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Will he come back?


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Okay so here's the story. I have been dating this boy for 10 months now, and I thought that we were all good. For the first seven months of our relationship we were madly in love and had no issues. The last 3 months have been difficult because our senior year of high school started and we've both been crazy busy. He has expressed to me over the past month or so that he hasn't felt like himself recently. He normally puts a lot of effort into our relationship and lately he hasn't been trying at all. But things still haven't been that bad. We both still seemed to love hanging out with each other and were happy together, and were trying to hold out until we had more time for each other. About two weeks ago, I left for Mexico for a thanksgiving break trip. We hung out the night before I left, and things were really good. I was packing and he was sitting in my room and just said "it makes me so happy that you're packing for your trip and like your putting my sweatshirt in your bag, and you have that photo of us on your desk. Our lives are so intertwined and that's how it really should be."

 

So I left for Mexico feeling good. While in mexico I had wifi, but we didn't talk a crazy amount. We emailed each other longer emails back and forth. And things were good then too. There was absolutely no change in the way he was treating me. He kept saying how much he loved and missed me and that he couldn't wait for me to come home and that he was so happy that were together. The day that I came back from Mexico - which was thanksgiving - he emailed me and said I'm thankful for your return from Mexico. I love you so uch and I mis you and I can't wait to see you and pick you up from the airport. And then when I got home he picked me up from the airport, an then we drove to my house, and then he just broke down and starte crying and said that we need to talk.

 

And he said that he loved me more than anything and that he knew that I am the person for him, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but that he doesn't want to be a boyfriend right now. He said he wanted to take a break. I was blindsided and confused and hurt and so many emotions. So he went home that night and I texted him and asked if we could talk again the next day in person because I felt like he owed me more of an explanation. He said yes, so the next day he came over. And he essentially said that he loves me so much, but he's been in realtionships all of high school and he doesn't know what it means to be independent and on his own. And he wants to learn how to do that. But he also said that he still wanted to talk to me everyday and he still wanted us to "hang out and watch movies in my bed" but he needed space and didn't know if he would want to get back together.

 

It was all very confusing because he kept contradicting himself. He said he didn't know if he wanted to get back together but then told me all this stuff about how he wants to marry me and wants to take me to prom still and wants a future with me. And then he also said that he wants to hook up with other people, but two minutes after saying that he started crying and said it makes him sick to think about either of us kissing other people and that he doesn't want to date anyone else. He said that were not breaking up because our relationship has issues, but because he needs time to be him for a while, and then we can be together again.

 

And I just feel so confused because he completely flip-flopped in one day. Like how could he so quickly decide he needs needs needs to be on his own? When he was texting me the day before that if I didn't come back from Mexico soon he would have to come down to be with me. And it's even more confusing because when he was saying he wanted a break, he didn't seem like himself. Like it seemed like someone else was putting words in his mouth. An he kept contradicting what he was saying once he was emotional. And I have a suspicion that his best friend is a large factor of this situation. His best friend is a single party dude who has had sex with like 30 girls, but all of them just hook ups at parties. And I think when I was I mexico his friend was telling him how he's a senior in high school and he shouldn't be tied down and he should be out partying. And my ex-boyfriend thought that this would help him to stop feeling overwhelmed and help him feel more like himself. I can't see any other way he'd be saying "come home to me I love you I missyou" in the morning and saying I need time away from you that night.

 

Were not talking for the next week and I've just been feeling ****ty and confused. I don't know what to do or what to think. All of my friends say that he will realize his mistake in two weeks, tops, and will come crawling back to me. And part of me thinks that and part of me doesn't know. And it's unfair that he's kept me strung along because now instead of trying to truly move along, I'm just waiting for him to come back. I don't know what to do or what to think. I need help.

 

One more thing, this boy and I have known each other since 6th grade and he's alwYs had a crush on me. When we finally got together it was a long time coming and it was wonderful. There were truly no signs before he said he needed space and everyone I've talked to is confused as to why he did it, and says his reasons don't make sense. Also a lot of his friends in his friend group have been dumping their girlfriends lately. And I think he feels pressure from that, but I don't know. I know he loves me, and I know I make him happier than anything, he's told me that many times before, but I don't know what's going on.

 

Do you think he will come back? What should I do?

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He's got another one. Probably for a while and you travelling was the perfect excuse to get rid of you once and for all. I don't think he will be back.

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He seems to be involved with someone else. He is very confused though. On one hand he loves you and on the other hand he is in love/ or infatuated by someone new. He might or might not be back. Let him go and let him experience missing you, so do not contact/stalk him!!! NC for at least a month while your emotional roller-coaster settles down. I know heartbreak is really hard to deal with. We all go through this pain at some point. Talk to and get out with friends, focus on yourself and maybe start dating? :)

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Honestly, he is probably right in wanting to break up. Even if you two still have feelings for one another. The fact is that being together is stunting your growth and prohibiting you each from developing as individuals. You've known him since 6th grade and been dating for a while now. You said he's been in relationships all through high school. Have you?

 

If it's just him then I'm sorry but he does need to learn how to be single and live his life without a gf. If he's just using this as an excuse to break up and ends up dating someone else in a month then he's just an immature *******. But if he's being honest then I think you should respect that.

 

If he's had girlfriends for his entire high school life then he's not given himself the ability to grow and experience things as an individual. He's always been with s girl. Never been able to do things without having a gf to think of.

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