Jump to content

Have been NC nine months, he asks if I'm seeing anyone?


Recommended Posts

Just responded truthfully - no, do have male roommate I've had before. Ut there's still nothing there.

 

Dunno if maybe he has a friend who he thinks might dig me....

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just responded truthfully - no, do have male roommate I've had before. Ut there's still nothing there.

 

Dunno if maybe he has a friend who he thinks might dig me....

 

 

 

Oh no. Sounds like he is bored and wants to play some games.

Even if it was his friends, how rude is that, to assume you need to be set up.

Just ignore him.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Why did you respond? You're now on day 1 NC.

 

Eh, because I have enough respect for myself not to hop in bed with him now, even if he does say all the right things. I dumped him (over a year ago) because I realized I had enough respect for myself to not stay with someone who wasn't interested in me as at least a trial life-partner rather than someone to hang with and screw.

 

Did apologize nine months ago for the way I did it, but was clear that my intention wss platonic friendship or agreeable acquaintances that shouldn't worry about a scene running into each other in public it friendship wasn't possible. We did converse some but never re-added each other to social media and the email chain fizzled, so I left it.

 

Edit: Then got that email. I have had successful friendships with exes, but even if he says he's really interested in more, I'm going to explain that one issue I think we had was that we weren't friends *before* dating, and dating progressed to screwing quickly. The only way anything will work is if we try to actually be friends for awhile, because we already know we have the physical chemistry. It's not going to be deliberate "hard to get" -- but if he really does value my company for more than just the sex, he'll agree. If not, he won't.

 

I've not had sex since being with him, and not for lack of offers. I'm too old for all the screwing around, I'm 35.

Edited by Lorelai
Mobile, got cut off
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Oh no. Sounds like he is bored and wants to play some games.

Even if it was his friends, how rude is that, to assume you need to be set up.

Just ignore him.

 

A little too late, but yeah, when he responded more this AM he said that he was "lonely", and suggested dinner rather than "Netflix and chill", which is a good sign.

 

I probably won't date him again. Now that I am not in love with him anymore, I see the places our life plans don't coincide, and that's important for stability.

 

But even if I am not the easiest person to date (who is, honestly?), I do make an effort to be a good ex. In this instance, I did something ****ty -- yes, I had valid reasons to end things, but was too cowardly to do it in person. I did it in email, with an offer of a F2F to discuss things once I had finally gotten the courage to pull the trigger and tell him how I felt, but still.... email.

 

So his offer of dinner, if nothing else, is something I will see as that F2F he declined back then. I owe him at least that, in the lines of being a decent ex.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Eh, because I have enough respect for myself not to hop in bed with him now, even if he does say all the right things. I dumped him (over a year ago) because I realized I had enough respect for myself to not stay with someone who wasn't interested in me as at least a trial life-partner rather than someone to hang with and screw.

 

Did apologize nine months ago for the way I did it, but was clear that my intention wss platonic friendship or agreeable acquaintances that shouldn't worry about a scene running into each other in public it friendship wasn't possible. We did converse some but never re-added each other to social media and the email chain fizzled, so I left it.

 

Edit: Then got that email. I have had successful friendships with exes, but even if he says he's really interested in more, I'm going to explain that one issue I think we had was that we weren't friends *before* dating, and dating progressed to screwing quickly. The only way anything will work is if we try to actually be friends for awhile, because we already know we have the physical chemistry. It's not going to be deliberate "hard to get" -- but if he really does value my company for more than just the sex, he'll agree. If not, he won't.

 

I've not had sex since being with him, and not for lack of offers. I'm too old for all the screwing around, I'm 35.

Okay, if you say so. What's your question / reason for posting here?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You claim you're too old for this but still indulging mediocrity. He wants a **** buddy. End of story.

 

Btw what adult says "Netflix and chill." I just recently learned it is slang that teens use. That right there says it all lol. He seems like an experienced player- knows you won't accept just "hanging out" so he is leading with dinner. Tread cautiously.

Link to post
Share on other sites

you are 35. You have no time to waste on stringers. Getting what you want - a partner - starts with saying no to what you do NOT want - stringers.

 

Irrelevant of staying friends or not... I mean he doesn't hate you, so you're cool. Pass his dinner offer, you know better.

Link to post
Share on other sites

oh and to have an ex asking you about your romantic life is a bit rude and intrusive. who cares about how many men you've slept with since the break up. You have broken up. Maybe you should see other men, otherwise it won't really feel like you've broken up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Okay, if you say so. What's your question / reason for posting here?

 

What's your reason for being combative from the moment I posted? I certainly didn't come here to get lectured before you knew anything really about the situation, though I responded as though it was an actual question instead of a rhetorical one.

 

I just heard "Netflix and chill" yesterday at thanksgiving because we were describing how my sister got with her husband decades ago - she went to watch a movie and left. Her niece called it "VHS and chill"

Link to post
Share on other sites
What's your reason for being combative from the moment I posted?

I'm not being combative, just trying to help. From your posts I can't figure out what you need help with? Did you have a question or was it just an informational / status update thread?

Link to post
Share on other sites

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/493521-treated-me-like-fwb-called-me-his-gf-said-he-didn-t-love-me-dumped-him

 

So he saw you less than once a month and went weeks without talking to you?

 

You dont owe him a F2F or anything. He was never your bf he was using you for occasional sex along with lots of others.

 

Now he's back after 9 months as his other sources are probably dry and he thinks he can score with you.

 

Look I get it. I really do. I was in a similar situation and I wish he'd come back.

 

If that's your thing and you want to go round the loop again, go for it. I probably would.

Link to post
Share on other sites

The asking you if you're seeing anyone is totally to see if he can get sex again.

 

My one did this. Asked the same exact question. Guess why. ....wanted sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...