triple-s Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 One of the things she said to me when she broke up : " whenever I get to close I run away , it's a fault of mine I admit " ( exact words sent to me via text when I asked her , begged her back " What does that really mean ? ? Or was that just an excuse . She left me for someone else btw ... Later on she reveals " I cheat on all my boyfriends " 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Emotionally unavailable and embracing it. Don't leave her, RUN. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Translation: "I am never going to be a good partner to you or anyone else". Do not waste any more time on her. Get as far away as you can. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Translation: "I am never going to be a good partner to you or anyone else". Do not waste any more time on her. Get as far away as you can. It's tough , I work with her ... ? It's hard to keep my mind off things but when I see her it triggers memories I just don't understand why someone can be bipolar with emotions like that ... One day she's all caring one day she's completely a different person with no remorse or emotion whatsoever 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Emotionally unavailable and embracing it. Don't leave her, RUN. If she knows this the N Why did she get me involved ? I was minding my business then out of nowhere she lures me into falling for her ... I've known this woman for 7 years and now our friendship is destroyed . She wanted to remain friends after seeing each other but I said no to it How can you be friends with someone who just tucks their feelings under the rug like that --- that's sooooooo selfish 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Until my mid 20s all I cared about was the thrill of the chase. I literally broke up with the 1st guy I dated after he introduced me to some body as his GF. I was furious at 16 & could deal with what I viewed as being dehumanized & reduced to his possession. Throughout college I always went after the hard to get guys just to prove I could. As soon as they got serious I bolted. This woman wanted way less & more causal then you did. Take her at her word that she does this all the time. It's a version of it's not you, it's me. Either way accept that it's over. Stay professional but aloof at work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Until my mid 20s all I cared about was the thrill of the chase. I literally broke up with the 1st guy I dated after he introduced me to some body as his GF. I was furious at 16 & could deal with what I viewed as being dehumanized & reduced to his possession. Come to think of it I did that once -- I introduced her to a friend and said this is " my girlfriend " ... But I said that because I thought we had a connection . If she didn't want that and more casual then why not say it in the beginning ??? Once upon a time I had a girl tell me up front " let's be friends with benefits " ---- done . Not once did I have any feelings it was just straight on sex . No strings because SHEVTOLD ME . Why didn't this one say it ? To save face ? Look where it got us both . I communicated as best I can . She didn't . Throughout college I always went after the hard to get guys just to prove I could. As soon as they got serious I bolted. This woman wanted way less & more causal then you did. Take her at her word that she does this all the time. It's a version of it's not you, it's me. Either way accept that it's over. I accept its over . I just hope one day she wakes up realizing what she lost. Stay professional but aloof at work. I'm working on it ... no contact and no looking back 2 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 If she knows this the N Why did she get me involved ? I was minding my business then out of nowhere she lures me into falling for her ... I've known this woman for 7 years and now our friendship is destroyed . She wanted to remain friends after seeing each other but I said no to it How can you be friends with someone who just tucks their feelings under the rug like that --- that's sooooooo selfishyou place way more importance on friendship than her. She seems to take what she likes when she likes it and drop everything else - big accent on "thing" not people. Seems you were used until she decided otherwise. At least you know. People who stay uninvolved emotionally while interacting with others on an intimate level should be avoided like the plague. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 It's tough , I work with her ... ? It's hard to keep my mind off things but when I see her it triggers memories I just don't understand why someone can be bipolar with emotions like that ... *One day she's all caring one day she's completely a different person with no remorse or emotion whatsoever *A TV that only works some of the time is a broken TV. When it comes to relationships, she's broken. Not your problem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hell Yeah Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Please listen to all the above, they are all right. I have wasted nearly 2 years of my life on an emotionally unavailable manipulative person Run as fast away as possible, I understand this can become very hard especially if you have invested your time and love towards this relationship but you can become addicted to this kind of person. They don't care about anything they are cold, selfish, see every thing black and white and will spit on your face with no respect towards you or remorse to how they treat you . I told my ex to stick it with the friendship and as hard as it not seeing her or her family and this does make me very sad even to this day but I will have a much better quality of life snd level of sanity!!!! without that around me. Hang in there mate 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 *A TV that only works some of the time is a broken TV. When it comes to relationships, she's broken. Not your problem. Agreed . I cant fix any of it .. She has to fix herself but i dont think she is even aware of what kind of damage she is doing ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Please listen to all the above, they are all right. I have wasted nearly 2 years of my life on an emotionally unavailable manipulative person Run as fast away as possible, I understand this can become very hard especially if you have invested your time and love towards this relationship but you can become addicted to this kind of person. They don't care about anything they are cold, selfish, see every thing black and white and will spit on your face with no respect towards you or remorse to how they treat you . I told my ex to stick it with the friendship and as hard as it not seeing her or her family and this does make me very sad even to this day but I will have a much better quality of life snd level of sanity!!!! without that around me. Hang in there mate Im going to see her this week after a month being away from work ( we work together ) . I just hope i can stay strong and not have lingering feelings . Heck im so desperate to move on i find myself hanging around this forum alot more since i joined. I just want to be free of this ****ty feeling Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 y At least you know. People who stay uninvolved emotionally while interacting with others on an intimate level should be avoided like the plague. you know sometimes i think she was in it for Sex. I recall the first time she did it with me she commented how good it felt since her and her previous relationship havent had sex in a very long time . She always told me how good it felt, how amazing i was ( not bragging or anything ) but she and I had great chemistry when it comes to bed activities ... if that was something she would be more inclined to why not just simply say lets just be friends with benefits ?! Ive done that before with a girl a few years ago ( she left the country so it stopped lol ) ... but the great thing about it was we went at it with no strings attached . When you F---- with someones feelings its no good . I would NEVER F with someones emotions . Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 When you F---- with someones feelings its no good . I would NEVER F with someones emotions . It sounds to me as if she is very immature. She's most likely clueless as to the pain she's causing and probably doesn't know how to experience an intimate relationship so just bolts when a relationship progresses to that level. Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 It sounds to me as if she is very immature. She's most likely clueless as to the pain she's causing and probably doesn't know how to experience an intimate relationship so just bolts when a relationship progresses to that level. Yeah its a ****ty feeling bro . Do you think she will ever regret what she did one day ? like a realization ? maybe not anytime soon but someday ? Link to post Share on other sites
Hell Yeah Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yeah its a ****ty feeling bro . Do you think she will ever regret what she did one day ? like a realization ? maybe not anytime soon but someday ? Not unless they grow up, deal with life's issues and get their act together Sadly most of these people don't mate, all they see is their own **** And what you said about the sex etx yep be there and it's just as much bull**** from them as everything else 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yeah its a ****ty feeling bro . Do you think she will ever regret what she did one day ? like a realization ? maybe not anytime soon but someday ? I wish I could assure you she would but my gut instinct from the little I know of her through your posts says her life is kind of all a blur right now and it could be quite awhile before she grows up and does any reflecting. The bigger truth, though, is that you're very fortunate to have been released. It seems to me she's not good news for any guy at this point and maybe never will be. Also, as you move on and do your best at everything you touch, you may very well one day do some reflecting of your own and end up wondering what you ever saw in her.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 you know sometimes i think she was in it for Sex. I recall the first time she did it with me she commented how good it felt since her and her previous relationship havent had sex in a very long time . She always told me how good it felt, how amazing i was ( not bragging or anything ) but she and I had great chemistry when it comes to bed activities ... if that was something she would be more inclined to why not just simply say lets just be friends with benefits ?! Ive done that before with a girl a few years ago ( she left the country so it stopped lol ) ... but the great thing about it was we went at it with no strings attached . When you F---- with someones feelings its no good . I would NEVER F with someones emotions . well, sex was good. And... you know what they say, it's not f*cking unless it's mindf*cking. Perhaps she caught feelings & then she did her usual thing, jumping from one man to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 One of the things she said to me when she broke up : " whenever I get to close I run away , it's a fault of mine I admit " ( exact words sent to me via text when I asked her , begged her back " What does that really mean ? ? Or was that just an excuse . She left me for someone else btw ... Later on she reveals " I cheat on all my boyfriends " It means she has some major issues. Issues she isn't fixing about herself. Be glad if it ended. Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 It means she has some major issues. Issues she isn't fixing about herself. Be glad if it ended. I needed this . thank you . I hope i never run into her ever again . I just noticed she is no longer in our company work schedule ( quit, resign ? ) Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Kylo read up on love avoidants. It may help. P.S. Why Han?! Why?!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author triple-s Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Kylo read up on love avoidants. It may help. P.S. Why Han?! Why?!!!!! Holy smokes ! I googled " love avoidant " and BAM : If you are a love addict and your partner is love avoidant, it is important to keep in mind—that his/her attitude and behaviors, and who they show themselves to be in the relationship is not about you, or what you did or say, or what you did not do or say. You may have been too clingy, or too needy, and you may have made mistakes and blunders along the way--- but these are not the reasons for why they are the way they are. Before you knew them, before a relationship started with you, he/she was the person they are with you. It is part of who they are and how they operate in relationships. A love avoidant enters relationships with dysfunctional core issues, and they will leave a relationship with dysfunctional core issues. All of which problematic behaviors they will carry in any relationships they fall into. If you want to have a happy, fulfilling, and healthy love relationship – it will not happen with someone who is love avoidant (and by the way, it goes both ways). Sometimes this is a hard reality to face- although in the end, it is a reality that will set you free. Unless and only unless they are willing to look at themselves can they change- BUT don’t bet on that. .... Mind . blown . Recovering from Love Addiction... Online Help for Love Addict Love Avoidant - Recover, Heal, Overcome Obsessive Love - Signs Your Partner is Love Avoidant This is EXACTLY WHAT MY EX WAS LIKE . Wow brother you nailed it . Every line and paragraph is mirrored to all her actions . Thank you for this , sorry I killed Han but he wouldn't let me pilot the falcon when I was 15 and he was never there for any of my birthdays so f him and CHEWIE THAT ASSHAT -- he's next for shooting me in the rib !!! Link to post Share on other sites
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