anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I recently posted about how I had just met up with my LDR ex during Thanksgiving break. She told me that she had cried every single day for the two weeks that we'd been apart, but also insisted she did not want to discuss getting back together at all. This came across to me that she was doubting her decision, which made me (for reasons I don't understand) really desperate and basically beg for her back, even though I didn't even want to (shameful, I know). Basically, my question is why does she cry so often and miss me so much, but still believe this was the right thing to do? Why does this make me feel guilty, even though she was technically the one to initiate our breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 You ex sounds a bit manipulative. Link to post Share on other sites
itisdanielle Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Sometimes the people who end the relationship struggle too. Just because she ended it and doesn't want to get back together doesn't necessarily mean it's easy for her. I've known people who were the one to end the relationship that struggled and took a while to move on and get over their ex, even though they knew it was right to break up. But I don't think it's fair of her to tell you all of this... It's giving false hope, she made her decision so the right thing for her to do would be to not tell you things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 It means she likes you, and she liked being with you, but not enough to continue. You've been thrown back into the water and she's cast her net once again. Time for you to swim far, far away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 This is basically what I had been thinking. It's been a few days, so I'm definitely more accepting of this being the end. But I am a bit frustrated at how she manipulated me during the end of our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 She probably feels sad that it's ending and guilty that she hurt you. But she knows it's the right thing to do, and she maybe wishes she didn't feel this way. I've been in her shoes too. Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 It means she likes you, and she liked being with you, but not enough to continue. You've been thrown back into the water and she's cast her net once again. Time for you to swim far, far away. Yes this is so true. When I requested a face-face with my Ex 1 day after she broke up with my via phone..... when we met up she was the one crying the whole time. She kept switching between a strong face but then every few minutes she would just slip back into crying mode. I didn't cry or show any emotion, even though i was cut up on the inside. That was definitely a weird experience for me and definitely is a big reason why I may have harbored some hope for a reconciliation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Yes this is so true. When I requested a face-face with my Ex 1 day after she broke up with my via phone..... when we met up she was the one crying the whole time. She kept switching between a strong face but then every few minutes she would just slip back into crying mode. I didn't cry or show any emotion, even though i was cut up on the inside. That was definitely a weird experience for me and definitely is a big reason why I may have harbored some hope for a reconciliation. Yeah the mixed signals she sent me really are bugging me now. I feel like I could have saved it if I just didn't say this or didn't say that. The relationship was doomed regardless, and I wanted out as well, but I feel like I could still be comfortably miserable as I was before. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Don't interpret the crying as mixed signals. I had a girlfriend who started to break down while she was trying to end it. We never got back together despite it being well known for quite a while that I desperately wanted to. She just knew that she was crushing me and, since she cared deeply about me as a person, that cut her up, even though she knew she was doing the "right" thing. And then an example from the other side: When I left my last relationship, I knew I was doing what had to be done. It killed me, not just because I was leaving a relationship I had invested years in and countless amounts of energy and emotions; I was leaving behind two great kids who had come to view me as a dad. I'm not sure I shed a tear for her after I left, but I know darn well that I have gotten choked up and even done some crying since then when I think about those kids. I knew then and know now I was doing the right thing, but that didn't make it much easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Don't interpret the crying as mixed signals. I had a girlfriend who started to break down while she was trying to end it. We never got back together despite it being well known for quite a while that I desperately wanted to. She just knew that she was crushing me and, since she cared deeply about me as a person, that cut her up, even though she knew she was doing the "right" thing. And then an example from the other side: When I left my last relationship, I knew I was doing what had to be done. It killed me, not just because I was leaving a relationship I had invested years in and countless amounts of energy and emotions; I was leaving behind two great kids who had come to view me as a dad. I'm not sure I shed a tear for her after I left, but I know darn well that I have gotten choked up and even done some crying since then when I think about those kids. I knew then and know now I was doing the right thing, but that didn't make it much easier. This helps a lot. Oddly enough, having no hope for a future with her is the best kind of hope to have Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Right on. And don't beat up yourself when you feel differently to that statement, even when you know it to be true. Ride those waves, buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author anonymousbear00101100 Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Right on. And don't beat up yourself when you feel differently to that statement, even when you know it to be true. Ride those waves, buddy. I needed this. Thank you. It's been a hard day haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts