No Contact - Does it work in favor

[figureitout]

Would like to hear from people that it has worked for and against. Is it better to try and discuss things or go no contact?

[Meli22]

No contact is to help you get over the break up.

 

So if by working in favour you mean just that, then I can say yes it's helped me. Around 8 months post break up and there's been no contact except once (by me to ask a question not long after break up, then by him 2 months ago when he added me on social media then messaged to say it was a mistake).

 

I'm at a much better place and if we were still in contact I know I wouldn't be. So for me it's working. If you're using it to reconcile however, don't get your hopes up. 2 things will happen: either they'll get over you quicker, or they'll miss you. The worst thing for you right now is holding onto hope. If you're going to go no contact then do it for yourself. If you want this relationship (and they do too) then talk it out.

[figureitout]

I dated a woman (she 34, me 32) for over two years. She is divorced and has two children. It was truly the most stimulating relationship I've ever had. When we first got together I never thought I wanted kids or marriage. After her asking me to spend some time and give the kids a chance I did, my relationship with the kids grew and was nothing short of absolutely amazing. Full of love and adoration. Unfortunately, about 11 months into the relationship I had to go across country for work. I ended up being gone for 7 months though I came back every two weeks and things remained incredibly strong between us for the first 5.5 months I was there. She came out and brought the kids and everything was as perfect as it could be given the distance.

 

Then the stress of what I was out there doing became significant, I learned I would not have a job (the one I'd been in for 14 years) when I got back due to the company closing, time away was getting extended and difficult and we started fighting over little things. I became a bit ornery with all that was going on in my life so little things that never bugged me before all of the sudden started to. I came back and it was rocky for awhile, again, mainly due to my stress level. This went on for about 3 months but then things smoothed out for the next two until we got into one last fight. The fight that caused the official break up. We were working on a real estate deal together and she didn't have all the information she should have and I blew up over it.

 

That was the end of October last year. We went a few weeks without talking but then I reached out to apologize and try to make things right. From that point on through today I have never been nasty or even remotely argumentative. I started a new job, was in a happy place, reestablished old friendships and everything outside of us was and is going incredibly smoothly. People that run into me say I look like I'm at the most peace and happy I've ever been. I met with a therapist to see why I had become a person I'd never recognized in my life before during that stressful time, joined a volunteer organization and worked with kids in need, threw myself into my new career and tried to stay as busy as possible doing things that were beneficial mentally. I researched and analyzed everything I could find on arguments and fighting. Learned a ton about how to deal with conflict moving forward and vowed to make sure I changed my life.

 

So throughout November, December and January I pushed for us to reconcile. I dissected the entire relationship and what was going on with me like I was a member of CSI. My reconciliation attempts were made through writing handwritten letters explaining exactly what I knew I did wrong, various phone conversations, texts and emails. She was hot and cold as to what she would respond to and what she ignored. It was tough to gauge.

 

I finally went no contact at the end of January for 7 days. At the end of that period we finally got together again in the beginning of February. It lasted about two weeks. There were no arguments or anything bad that happened but one day she said she realized she gave us another chance before she was ready, that she was still concerned about things that took place before happening again. Now I should say that we had a conversation about work wherein I said something which I meant out of respect but she took as an insult and I could not talk her out of that belief no matter how I tried. She said that she couldn't get the annoyance out of her head as to the way I treated her before which made it difficult for her to see around her own feelings of my meaning despite what I truly did mean.

 

So for the next 2.5 weeks I kept reaching out with explanations, suggestions, etc to try and get us back together. She gave the typical reasonings most people do for not saying she was too busy and it was unfair to me that she couldn't devote time to us, that she needed to take time to herself, etc. She sent me this text right after Valentine's day: "Here is my problem...I need time. I want to be single. I feel like that is completely unfair to you because you are an amazing man and you love me probably more than anyone else will and I am more that aware of this. Deep down I know that we are overly compatible, you will love my children as if they are your own and we can have an incredible life together. The problem is I'm not ready for that yet. I don't want to be in something and years down the line ask myself if I took all of the time I needed for myself before committing again. It doesn't make sense and it seems awfully unfair to you but after all that I've been through [speaking of the divorce] I need to be fair to me and this is what I need. I think I didn't realize this until after you left. Some days there was actual physical pain from you not being there. On nights that I didn't have the kids I would just lay in bed wishing you were home. So I started to realize that I had gone from one relationship to the next and my happiness felt dependent on whether or not you were there. This scared me and I didn't like it."

 

So I tried to explain how I saw that she was happy in so many aspects of her life, that I respected her independence, individuality and sense of self...not only respected but it was a big part of the reason I fell in love with her. Things were quiet for a few days. We would talk on the phone every day. She was having some issues with the ex and I would talk her through it. Then one afternoon we decided to get together. I ran around to a few appointments with her, we went to dinner and then we went back to her place where we cuddled on the couch and watched TV for a few hours before I went home for the night.

 

Of course then I started pointing out all that was good about us and how I thought we could work taking into account her hectic schedule and all. I admit I did go a bit overboard in terms of the number of texts I wrote to get these feelings across. So this past weekend I was going to help her out with some showings she had as she was going out of town on a girls trip and when I went to pick up the keys from her I asked her what she thought about my suggestions. She told me it wouldn't work because there were things she felt she needed to do that she couldn't if we were considered together. When I asked what she said "go on dates. If someone asks me out I want to be able to consider it without worrying about someone judging me for it or having to answer to anybody." We spoke about it a bit. I didn't get any closure. I asked her if she was currently dating or had anyone particular in mind and she said no. I should say that we have always been brutally honest with each other before no matter how difficult the news so I felt like I should trust her on this. I said something about her having told me before she doesn't do casual dating and has always been unable to separate emotion from sex and she said maybe it was something she would just have to try. I remained calm (as I said I learned a lot about conflict during our time apart) and when I left we hugged and she told me she loved me.

 

I left her alone on her weekend away with the girls and took that time to think. I also took care of all her showings. When she got back I told her "Having had some time to digest our conversation and put it into context with everything that has gone on between us I realize that, unfortunately, I idealized you and the concept of "us." The reality is that we were simply two people with our own unique sets of strengths, weaknesses and histories that tried to make them work together. They don't so it doesn't appear to be meant to be. Since dating other people is what it takes for you to either wholly let go of or end up appreciating what we had (ie grass is greener syndrome) I think you're right. Dating other people is a great idea as maybe there truly is someone better out there for the both of us. I know I am not a back up plan and though there is a lot I still don't understand about this, it's oddly refreshing to have it all behind us."

 

Since then she hasn't spoken to me outside of my having sent a text simply saying I know I went overboard with the texts pushing for us to get back together the week prior and I'm sorry as it wasn't respectful. She replied don't worry about it and a bit later with I am all sort of really f*&ked up right now. That's been that.

 

Issue is I know the text she sent me should be clear as day but became confusing because she would still call multiple times a day every day - which I don't understand how that falls into play with a need for space - until she dropped the bombshell on me friday.

 

Today she posted something on instagram that basically said Let's keep it simple. respect my time. Match my effort. Keep your word. Always be honest. Stay consistent. Hate to be that guy but it seems to be a message to me based off what I know of her.

 

Thoughts?

[ribeto]

I think she's done with you.

 

Leave her alone. Anything you try to do will just push her further away.

 

If she wants back in she knows how to reach you.

[figureitout]

To clarify her text to me in which she said "I am all srts of f*&cked up right now." She was saying I as in talking about herself.

[figureitout]

With the back and forth I am curious as why you feel she is done? I do agree that I can't do anything in terms of contact which is pretty tough because even though we had broken and had a few periods of no contact (initiated by me) this is the first time she hasn't reached out to me in this long.

[ExpatInItaly]

From another woman's perspective - it's really over. She doesn't have those feelings anymore.

 

Of course she feels your absence, as you were together a little while. Hence the continued contact. But she doesn't want anything more with you at this time. I think she's tried to tell you this in so many ways but you are looking for signs that she is still invested in some way while not really absorbing the overall message. She cares about you as a person and values you, but I really don't think there's a future here.

 

The big clue is that she told you she wants to be able to date other men. Women who are truly interested don't want to do this.

 

Sorry OP. I know break-ups are so hard but it's time to really start cutting the cord.

[figureitout]

So I have posted on here before and people told me it was time to move on when the ex told me she felt that her and I couldn't be together . Broad strokes - 2 year relationship, ex (her - 34 years old) divorced with two kids, now has been 5 months since broke up with the exception of a two week "reconciliation" of sorts at the end of which she told me she moved to quick and wasn't ready for a relationship again, last real conversation about us was that she felt she needed to date casually as its not something she has done in her life having been married so young. For the entire back story, if interested, see

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/572014-pushed-too-hard-thoughts-grass-greener-syndrome#post6807870

 

Fast forward since that post. I have been keeping my distance though she has been calling and texting me about randomness practically every day. I did attend an opening of a new business she founded to show my support because that's the kind of guy I am and despite us not being together, I am proud of her and her accomplishments. Important to note that she texted me to ask me to come.

 

So since the open (last thursday) I have been relatively quiet. She reached out to me 3x on monday but I was busy so I didn't respond. Figured if it was something important she would say so. She started texting me tuesday that whenever something connects us again (ie the opening) it can never be just be about her and her success and if I don't get what I want I go silent which she views as a threat and that is what her ex husband did t her - threaten her - and she won't go back to that place. So I called her to see what this was all about. She told me she supported me and understood when I had to go to the west coast for a period of time for work and that I wasn't proffering her the same understanding when it comes to her need for space right now and that she just wanted me to be happy for her.

 

We had a two hour phone conversation basically rehashing issues, what I had done to recognize and resolve things so that they would not reoccur, etc. During such time she said everything I have ever said about our issues and the resolution makes sense but that she is just not able to be in any type of relationship with me because she wants to date (again reiterating). We got into a discussion about casual dating and she told me she absolutely hates the ups and downs of such a process but her fear of such has always kept her pursuing the next long term relationship and that she needs to prove to herself that she can do it and will do it.

 

So I asked her, how's the dating going. Mind you very calmly and collectedly. Playing it cool as can be. Here was the gist of that convo:

 

Her: I haven't gone on any dates yet. But you know X?

 

Me: Yes I know X (he is someone she has had a working relationship with for over two years)

 

Her: Well he and I have been working together closely and have started hanging out socially and we get along really well and he has been helpful and understanding because he is also divorced and has a kid so he has gone through the same thing I am going through with the kids, the ex etc.

 

Me: So are you two going on a date?

 

Her: We haven't gone on a date per se. Just hanging out. We almost hooked up once but didn't.

 

Me: Why not?

 

Her: Because since we have a professional relationship it couldn't be truly casual and would be the start of a relationship, which I don't want right now, but he is so on the same page as I am right now.

 

Me: Ok. I can say that not having been divorced and not having kids is something I can't fabricate so if that is counted against me there isn't much I can do about that. (note - her kids and I get along famously and absolutely love and adore each other which is something she loved about us). It makes sense that working so closely with someone who is giving you advice you feel you need might lead to feelings being established whereas you and I, in this current state, are losing our connection as we are not really speaking and haven't seen each other and it seems to me, based on our conversations, that you keep focusing on the negative of what we went through.

 

Her: I know. But I'm not focusing on a relationship, I'm not even actively looking to date. I just want to be able to if someone asks me out.

 

Me: Ok. I will reiterate that I do not want a platonic relationship with you. We had romantic relationship that but for a short moment in time was incredible. Be honest with yourself and with me, tell me you don't love me and that you don't see a future with me and lets close this chapter of our lives. I'm not a backup plan. You want space, I respect that but you have to tell me how you define it because I don't call you without you calling me first, I don't ask you to get together and when I go silent you tell me I'm threatening you. At most what I have done is relayed to you my understanding of how I contributed to the problems in our relationship and what I have done to change things for the better. I think its quite the exciting transformation.

 

Her: I just got to my meeting and have to run. I'll call you later.

 

So....what the heck?! What's the motivation behind her telling me about this guy and the fact that they almost hooked up but didn't? What's the deal with her lashing out at me unprovoked?

 

She called twice today while I was in a meeting. Liked facebook and instagram posts for the first time in months. When I called her back she spoke with me for over 40 minutes about life in general, nothing having to do with us. She definitely didn't respond to the last thing I said before getting off the phone yesterday.

 

Thoughts? Keep trying to go NC but she keeps reaching out and getting pissed if I don't respond.

[Simon Phoenix]

Why haven't you blocked this person exactly? You aren't doing yourself any favors by enabling this.

[BC1980]

You're not in a relationship anymore. You do not need to be having these kinds of conversations with her anymore. Neither of you owes the other anything at this point. You are hanging around and hoping she will reconsider. You went to her store opening because you hope she will reconsider.

 

If you are serious about NC and moving on, you either block her, don't respond when she reaches out, or you ask her not to contact you. Right now, I'm not getting the feeling that you are serious about moving on. Do you truly desire to do NC because it involves doing some uncomfortable things?

[figureitout]

Because I want to be understanding and I love her, her children and the family. She got married young (23), had two kids relatively young shouldering an immense amount of responsibility. Her ex husband (7 year marriage) was very oppressive, controlling and emotionally abusive. I had a stressful period in my life that led to strain between us where I was not as sensitive as I could have been. I don't mean walking on eggshells but in some sense I was an ass allowing minor things to cause fights between us. So in general, I have set ego aside because the relationship but for those few months of strain was spectacular. And I'm sure my actions during that time took her back to a place she interpreted as having been before with her ex husband.

[Simon Phoenix]

Because I want to be understanding and I love her, her children and the family. She got married young (23), had two kids relatively young shouldering an immense amount of responsibility. Her ex husband (7 year marriage) was very oppressive, controlling and emotionally abusive. I had a stressful period in my life that led to strain between us where I was not as sensitive as I could have been. I don't mean walking on eggshells but in some sense I was an ass allowing minor things to cause fights between us. So in general, I have set ego aside because the relationship but for those few months of strain was spectacular. And I'm sure my actions during that time took her back to a place she interpreted as having been before with her ex husband.

 

You can't be in No Contact and be an understanding friend. Those are two contradictory ideologies. Either you play the role of friend and emotional support or you don't and go No Contact. But you can't have it both ways.

[Zahara]

Because I want to be understanding and I love her, her children and the family. She got married young (23), had two kids relatively young shouldering an immense amount of responsibility. Her ex husband (7 year marriage) was very oppressive, controlling and emotionally abusive.

 

Stop trying to be the white knight. She's a grown woman capable of taking care of herself and her children and responsible for the choices she made. Even your appearance at the opening -- that was just to remind her of your existence, the great guy you are, etc. Deep down your agenda is to exhibit a new version of yourself that she will reconsider.

 

You're a stable crutch to have and she knows this.

 

There is no confusion here. This isn't NC. You've been stuck since November with zero results.

Edited March 16, 2016 by Zahara

[BC1980]

Because I want to be understanding and I love her, her children and the family. She got married young (23), had two kids relatively young shouldering an immense amount of responsibility. Her ex husband (7 year marriage) was very oppressive, controlling and emotionally abusive. I had a stressful period in my life that led to strain between us where I was not as sensitive as I could have been. I don't mean walking on eggshells but in some sense I was an ass allowing minor things to cause fights between us. So in general, I have set ego aside because the relationship but for those few months of strain was spectacular. And I'm sure my actions during that time took her back to a place she interpreted as having been before with her ex husband.

 

When you become an ex, your role is no longer an emotionally supportive friend. It just isn't. I know that is hard to accept, but you will have to do so eventually. If she really needed your support, she would not have broken up. The fact is that she decided she didn't need your support or want you as a boyfriend. She made that choice, so she removed you from that role. She can't have you on her terms now.

 

Whatever mistakes you made during the relationship are in the past. Now is not the time to make amends for whatever you think you did wrong. That time was during the relationship.

[Satu]

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

*If you work together, nothing more than basic civil communication about work.

[YWGMan]

She is divorced, she is the main problem i think or maybe she is not completely healed from her previous man. She needs to get her crap together. Leave her alone.

[Logic10]

She's straight friend zoning you now lol. You gotta cut off all contact, she's gonna start viewing you as a brother if she doesn't already.

[figureitout]

That is what it feels like to me as well (friend zoning) but she keeps referencing "right now," and "I still love you," "we don't know what the future holds" "I haven't dated anyone yet because I haven't wanted to" etc. which is what is driving me insane thinking all this through.

 

So if we've spoken practically every day with the exception of say the 5x I have gone no contact, though those have lasted a week max (and just t clarify the NC periods did not end because I reached out to her but rather because she called me ballistic that I was ignoring her) should I have a talk or send her and email telling her something along the lines of needing to close this chapter/make a clean break or whatever because this just isn't healthy? It seems, with all we've been through and with the time she has given me post break to talk through all our issues that I shouldn't just ghost her. Thoughts?

 

And to answer the folks who have said here that my intentions would be to get back together with her - of course you are right. We had an amazing and lengthy time together and knowing that misunderstandings and miscommunications have gotten between us which should be so easily cleared up along with how well we get along day to day even if broken up does make me want the old us or even a new better us back. I have told her that I have no interest in a platonic relationship with her so there are no misgivings there.

[figureitout]

2 year relationship (34 year old mother of two, divorced, broke up with me), 5 month break up, reconciled for a short period of time. Have gone NC 5x during the 5 months but never get beyond a week because she, the ex that broke up with me, calls up ballistic that I am ignoring her and then we end up having great conversations but don't get back together because she "isn't ready to dive back into a relationship yet." Every day other than those 5x I have cut her off she calls or texts me. I have not reached out to her unsolicited otherwise.

 

I think its time to pull the lifeline and not be friend zoned. Given that we spent 2 years together, she reaches out every day and has been there and wanting to talk about the issues we experienced and resolutions made I feel a bit like a jerk if I just ghost her all of the sudden (she definitely experienced a bit of emotional abandonment with the ex husband).

 

Should I have a last talk with her or send her an email simply saying that this is a chapter of life I have to close and a brief explanation as to why? Seems like the right thing to do but some say just block her. That seems so cold and, if the time came down the road where neither of us have moved on with our lives, I would like to keep the door open for a reconciliation but I also need to take my own sanity into account and try to move on which I know can't be done with us talking every day.

 

Also, should I unfriend on facebook and intsagram?

Edited March 17, 2016 by figureitout
add question

[Redhead14]

2 year relationship (34 year old mother of two, divorced, broke up with me), 5 month break up, reconciled for a short period of time. Have gone NC 5x during the 5 months but never get beyond a week because she, the ex that broke up with me, calls up ballistic that I am ignoring her and then we end up having great conversations but don't get back together because she "isn't ready to dive back into a relationship yet." Every day other than those 5x I have cut her off she calls or texts me. I have not reached out to her unsolicited otherwise.

 

I think its time to pull the lifeline and not be friend zoned. Given that we spent 2 years together, she reaches out every day and has been there and wanting to talk about the issues we experienced and resolutions made I feel a bit like a jerk if I just ghost her all of the sudden (she definitely experienced a bit of emotional abandonment with the ex husband).

 

Should I have a last talk with her or send her an email simply saying that this is a chapter of life I have to close and a brief explanation as to why? Seems like the right thing to do but some say just block her. That seems so cold and, if the time came down the road where neither of us have moved on with our lives, I would like to keep the door open for a reconciliation but I also need to take my own sanity into account and try to move on which I know can't be done with us talking every day.

 

No contact is implemented after a clear conversation happens that ends the relationship. After that's been communicated, you go no contact from that point forward. You don't go back and forth. If it's over, it's over.

 

You don't just say to yourself one day, I'm going no contact because I don't want this relationship anymore . . . You tell her you're moving on and that you don't want to talk about it anymore and then make it clear by deleting and blocking her number.

[Satu]

If you want to go NC, go NC, but don't fool yourself into believing that you are doing it, when you're not.

 

So far you haven't done it.

 

You can't do NC and "keep the door open for a reconciliation."

 

Thats pure nonsense.

 

NC is not a 'must.'

 

It's an option; nothing more.

 

 

This is NC:

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[BC1980]

That is what it feels like to me as well (friend zoning) but she keeps referencing "right now," and "I still love you," "we don't know what the future holds" "I haven't dated anyone yet because I haven't wanted to" etc. which is what is driving me insane thinking all this through.

 

So if we've spoken practically every day with the exception of say the 5x I have gone no contact, though those have lasted a week max (and just t clarify the NC periods did not end because I reached out to her but rather because she called me ballistic that I was ignoring her) should I have a talk or send her and email telling her something along the lines of needing to close this chapter/make a clean break or whatever because this just isn't healthy? It seems, with all we've been through and with the time she has given me post break to talk through all our issues that I shouldn't just ghost her. Thoughts?

 

And to answer the folks who have said here that my intentions would be to get back together with her - of course you are right. We had an amazing and lengthy time together and knowing that misunderstandings and miscommunications have gotten between us which should be so easily cleared up along with how well we get along day to day even if broken up does make me want the old us or even a new better us back. I have told her that I have no interest in a platonic relationship with her so there are no misgivings there.

 

I'd probably just ghost on her. You both sound very dysfunctional together, and writing her again is likely to spark some drama.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

That is what it feels like to me as well (friend zoning) but she keeps referencing "right now," and "I still love you," "we don't know what the future holds" "I haven't dated anyone yet because I haven't wanted to" etc. which is what is driving me insane thinking all this through.

 

So if we've spoken practically every day with the exception of say the 5x I have gone no contact, though those have lasted a week max (and just t clarify the NC periods did not end because I reached out to her but rather because she called me ballistic that I was ignoring her) should I have a talk or send her and email telling her something along the lines of needing to close this chapter/make a clean break or whatever because this just isn't healthy? It seems, with all we've been through and with the time she has given me post break to talk through all our issues that I shouldn't just ghost her. Thoughts?

 

And to answer the folks who have said here that my intentions would be to get back together with her - of course you are right. We had an amazing and lengthy time together and knowing that misunderstandings and miscommunications have gotten between us which should be so easily cleared up along with how well we get along day to day even if broken up does make me want the old us or even a new better us back. I have told her that I have no interest in a platonic relationship with her so there are no misgivings there.

 

Ugh....man, you've gotta stop. You are seeing things that are not there and hoping for things that just aren't there. If she wanted to be with you again, she would be. This whole "we don't know what the future holds " crap is saying "I feel bad that I did this to someone, so here is something to cheer you up" Some dumpers feels remorse too as most aren't bad people., they just don't want to be with the dumpee anymore.

 

The entire ship has sailed and you're looking for it to come back to shore, but its out in the middle of the ocean. Still TALKING to her is just easing the process for her. Once she is fully removed, you'll never hear from her again I promise you that. Maybe one or twice in some freak interaction, but that's it. Actions speak WAY louder than words. You are not going to win this battle. Sorry that sounds harsh, but continued times touching the hot stove, you'll get burned.

[Satu]

When all the words have been said, there are no more words to be said.

[figureitout]

I'd probably just ghost on her. You both sound very dysfunctional together, and writing her again is likely to spark some drama.

Lol. Dysfunctional is probably the best description of our current whatever this is. Its literally f*&ked me up big time. Being 44 I've had my share of relationships, some short, some long term. On one long term relationship we decided mutually to end it. Not because there were necessarily bad things about it but neither of us ever wanted to pull the trigger and take it to the next level ie marriage. Other than that I have always been the dumper so this is the first time I've been dumped (though one girl cheated on me - and I left her as soon as I found out - so I guess calling myself the dumper in that case seems odd). On all other occasions I have gone NC and there has never been future connection. That is with the exception of my two longer term relationships where the girls contacted friends, family members and eventually me indicating they'd like to get back together. Neither are married or in relationships now which is kind of weird. In one case its been 20 years.

 

Needless to say this one is really odd to me and evidently hard to accept lol

 

In every other end to a relationship I easily compartmentalized, even in cases where I didn't want to. In this situation I have not even been able to force myself to focus on her bad qualities to ease up the idea of reconciliation. I mean, ok I was an ass but I was going through a life altering experience as I was transitioning out of a 14 year career. Little things bothered me that normally wouldn't have. So we fought but not in any devastating way. No throwing things, calling each other names or even cursing, etc. Just nit picky fights. And that is the true negative of her. Lack of empathy and an unwillingness to look at the situation for what it was and have us move on from it, especially after how much focus and effort I put into changing that part of myself. Though I keep repeating this negative about her to myself every day its not sticking. This girl has done quite the doozy on me.

Edited March 18, 2016 by figureitout
typo