Was it my fault? Or was it doomed anyway?

[Swan89]

I was dating this girl I met in University for about 2 months and she has a history of mental health issues (possibly bi-polar).

All was going so well but as the weeks went by, she started acting cold and b1tchy to everyone, during what I can assume to be a period of stress in university or maybe an 'episode', it wasn't too fun to be around her at this time. I eventually caved in and messaged her to call her up on her BS.

I could have been more tactful with my wording- I wasn't nasty, but I was certainly stern enough to make her feel bad.

Needless to say, say she ended it.

 

She mentioned she wasn't ready for a relationship.

This girl was frequently mentioning her ex and their volatile relationship so I know she wasn't over it.

But regardless of her problems, she still had amazing qualities that I fell for.

For another 2 months I chased her, we went from from casual dating to friends-with-benefits (when drunk mainly) to just friends.

She 'dumped' me again on a night out because I told her she acted like I wasn't even in the room. Just recently, she said I play games (which I'll admit I did just to decipher her mixed interest, but NEVER used to.) She also said I "see her as broken" and that "maybe you can't handle me".

 

I recently stopped talking to her because I've been through mental torture with this, its ruined my confidence and I'm not interested in being friends after being rejected so much. But she still occasionally initiates contact in some shape or form. I'll also admit after her messing with my head, I became more impatient and emotional, as opposed to the beginning when I was very smooth and collected.

 

Now I am trying to move on, so I joined tinder and found her on there. I also found out she slept with someone after our 'FWB' period. So I certainly don't want to share her body with anyone. I've lost a friend.

[Satu]

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[mightycpa]

I'm going to go with doomed from the moment you met.

[Swan89]

I keep beating myself up thinking I wasn't 'man enough' and patient enough. Thinking of my own needs without thinking about her side of the story.

[mightycpa]

I keep beating myself up thinking I wasn't 'man enough' and patient enough. Thinking of my own needs without thinking about her side of the story.

There is no doubt that you weren't perfect. I have to believe that you got fed up with her behavior during her bi-polar episode or whatever it was. Who wouldn't? So maybe had you been a doormat, it wouldn't have ended the way it did.

 

But that wasn't your question.

 

Your question was was it doomed anyway?

 

It was.

[VirtualHope]

I’m sorry your relationship has ended and that it's left you with hurt feelings and confusion as to why things turned out the way they did. I know it’s hard to look down the road, but as painful as these recent events have been, it’s not nearly as painful as being involved in an unhealthy long-term relationship or ending up being married to the wrong person. I have read that journaling can help you to process your feelings and cope with your emotions more effectively. You might try it and see what happens. Wishing you all the best!