite.. So i didn't because it was not a question in my interest, maybe she's getting angry because i don't text her back, no idea and i guess i won't know.

Mainly i think she just wanted to see if i would respond.

 

NC is going okay, not that much interest in texting her like i said above, but i keep wishing she will text because i know she is thinking of me on that moment, trying to shake the feeling but so far no luck.

Also i keep dreaming about us getting back together and her saying it was all a mistake and she never should of left me for someone else.

 

Last night i had a different dream which spooked me.

I was standing on a path and in the distance i saw her, seeing her i wanted to reach her so i started walking but for some reason a force was holding me back and i couldn't move forward. So i tried to run, trying to run i just felt me stepping real slow even though i was running and after a few steps i saw her going further away on the path. This kept cycling over and over and i felt my heart pounding harder and harder in the dream. Till i had my eyes wide open noticing i was fully covered in sweat asking myself, was this fear,panic,anxiety?

 

All in all im doing okay, except for the dreams. And the fact that i still want to be certain she is thinking of me even though she has someone else.

 

Also been working on myself, new outfit,new hairstyle, going to workout soon, doing workouts at home, trying to build some friendships with people i haven't spoken in a while.

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Never crossed my mind to contact her, even when she texted me first. But now i really want to reach out.

 

Just something small, saying i heard a song which reminded me of the time we danced like idiots on it, and that she fell and we laughed.. That was a funny night.

Or tell her There's a line-up from a festival out, and i know how epic it was for us. That she might like to know about.

 

 

I have no clue on what to do..

 

2 weeks from now i'm going on a B&B which became a tradition for my family. (she was with me on all occasions) And i know im going to have a really hard time because the rooms hold so much great memories and i'll be there alone for the first time.

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You're gonna have plenty of times where you're dying to contact her. Those are the times that you need to summon up all the pride you have and remind yourself that this isn't your loving girlfriend anymore, this is the girl who dumped you and has a new boyfriend. Sending your girlfriend cutesy little "remember the time" text messages is sweet. Sending it to the girl that dumped you makes you look pathetic and shows her that she still has you.

 

Trust me, you'll be a lot better off if you don't text her and don't get caught up in her little games. As far as the B&B goes, that's one of many things that will kind of suck for awhile. Just stay strong and get through it. Over time, it will get easier.

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Chi townD

Okay here's the deal dude. She was cheating on you. She was seeing this kid behind your back and now she put more of a value on this guy over you. Why in the hell would you want someone like that back in your life?

 

NC is a tool to help you heal. Out of sight, out of mind. You need to be focusing on you! You need to make positive changes in your life.

 

You are two month out from having a degree. That makes you marketable for a good paying job. Get that job and focus on becoming successful. Then, go to the gym every day. Work off all the frustrations and stress and take it out on the weights. Trust me, you'll feel better. Plus you'll be working towards that rock hard bod that girls love.

 

Then, get new hobbies! Do them, keep yourself busy and your mind off of her. So, take diving lesson or a men's soccer league or a running club or cycling club!

 

Then, travel! Go see something that you've always wanted to see! Make a plan, save and then GO!!!

 

sooner or later your Ex is going to get curious and she may take a peek at your facebook page while she's sitting in her 18 year old boyfriends parents basement watching him play Playstation and she going to see pics all over your wall with places that you've visited and things you've seen. I think it would be cool if she saw a pic of you on the deck of a boat after you just got done diving the Great Barrier Reef with your arm around your dive partner that just happens to be a blonde hired blue eyed Aussie girl that looks FANTASTIC in a wet suit. She'll regret it then!

 

The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good and adventurous life!

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Okay here's the deal dude. She was cheating on you. She was seeing this kid behind your back and now she put more of a value on this guy over you. Why in the hell would you want someone like that back in your life?

 

NC is a tool to help you heal. Out of sight, out of mind. You need to be focusing on you! You need to make positive changes in your life.

 

You are two month out from having a degree. That makes you marketable for a good paying job. Get that job and focus on becoming successful. Then, go to the gym every day. Work off all the frustrations and stress and take it out on the weights. Trust me, you'll feel better. Plus you'll be working towards that rock hard bod that girls love.

 

Then, get new hobbies! Do them, keep yourself busy and your mind off of her. So, take diving lesson or a men's soccer league or a running club or cycling club!

 

Then, travel! Go see something that you've always wanted to see! Make a plan, save and then GO!!!

 

sooner or later your Ex is going to get curious and she may take a peek at your facebook page while she's sitting in her 18 year old boyfriends parents basement watching him play Playstation and she going to see pics all over your wall with places that you've visited and things you've seen. I think it would be cool if she saw a pic of you on the deck of a boat after you just got done diving the Great Barrier Reef with your arm around your dive partner that just happens to be a blonde hired blue eyed Aussie girl that looks FANTASTIC in a wet suit. She'll regret it then!

 

The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good and adventurous life!

 

Thanks! But it's not that easy to drop the feelings i have for her. I'm trying my best but have my weak moments now and then because i'm still emotional attached to her.

 

Gonna go to the gym starting next week, and trying my best to get my degree and finding a good job!

And you my friend, got some vivid fantasy :p i like it, made me smile while reading!

 

Cheers!

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You're gonna have plenty of times where you're dying to contact her. Those are the times that you need to summon up all the pride you have and remind yourself that this isn't your loving girlfriend anymore, this is the girl who dumped you and has a new boyfriend. Sending your girlfriend cutesy little "remember the time" text messages is sweet. Sending it to the girl that dumped you makes you look pathetic and shows her that she still has you.

 

Trust me, you'll be a lot better off if you don't text her and don't get caught up in her little games. As far as the B&B goes, that's one of many things that will kind of suck for awhile. Just stay strong and get through it. Over time, it will get easier.

 

Thank you again LD1990! your posts keep helping me! They help me stay strong and move on with my life step by step.

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You're welcome and I'm glad to hear I can be of some help. Just focus on building yourself an awesome life and everything will fall in place from there.

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Chi townD
Thanks! But it's not that easy to drop the feelings i have for her. I'm trying my best but have my weak moments now and then because i'm still emotional attached to her.

 

Gonna go to the gym starting next week, and trying my best to get my degree and finding a good job!

And you my friend, got some vivid fantasy :p i like it, made me smile while reading!

 

Cheers!

 

Not a fantasy dude. You can have that. Nothing is stopping you from fulfilling a dream. If you can see yourself doing that, then you can do it. It might take some time. It might take some planning and it may take some money. But, it can be done if you really want it.

 

And as far as the emotional attachment is concerned. That's why you need to do NC. It will help break that emotional attachment more quickly than if you didn't,

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This started as a shower thought but kept me busy for two days now..

 

How can a person that invested 5 years in a relationship throw it all away for someone she has been talking to for only a few weeks.

 

Saying she was happy with me and she still loves me, but that the love she feels is not enough anymore. (i think that's just an excuse to give herself another reason to go through with it.)

 

i can't wrap my head around how someone can just say 'i'm done' after a LTR and immediately get together with another person.

Why would she choose a new uncertain relationship over a good functioning one and if she had any troubles why not communicate and figure it out together.

 

It just doesn't make any sense to me..

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