My story about cant getting over it

[helaa]

So...My dear girlfriend of 11 months left me about 2 months ago.Not a single day passed that I didnt miss her.I cant believe that she left me at all,I dont have a clue how she endured after spending lovely days before she's breaking up with me.

 

I was bad boyfriend.Abused her.Not physically.But mentally,and it was very though on her.I know it.Im aware of it.I know my mistakes.She was my first.I simply didnt have enough experience on relationships.

 

Our 4 months of hell started when she randomly thinking about her crushes.I saw it on her facebook.She lied me about it.I tried to forgive and forget.I couldnt do it,it seems.I started to reflect my anger on her.Got angry over anything and everything.At the same time she continued to lie to me about this subject.We were fighting,a lot.We didnt know how 7 months passed by without any big argument.She says that she was thinking "we were not compatible".That 7 months were a honeymoon period,which I strongly disagree.We planned a future together,we had so many dreams.But,last 1 month I started to change.Change for her.Started to reduce my anger.I didnt get angry over nothing.Gave her space.She dont believe it.

 

So when school started,we had an argument.She told me nasty things and I dumped her with that anger.But I regretted that.She didnt want to come back,I begged,cried and all these pathetic behaviours.

 

 

She wasnt sure herself.Back and forth she started to miss me,the other day hate me.She wasnt sure about loving me at all.So a week ago she was nearly getting together with me.But we had an argument about jealousy...She was jealous about one other girl,and I was about one guy.So she didnt want to get back again.We cut contact.After that she didnt care for me.Not even looking my face.I asked if are we enemy or not.She answered "Im done with you,and Im sure I dont love you anymore,just move on."

 

I couldnt stand it.I get back to home.Didnt go out of bed for like 5 hours.But this time I felt,it was real.I lost her.But at the same time I couldnt let the hope go.I still hope if she can comeback.Im in NC right now.But as soon as I got any hint about she can comeback,Im good,if not Im feeling very bad.So that means Im still hoping for her to back.I dont know what to do anymore.Can you guys give me an advice?

 

Sorry for my awful english.

[Silver_star]

Sounds like emotional immaturity on both ends. A relationship has to have a good foundation of trust, understanding and open communication. It sounds like you were both lacking in all of those things. Take some time to be by yourselves, and grow.

 

 

You can miss someone deeply, but it doesn't mean they are good for you. I think that relationship sounds pretty toxic to the both of you. Take some time to breathe some fresh air. It's okay to NOT be in a relationship for a while.

[razze]

I was bad boyfriend.Abused her.Not physically.But mentally,and it was very though on her.I know it.Im aware of it.I know my mistakes.She was my first.I simply didnt have enough experience on relationships.

 

You abused her.

 

That has nothing whatsoever to do with "experience in relationships".

 

It has everything to do with the type of person you are, and that doesn't change after 100 relationships.

 

Learn how to treat people respectfully or learn to get dumped repeatedly.

 

Don't do it just to avoid being dumped, do it because, well being abusive isn't very nice.

[helaa]

Sounds like emotional immaturity on both ends. A relationship has to have a good foundation of trust, understanding and open communication. It sounds like you were both lacking in all of those things. Take some time to be by yourselves, and grow.

 

 

You can miss someone deeply, but it doesn't mean they are good for you. I think that relationship sounds pretty toxic to the both of you. Take some time to breathe some fresh air. It's okay to NOT be in a relationship for a while.

 

 

Actually no.I was trying to communicate all the time.She couldnt try to work things out face to face because she's weak in this subject.She simply didnt want to discuss things face to face.Only texting each other.

[helaa]

You abused her.

 

That has nothing whatsoever to do with "experience in relationships".

 

It has everything to do with the type of person you are, and that doesn't change after 100 relationships.

 

Learn how to treat people respectfully or learn to get dumped repeatedly.

 

Don't do it just to avoid being dumped, do it because, well being abusive isn't very nice.

 

Its not that way.I gave my best.Even she admits that Im the best thing happened on her life.She became better person because of me,as she says this.I did things because she lost trust and that leads to my bad behaviour,it isnt like I did these things out of nowhere.And the most important thing is,I didnt do these intentionally.She just didnt want to work things out.Im not trying to defend myself with all these,they are just wrong,awfully wrong.My point is this is not who I am.

[Silver_star]

Look i don't know exactly what you did or said to her, but you admit that you mentally abused her. You admitted it. But then you say that this is NOT who you are and everyone is wrong about you, well you need to REALLY take accountability for your actions and involvement in the break up. That means OWN your role in the relationship.

You are blaming her for your actions. "She lost trust and that leads to my bad behavior" . That's not a healthy approach. Just because someone loses trust in you or is jealous doesn't mean you lash out in what I assume were inappropriate ways.

 

 

And sorry to say, but your actions are what defines you. You are what you consistently do.

 

 

If you do not want to be that man, then learn from this and don't act like that next time.

[helaa]

Look i don't know exactly what you did or said to her, but you admit that you mentally abused her. You admitted it. But then you say that this is NOT who you are and everyone is wrong about you, well you need to REALLY take accountability for your actions and involvement in the break up. That means OWN your role in the relationship.

You are blaming her for your actions. "She lost trust and that leads to my bad behavior" . That's not a healthy approach. Just because someone loses trust in you or is jealous doesn't mean you lash out in what I assume were inappropriate ways.

 

 

And sorry to say, but your actions are what defines you. You are what you consistently do.

 

 

If you do not want to be that man, then learn from this and don't act like that next time.

 

 

Yeah you are right.Im also stating that it isnt a excuse to my mistakes.I learned all my mistakes.Thanks a lot for your precious comments.If you want to add anything that helps me get better as a person,I would appreciate it.

[Silver_star]

You don't need to be rude to me, first off.

 

 

I don't know you from Adam, and I am trying to help you realize that taking accountability for your role in things does make you a better person. It makes you more forgiving of others flaws when you realize you have your own.

[Silver_star]

You could also try taking some courses, getting some new hobbies. Volunteer. Personal development and growth stuff.

[lyons]

My point is this is not who I am.

 

Sure they are.

 

You did it, own it.

[helaa]

You don't need to be rude to me, first off.

 

 

I don't know you from Adam, and I am trying to help you realize that taking accountability for your role in things does make you a better person. It makes you more forgiving of others flaws when you realize you have your own.

 

I actually meant it.I agreed with you.I dont understand why you're still trying to harass me.Im already aware of my RESPONSIBILITY on this relationship and simply asking for an advice to get better.