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Am I carrying around false hope?


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I met a boy in high school and we dated for nearly three years. we were each others first for everything. he was always supportive and loving of me, and said things to me like we would get married and he knew he could never find anyone better than me. i developed some depression and anxiety related issues and because of this, I began to lose friends and started to spend more time with him, which meant he saw his friends less. he never liked to be honest with me because he was afraid to hurt my feelings or make me upset.

 

he began to change, started wanting to see me less often and party and hang out with friends more. he then cheated on me, which he swore he would never be able to do that to me, and lied about it and kept it a secret for a month. he started to text and talk to different girls. one time at a party, I became very upset and started crying, and the next day I saw a text on his phone to another girl, lets call her Stacy, saying "OMG i am done with her I swear to god", but instead of talking to me about it, he lied and told me everything was fine. him and Stacy used to like each other before we started dating, and had class together. they also would often go out to lunch to do homework.

 

he finally admitted to cheating on me, with a different girl, lets call her "Debra" and broke up with me two days later when I wanted to stay together. he lied about the whole situation. after the break up he told me he was always going to love me and we would still end up together. then I found out he had sex with Stacy a week after breaking up with the supposed "love of his life" (me). he began to text Stacy and they wore each others jerseys to the state game, and he liked all her posts on social media. while all this was going on, he was still telling me he loved me and wanted to be with me in the future. we also hung out a few times in between and each time it was as if I was still his girlfriend.

 

at his graduation party, i felt very overwhelmed as both Debra, the girl he cheated on me, with and Stacy, the girl he slept with right after we broke up, were there. on top of this, his family, who liked me a lot, were giving me hugs and saying they missed me and asking if I was okay. this made very upset and began to cry and crossed his face off in a picture. I know that was wrong of me. he made me feel awful about it and before going to college, he told me things were done for good and I needed to move on and he didn't care if we ever saw each other again.

 

however, he came home for the holidays, and we hung out. again, it was as if we were dating. we hung out 5 more times after that, until the last time i drove four hours to see him and ended up sleeping in a cold car while he was at a frat party because he said he changed his mind about hanging out. after that he blocked me on all social media and told me there was absolutely no future for us. he admitted he was only using me for sex and said he had no feelings, which is hard to believe by the way he treats me in person when we hang out. although after we hang out, I don't hear from him unless i reach out first.

 

we broke up almost a year ago, and the last time I saw him was about two weeks ago. he said him and Stacy were still a thing and that he has been cheating on her with me for a while, which I was not aware of. is there any way in the far future he may realize he made a mistake and come back? he used to be a great guy.

 

his mom told me that she thinks one day he will realize he made a mistake by letting me go.

 

side note- Stacy lives in Alabama and my ex lives in Illinois. they only see each other when she is visiting friends in Wisconsin, but they only hang out at parties. he told me things with her would not be the same as they were with me (meaning not as serious) and that he could not see himself ending up with her.

 

what do you guys think about this whole situation? thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.

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Mom's say that to the high school GF to ease her pain. It's not true. So yes, I think you are holding false hope.

 

 

You need to let go of the past to move forward & find your happily ever after future with somebody else.

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Moms say that to the high school GF because they don't want to believe that their sons are such *******s. She's probably carrying the same false hope that you are.

 

Forget this guy. The more you allow him to treat you badly, the less he'll respect you. When he's older and thinking back, you want him to wonder about you, not laugh and shake his head.

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Yes, you are definitely holding on to false hope. It's over and it has been for a long time. Don't allow yourself to ever be used again.

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Yes, its false hope. Its over. He is worthless, you need to really see and accept that. The way you have been treated is unforgivable, and shows that he doesn't care at all. Sorry to be blunt. He is using you and you are allowing it. Stop that and heal.

 

His mother is being kind. She realizes your worth; her son does not.

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Yes, you have false hope that you may be able to have something that isn't worth having.

 

Instead cultivate some hope for something much better with someone much better.

 

 

Take care.

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