Why did he keep lying to the very end saying we will get married one day

[loveandhearts]

Yes there was a huge difference from when he used to "pretend to propose to me without a ring but he really meant it (we both were still under 20 years old so of course it wasn't real) but I basically continued on in the relationship as if he truly had asked me to marry him and that one day he would do it for real, with a ring.

 

 

It then turned into me asking "so do you not want to marry me?" And exactly the day before he broke up with me he said "we will probably still get married" not sounding happy about it at all. I thought he was just mad at me for a fight we were in but his attitude should have told me everything. Maybe I did get the signal did but I ignored.

We never had a problem making up. I'd just get close to him and show him affection and we would be better. I guess I never thought our issues were as serious as he thought they were.

 

It just hurts that someone else might get to have him now, I wanted to always be his and thought I would be.

If I saw him again I'd still see him as "mine" which is why I can never see him again. I can't see how handsome he is.

 

I spent every holiday with him (along with every single day) how do I work that off me? How is he able to? I guess he said it's not easy for him either, but it must be easier. I sometimes feel worthless without him (it's only been a few days since the break up!) He made me feel special and now him choosing not to be with me makes me feel the opposite.

 

Just yesterday he said "do you want to know a secret, you're pretty everyday" and he said he wanted to be best friends forever so I thought that meant he should obviously be mine. But this site keeps giving me insight into the dumper's mind. He's just trying to make up for his guilt.

[CarrieT]

Yes there was a huge difference from when he used to "pretend to propose to me without a ring but he really meant it (we both were still under 20 years old so of course it wasn't real) but I basically continued on in the relationship as if he truly had asked me to marry him and that one day he would do it for real, with a ring.

 

The question is: How old are you now and how long have you been continuing in the relationship?

 

Because - honestly - people change so much in their late 20s that those of us who have been there heartily recommend NOT getting married until one's early 30s.

 

So if you are still in your early twenties, he did you a favor. Don't try and stay friends. That might be possible later - after both of you have matured and grown - but is not possible while one of you still has romantic feelings towards the other.

[d0nnivain]

At the time he said these things to you, his view of romance had probably been shaped by the movies & TV. It wasn't real. I'm sure he meant them when he said them but he didn't really have a meaningful understand of what forever means. You at least had the good sense to know they weren't actually proposals.

 

 

Apparently this was your 1st love. Those can be harder to get over. He saw long term problems that you over looked. In all honesty you two probably just outgrew the relationship.

 

 

You will survive this heart ache. For now you need to grieve & put some distance in here. Surround yourself with positive people & hang in there.

[kztar]

Be happy. You are young and will move on. My HS sweetheart proposed to me and we were together for 3 years. I said YES. Then he cheated on me and we broke it off. This was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. I went away for school, had the best four years of my life, have met other guys who have broken my heart but W.E. Im experiencing this journey called life. After you get older these breakups will become more impactful because you are actually looking to settle down. You have plenty of time. Have fun and enjoy life. Be thankful, you may not see it now but you will in the future. TRUST ME from experience. You'll look back and see this and say WHAT WAS I THINKING LOL