PixieChix87 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I am 28, my ex is 26. We have a 3 year old son together. I got pregnant early into our relationship and it caused some issues but we worked through them. We were together for almost 4 years until he dumped me back at the end of August. The Tuesday before we broke up he came home from work really late. He said he was at the bar with his manager. Not long after being home a car pulled into the drive way, turned the headlights off and we walked outside. He wasnt out there long but he said it was this girl from work that they were hanging out at the bar and she picked up his work apron and he had hers. I got a weird vibe but assumed it was just my anxiety. He said there was nothing to worry about that she was just a work friend. The day before he dumped me we had a great day together. We had amazing sex, went out afterwards and got lunch before he went to work. The next day we got in a big fight and bam, it was over. Well now its November and guess who he is seeing. Yep that girl from work. I see him twice a week when he picks up and drops off our son. We talk a bit, I tell him I miss him and he gives me these nice tight hugs where he wraps his arms around me, squeezes me and sometimes rubs my back. When I ask if he misses me or if we can try to work on things he has been responding with lets not talk about that right now. I want nothing more than to be back in a relationship with him not only because he is the father of my son but because I do love and miss him. Ive sent him photos of my new hair color and he said he liked it and also noticed I wasnt wearing clothes (It was just a head shot but he saw my bare shoulders and said 'you are naked!' And 'yes I like your hair') Is there still hope that we can be together again someday? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I doubt it. Sounds like he did what my ex did. There was someone else on the scene and he took advantage of a fight to leave and set up with her. It is early days with this new woman so he is hedging his bets by not saying for sure with you. Even if he does come back, he will probably do it again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be really tough. To be honest, while he is dating this other women, it seems unlikely. Once he is bored with her he might change his mind, but the question is, can you trust him again? I understand why you trying so hard to get back together, I really do, but the problem is that you are letting him know that even though he left you to be with someone else, you will still take him back. You have made yourself so available that he knows he could have both of you whenever he likes, without having to commit. It sets a bad precedent for any future reconciliation. If you got back together and he gets the urge to sleep with someone else he will expect that you will take him back. I've seen it happen so many times, it is heartbreaking. From what you have said there has been no consequences for betrayal, only more positive attention, his ego must be huge right now. He is living like a carefree, single guy while you are left holding the baby, literally. I think you are selling yourself short. You are worth more than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I don't think there is much hope here. It sounds like you had the baby when he was 23, so he probably feels like he was forced to settle down at a young age. He might be scared that he never experienced anything else and feels he is still young enough to do so. I think Amelie is right that he is hedging his bets by avoiding talking about getting back together. I went through something similar, so I understand how you have hope. Even if you got back together, it wouldn't be the same. I can't imagine taking a man back, knowing he had been sleeping with someone else in the interim and that he'd left me to pursue her. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I dont mean to upset you by saying this but you have a 3 year old son and were together less than 4 years. So you got pregnant straight away in the relationship. It is entirely possible he never wanted to be with you that much and stayed only because of the child. Now the child is a little older he has left. I would stop any contact with him and limit it to discussion about your son only. Why are you showing him your new hairstyle when he has a new gf. Limit contact to talking about pick up and drop off only and don't hug him and ask to reconcile when he picks him up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Agreed with the replies you have been given. He stayed with you due to your pregnancy and tried to make it work because you have a son together but he probably came to the realization that he wanted to date other women and wouldn't be happy just sticking with you for the sake of your child. You're also throwing yourself at him so he knows he can come back at any time and you'll take him back. You need to come to terms with the possibility that he might never come back to be with you again so start opening yourself up to meeting new People and dating as well. It also might make him realize he doesn't want to lose you to another guy if he sees that you are starting to date. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 "lets not talk about that right now" = "No, but I don't want to tell you that in words. Can't you take a hint?" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts