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Crush on younger colleague


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Old 29th February 2016, 11:26 AM   #1
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Crush on younger colleague

I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on my predicament. I am a 53-year-old woman. I have a crush on a 26-year-old colleague (we have been colleagues for about half a year). He is always ready to help me and I was beginning to think that he liked me back. We seem to have a special connection and I blatantly flirted with him.


It wasn’t until a night of partying when he got a bit drunk that he tried to touch my hand and held my hands as he walked me home that I realised he also liked me in a romantic way. After that night, we acted like nothing had happened, though I could see that he held back a bit, perhaps because he thought he had made a mistake.

I tried to make him feel comfortable by being my normal self, and trying to convey that what happened (his vulnerability that night) was no big deal. He can talk to other colleagues very easily, but seems nervous around me – even now – and I always try to make him feel comfortable by initiating conversations. I like him in a romantic way, but have no intention of having a long-term relationship with him as I am much older than him and also my work contract ends in a year. It is obvious that I like him and he should know that, but I just want a friendship (perhaps laced with some romantic feelings).

My question is, why did he hold back and should I tell him about my feelings and ask him whether he feels the same way and whether we can be “buddy” colleagues without the “romantic” element coming between us. I would like to make him feel better and more confident by telling him I like him back. I don't expect a relationship from this, but I do want to let him know that I like him back in a romantic way and perhaps maintain a friendship with me even after I left the workplace.

So should I even discuss what happened that night when he was a bit drunk? Or should I carry on as if that night never happened, and disappear from his life when my work contract ends? He is a really great guy and I would like to at least be great friends/colleagues with him even after I left the workplace when my contract ends.
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Old 29th February 2016, 11:49 AM   #2
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I'm still confused about what you want and that's after I read you explaining it out in written form. I can only imagine the 26-year-old dude is much more confused.

So you just want to be friends but with "romantic feelings?" I don't get that at all. Or just buddies? Or just workplace colleagues? What good would it do to admit romantic feelings (for either you or him) if you have no intention of letting anything romantic happen?

You should probably make up your mind exactly what you are looking for, but it's always dangerous to have anything other than professional workplace relationships.
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