lman22 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Hi guys I don't like resorting to posting online and reading online, it's just my mind is all over the place right now and I need help. My now ex broke up with me a couple of weeks ago and has barely contacted me. She never gave me real closure and sort of left me in limbo. I decided to remove her from Social media because I would find myself checking her page too often and over thinking when she shares/likes anything that could be about me or another guy - destructive habits. The thing is, despite all this crap, I don't actually want to lose her. There is a part of me that can't move on despite trying. I don't know if she is suffering like I am Anyway, after deleting her she sent me the following texts. We talked abit after but got nowhere. Basically what I'm asking is - does she actually want to break up and what is the best course of action now? Texts below: Her: Can I ask something..why did you delete me from Facebook? Me: Because, like you said previously, we would have to delete each other at some point to avoid getting upset Her: Sucks Me: Why? Her: Means it's 100% done. No chance of return now. That is hard to accept Me: You had no intentions of getting back with me Her: 5% chance You: You've given me no indication that there is even 1% Her: Apart from the fact I said I still love you and don't want it to end Me: But you ended it with me... Her: I DIDNT WANT TO FOR **** SAKE Her: What's done is done. Now you can finally find someone better. I'm so happy about that. Kinda wanna vomit at the thought though Many thanks L Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 It's 100% done now because you are no longer FB friends Good for you for taking the step to moving on, if there ever is going to be a next time with her both of you have to move on and remove the string.. you did that by deleting her from your social media.. you are no longer a puppet on her string that she can keep an eye on... She broke up with you, the only option you have is to move on....if she wanted you back you would see her try and get you back...oh.. and stop talking to her... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Her: I DIDNT WANT TO FOR **** SAKE Obvious lie is obvious. If she didn't want to end it, she wouldn't have. She has done exactly what she wanted to do, all along. Here is how the conversation should have gone: Her: Can I ask something..why did you delete me from Facebook? Facebook: This person has blocked you. You can't send messages to them. Her: WHY DID YOU BLOCK ME??? Facebook: This person has blocked you. You can't send messages to them. Make it so. Block her. On FB and in every other possible way. Link to post Share on other sites
TheScientist Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 It's 100% done now because you are no longer FB friends Good for you for taking the step to moving on That bit made me chuckle too - Erm no darling, things ended because you ended them? Believe me she would so bothered if it was her that deleted you, it's just her ego talking. Her reactions are so immature too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 ^ Thanks guys. Weird isn't it, how deleting Facebook caused a bigger reaction than anything I've done so far. I feel like she see's me as someone who will always be there for her...she confuses the hell out of me but denys any wrong doing. I'm just gonna go NC now. If she wants to reach out and make herself clear, the ball is in her court. Link to post Share on other sites
TheScientist Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 ^ Thanks guys. Weird isn't it, how deleting Facebook caused a bigger reaction than anything I've done so far. I feel like she see's me as someone who will always be there for her...she confuses the hell out of me but denys any wrong doing. I'm just gonna go NC now. If she wants to reach out and make herself clear, the ball is in her court. No no the ball is never in her court - if she was to reach out I would question her motives as well as her past behaviour. She is acting like a spoilt brat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 No no the ball is never in her court - if she was to reach out I would question her motives as well as her past behaviour. She is acting like a spoilt brat. Maybe I'm in denial. It sounds like my friends were right..she is playing me like a flute and she knows it she will text things like "I don't want to lose you" but then go on to tell me how much fun she is having on a nightout. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheScientist Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Maybe I'm in denial. It sounds like my friends were right..she is playing me like a flute and she knows it Just know that girls that act like that are no prize. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Yes, you hurt her ego when you deleted her. She thought you were her loyal puppy dog who would always be there for her to trample on whenever she wanted. Now the worm has turned and she doesn't like it, she is biting back by being nasty to you, hoping you'll fall back in line. Obvious bait; don't fall for it. she will text things like "I don't want to lose you" but then go on to tell me how much fun she is having on a nightout. If you simply don't respond in any way, she will eventually get the message and stop. In fact block her number so all messages get diverted straight to trash. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Yes, you hurt her ego when you deleted her. She thought you were her loyal puppy dog who would always be there for her to trample on whenever she wanted. Now the worm has turned and she doesn't like it, she is biting back by being nasty to you, hoping you'll fall back in line. Obvious bait; don't fall for it. If you simply don't respond in any way, she will eventually get the message and stop. In fact block her number so all messages get diverted straight to trash. Thanks, will do. What do you think she thinks of me? Will losing me actually hurt her? I hope once the dust settles she realises that the break up was handled in a poor manner on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 What do you think she thinks of me? Will losing me actually hurt her? These are very common questions for the dumpee. But I can assure you, they are irrelevant to you. You need to let go of your curiosity. It doesn't matter what she thinks or whether she is hurt. It won't change anything. She dumped you and that is all that matters. I hope once the dust settles she realises that the break up was handled in a poor manner on her part. Unlikely. She will think she did what she had to and that you were a bit of a d*ck for blocking her on facebook and not remaining "friends". But like I said, who cares what she thinks? It doesn't affect you or your life in any way whatsoever. You know the truth, that is what matters to you and the people who actually care about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Maybe I'm in denial. It sounds like my friends were right..she is playing me like a flute and she knows it she will text things like "I don't want to lose you" but then go on to tell me how much fun she is having on a nightout. If you block her like you're supposed to then she can't text you those things. You do realize that, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 She has already dumped your balls. Do not let her play with your balls again. No balls, no court. Go proper no contact ignore everything she says. She just wants drama and amusement from you... Sod that. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 "What do you think she thinks of me?" She thinks that she doesn't have you by the balls and can't mess with you......to this point. Now don't mess it up. Shows a lot that you unfriended her on Facebook pretty much right away. Great job as a lot of dumpees would not have been able to do that. You've still got your balls, now don't lose them. I'm not suggesting you think about getting back with her, but the best thing is to block her text and calls or at least ignore. You're lack of communication will do one of two things. Get her to the point where she truly regrets what she did and gives you something substantial to work and you can decide if you want to respond and move forward with her again (chances not good) or she moves on which in that case, she was not that into you to begin with. Do not respond to bread crumbs, because this early you will get them. You just got a taste of it from her. she wants to play games with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretzky99 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 This story is eerily similar to mine. What I would try to suggest to you is that though it may be a set-back in the "right now" because by deleting her you have caused her to contact you and have reopened some wounds, in the end, you did the absolute best thing for you in the healing process. You'll figure this out in the long-run. My ex also dumped me. We broke up back in July. We were in a relationsip for over a year and a half and had plans to be together for the long haul. Obviously, I was crushed like I had never been in my life. I tried, pleaded, begged for her to reconsider her decision for hours that day. I did almost everything humanely possible that day to tell her how this was the wrong decision and how we could make it work, but in the end, she didn't budge. She wanted us to remain in contact and still be friends desperately, though, but I told her that could not and would not happen. Anyways, after that day, I never contacted her ever again and she never contacted me either. I unfriended her from Instagram that very same week and deleted all our pictures together from my profile. I also deleted any pics I had with her off my phone, and anything that reminded me of her. However, the weird part was although I had unfriended her so that I can heal and stop hurting, she still "followed" me on Instagram. This continued for roughly 5 months and it killed me in many ways because I was too caught up with playing a game in trying to post that "perfect" picture. In trying to make her see that I was doing just fine and moving along. I couldn't be myself because everything revolved around what would my ex think if i posted this or said this, etc.... It was a very difficult time for me and I was depressed for many months. I clinged onto some hope that she would return back to me. Long story short, I finally decided that this was not enough, and after 5 months, I decided that I had to block her so that she would no longer be connected with my whereabouts. Only in finally doing it, was I finally able to heal. I cant describe it, but there is something heavenly when you no longer have to worry/think about an ex knowing about you whereabouts. It's like you're free again. It immensely helped with the healing process. Anyways, about a month after, I randomly saw a comment of hers on one of our mutual friends posts and clicked her name and I found out she had returned the favor and blocked me as well. It didn't mean anything, but it just goes to show it did sting her a little as well. I thought it was quite childish and petty to be honest, because she was the one who had broken up with me, and as such, she should've understood the reasons or respected it at the very least. Ive been a dumper myself on several occassions, and let me tell you, at least with me, I've always have some burden of guilt for dumping someone to some little degree, so I NEVER took it as offensive when I have dumped someone and they've hated me after or they've blocked me. I compleltely get it. But it doesn't make much sense when you dump someone and when the other person it trying to heal and they block you, yet you return the favor. My personal belief is that some ppl are just childish and it's about one-upping someone. They feel like you got the last word/punch/diss or whatever they want to call it, so they return the favor by blocking you as well. TO them it's just about their ego, when in reality, what we did is nothing more than just trying to move on and heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Polar965 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 My take is that she broke up with you because she wasn't happy in the relationship/wanted something different. You accepting it was over (deleting) made her have anxiety because now SHE was losing you. Just delete her, block her, go through the emotions and be done with it. The back and forth game is wearing and will only further destruct the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Thanks, will do. What do you think she thinks of me? Will losing me actually hurt her? I hope once the dust settles she realises that the break up was handled in a poor manner on her part. I think some people are just entitled and think they can have everything on their terms. They seem to be surprised when you want to handle things differently. Um, actions have consequences, it seems she doesn't understand that part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 Thanks all for the replies. Heard nothing from her since the conversation. Still amazed how after 2 years, it's over, just like that. What doesn't help is I'm sure the reason is because of someone else, but she will never admit it. Nearly 1 month of hell but I'm finally settling and moving on from this ordeal. I will treat it as a life experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 She's mad now that she can't keep you as her option (that she likely wasn't planning to exercise anyway...she just wanted to know you were there, waiting). Wah! Hurt her pride a little. You're much better off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Apparition Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 It's simple, dude, if she wants you back she will fight for you. If she doesn't, she won't. Ignore anything else she throws at you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 Well guys I'm maintaining no contact but she managed to contact me last night. She asked how I've moved on so quickly, she told that she is heartbroken and can't stop crying and that she has lost the one person who ever understood her and that the thought of me with someone else kills her. WTF? Change of heart or just playing with me? Link to post Share on other sites
sowhynot Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Did she sound a bit sloshed ?! Late night calls usually involve booze, especially at weekends. I think playing. There doesn't appear to be much in the way of 'the compete 180' as detailed in the NC guide. If she'd come round SOBER with a full and honest apology I night have been tempted to listen but this sounds too much like self pitying drama. No remorse or acceptance on what she did in dumping you = no guilt from her viewpont which means she will have no hesitation in dumping you again whenever she feels like it. I would take this as a red flag and walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 I think that emotional disconnection takes time and it has its ups and downs. That's why she is upset. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Well guys I'm maintaining no contact but she managed to contact me last night. She asked how I've moved on so quickly, she told that she is heartbroken and can't stop crying and that she has lost the one person who ever understood her and that the thought of me with someone else kills her. WTF? Change of heart or just playing with me? Next time do not pick up the phone. Emilia is right but its still messing with your emotions so just walk away and let her get on with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lman22 Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 I'm sorry..I broke the rule and looked at her Instagram. BIG MISTAKE. The guy I suspected she had feelings for left heart comments on her picture, and vice versa. I'm right back to how I was..broken and fuming. I knew there was something between them. I want to demand answers but I can't. Link to post Share on other sites
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