CasualDude10 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Been seeing this girl for a little over a month. Been talking everyday since. We go out to dinner,stay the night at each others houses, etc. Both are 21. Called me her baby, her guy twin, and talked about a future with me. Anyways, Friday I stayed the night at her house and met her roommate (which she was nervous for). It went great and she said she loved that he liked me. She worked the next morning, and throughout the day was short with me saying she was tired/grumpy because of no sleep. I then (to my deepest regret) sort of snapped on her, saying "its fine youre grumpy, but if you are going to keep being short with me, i just wont respond to you anymore." she then replied by saying "i do not do threats, nice talking to you." So Saturday night and Sunday morning, I texted her 5 times, the last two texts basically saying "if you want to move on, let me know, im sorry" and i also called her 4-5 times between those two days. She never answered. Clearly ignoring me. This morning, I came to the conclusion that she blocked my number (since she never answered and her texts didnt say "read") so I messaged her on twitter saying "I think u blocked my number, just know again I am sorry, and if you want to move on, let me know, I just need to get my clothes back) She then texted me later saying this: "Im in class all day. And no I didn't block your number, I just wasn't ready to reply. But either way, I can get you, I'll get you your clothes back." I replied back saying: "okay cool. did u want to talk about all of this or would you rather we just go different ways." She read it at 5pm, and still has not responded up to this point. So basically, I believe I messed up big time. I really like and care for this girl, and she warned me in the past to not treat her bad because of past relationships that she was mistreated in. I have apologized and I do not know if I should move on or not. The thing I realized is, I asked her about 4 messages in a row if she wants to move on. She never said she did, but she also said she didn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Her past relationships have probably made this worse for her, but don't think that excuses you. You were an ass! All you can do is back away, maybe one last text along the lines of sorry and letting her know she can contact you if she wishes.. then leave it. The more pressure you put on her, the more you push her away (if you haven't fully just yet). You could probably sort this out if you talked face to face, but that's up to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 replied by saying "i do not do threats, nice talking to you." I wish all young women (and less young) could have her guts. Good on her for recognizing she was dealing with another controlling man. She warned you, you blew it, she is moving on. Next time someone tells you they don't do threats, believe them. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Damn, buddy. Dating for a month and snapping at the girl? What happens at the 6 month mark? She did the right thing moving on. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I wish all young women (and less young) could have her guts. Good on her for recognizing she was dealing with another controlling man. She warned you, you blew it, she is moving on. Next time someone tells you they don't do threats, believe them. Absolutely agree. To the poster who started the thread, you are not ready to be a good partner to someone. You need to take the time to learn why you behave this way towards women, in order that you don't ever put a woman in such a situation again. Her alarm bell rightly went off, because the behaviour you exerted is dangerous. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Harsh speech: Poison for each and every kind of relationship. Never helps, always hurts. Learn to be respectful even when you're angry. If you learn from this situation, it's not a total loss. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Harsh speech: Poison for each and every kind of relationship. Never helps, always hurts. Learn to be respectful even when you're angry. If you learn from this situation, it's not a total loss. Take care. Love posts like this from you. You always give me a reason to pause for thought. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CasualDude10 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 thanks everyone for your feedback. a couple things that i failed to address. she told me when we began talking that she needs a guy that she wont be able to walk all over. with that being said, that is why i snapped. but again, i apologized to her. i never before in my life snapped on a girl like that during the begin stages of a relationship. now, every time i asked her if she thinks we should go our separate ways, she never says anything and ignores it. I asked it like 4-5 times. with that being said, should i leave her alone or try to contact her one more time? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 thanks everyone for your feedback. a couple things that i failed to address. she told me when we began talking that she needs a guy that she wont be able to walk all over. with that being said, that is why i snapped. but again, i apologized to her. i never before in my life snapped on a girl like that during the begin stages of a relationship. now, every time i asked her if she thinks we should go our separate ways, she never says anything and ignores it. I asked it like 4-5 times. with that being said, should i leave her alone or try to contact her one more time? She couldn't have been clearer that it's over, and that your behaviour is the reason why. Exchange whatever things you have belonging to the other, and leave her alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'm going to go against the tide here: I don't see that you did anything particularly wrong. You set a boundary regarding being the surrogate punching bag for your gf's negativity about whatever was pissing her off. You could have worded it a bit more artfully, but it was a legitimate boundary. That boundary didn't work for your gf, and she had the right not to accept it. I'd say each position is about as righteous as the other. 13 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 thanks everyone for your feedback. a couple things that i failed to address. *she told me when we began talking that she needs a guy that she wont be able to walk all over. with that being said, that is why i snapped. but again, i apologized to her. i never before in my life snapped on a girl like that during the begin stages of a relationship. now, every time i asked her if she thinks we should go our separate ways, she never says anything and ignores it. I asked it like 4-5 times. with that being said, should i leave her alone or try to contact her one more time? *That isn't a reason. Thats an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'm going to go against the tide here: I don't see that you did anything particularly wrong. You set a boundary regarding being the surrogate punching bag for your gf's negativity about whatever was pissing her off. You could have worded it a bit more artfully, but it was a legitimate boundary. That boundary didn't work for your gf, and she had the right not to accept it. I'd say each position is about as righteous as the other. He didn't try to set a boundary. He made a threat. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Oh my days. She is tired and grumpy and your reaction is to blow up her phone and stress her out! Dude she needs a good night sleep! IF you text again it should be calm, civil and asking her to do something nice. No more apologies, no more blowing up and breaking it off. Just be normal hey? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CasualDude10 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 She couldn't have been clearer that it's over, and that your behaviour is the reason why. Exchange whatever things you have belonging to the other, and leave her alone. actually no she never did make it clear. she never responded multiple times when i have asked her and thats one of the main things that is killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 He didn't try to set a boundary. He made a threat. That he wouldn't respond to grumpy texts? I'm not sure that's worthy of the word "threat". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 actually no she never did make it clear. she never responded multiple times when i have asked her and thats one of the main things that is killing me. To me this is the real mistake you made: bugging her to death in the aftermath. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 actually no she never did make it clear. she never responded multiple times when i have asked her and thats one of the main things that is killing me. Because you were blowing up her flippin' phone! There is NOTHING worse. I recently had a guy do it because he was bored... What am I? An x box? Go entertain yourself! You ask. You ask once and you leave it. It is not a problem to not get a reply for a while. Leave the girl be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Leave her be for now. If she wants to talk to you, she will. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 That he wouldn't respond to grumpy texts? I'm not sure that's worthy of the word "threat". You forgot the words "any" and "more". That's a threat - change what you're doing or it's over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CasualDude10 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 To me this is the real mistake you made: bugging her to death in the aftermath. yea i agree. and i regret it. i panicked because i didnt want to lose her, but i believe theres nothing else more i can do. do u think she is wanting to move on, or since she isnt replying whenever i ask her that she is unclear Link to post Share on other sites
Erdbeere Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 actually no she never did make it clear. she never responded multiple times when i have asked her and thats one of the main things that is killing me. She has! She told you she doesn't accept threats and said goodbye or words to that effect. She is planning on returning your things. All clearly indicating this is over. Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I'd be very upset if I had received a text like yours and I think I'd never talked to you again. Early in a relationship were trying to get to know one another, and you showed a very rude aspect of you. That is an enormous red flag. One could expect more rudeness along the way and no apologies can make up for that. She's done the right thing, and if I were you I'd try to address the hostility of your personality. Leave her alone, no need to continue harassing her. You'll look creepier than you already did. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 You forgot the words "any" and "more". That's a threat - change what you're doing or it's over. Well, that's what I meant by the fact that he could've worded it a bit more artfully, because pretty clearly that's not what he meant. And also the danger of talking about anything remotely meaningful by text. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CasualDude10 Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 Thanks everyone for your input. But will someone please tell me their opinions on why she hasnt responded to the question ive asked her multiple times when i aksed "Do you want to talk about it or do you think we should go our separate ways." Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Thanks everyone for your input. But will someone please tell me their opinions on why she hasnt responded to the question ive asked her multiple times when i aksed "Do you want to talk about it or do you think we should go our separate ways." I think she's answered that one pretty clearly. Let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
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