Im confused, my girlfriend broke up with me but she still spends the night.

[fickey21]

My girlfriend decided to call it quits after a year of dating. She told me she still loved me but she wasn't sure if she saw herself with me in the future. im really confused by this and im not sure how to grasp this situation. This girl means the world to me and i have been depressed for the last month. she was such a blessing in my heart. everything just seemed possible when i was with her. Were both broke college students so we really didn't have the money to go out as much as we would have liked to.

 

I guess i could have given her more attention and told her more of my feelings. There were times when i used stay up playing video games with my friends while she went to bed. I guess i lost the spark i once had for her. I Just didn't realize how much i cared for her until she was gone and now it feels like a thorn in my heart. She gave me true happiness and i felt so good when i was with her. i always say i would rather feel like a million bucks than have a million bucks any day of the year. Money can buy you things that make you happy but money can never buy happiness. happiness itself is priceless.

 

She did so many things for me and i just didn't give her the appreciation she deserved. Things just felt normal and our fire was slowly dying out. When she broke up with me it didn't seem to bother me at first. After a few weeks it hit me and i became really emotional. I know everything happens for a reason. God sent her in my life and now he has taken her away. Maybe God is trying to show her something i couldn't when we were together. I pray everyday for the both of us. i pray that God will bring her happiness and that he will watch over her and guide her threw the hard times. I pray for happiness for myself and to give me initiative to get through this semester. Mainly, i pray for two things, i pray that we will get back together or that god will strengthen my heart so i can go on with my life.

 

Im a smart kid and i know school needs to be the most important thing in my life right now. Its just really hard to get all my work done when she is on my mind all the time. i just don't want to let go of her.

 

This is where my emotions start to stir up. She broke up with me but she still comes over 3 or 4 times a week. I try to act like i don't like her but it just hurts me more. She even spends the night occasionally and tells me to hold her when we go to sleep. It really makes me happy when she's here but it hurts me more the next day. I don't understand what i should think about this situation. We hang out all the time and were really close to each other when she comes over. We go out to diner then go see a movie, toped off with getting in my hot tube at the end of the evening. She spent the night last night and were going out to dinner tonight. I want to tell her how i really feel but im scared of losing her completely. It still seems like she wants to be with me but i don't know. If she doesn't want to be with me then she is being really selfish and wrong. I can be really close to her but i cant kiss her and well u know. How should i handle this? What do i do if she doesn't feel the same way? Im just not happy anymore unless im with her.

[SoleMate]

Read His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard Harley and become an expert in meeting her most important emotional needs, like affection, conversation, and recreational companionship. This will make you irresistible.

 

I hope that taking a quick trip to the bookstore is not too much effort....???

[ReluctantRomeo]

I agree with Solemate... but you should also think about No Contact, in case plan A doesn't work.

 

Good luck! Keep us posted on how things develop.

[johnnyapples]

You should definitely talk to her about her needs and what she wants. I'm giong through some major rehaul of a relationship right now myself -- but I've been in your exact same shoes in the past. The best way to handle this specific situation is to be proud of who you are and be strong. You need to know what you really want. My suggestion is to tell her the truth that you enjoy her company, but you are also emotionally hurt at the same time. And try to see if you can get a break from her. Tell her that you will have a temporary NC period and see how you and she feel. Its a cooling off period -- but the important thing is to stick to it. Like 2 weeks or something -- no emails/calls, etc. Then see how you and she feel about each other and take it from there. It just seems that neither of you are willing to let go and neither is strong enough to tell the other one to stop. Good luck ....

[clynn]

I'd say tell her you need a couple weeks (I know it seems like forever) to be on your own, but be clear it is about yourself and figuring out what is right for you and that it isn't at all an indication of how you feel about her, because this you are clear on.

 

Then maybe ask her out for coffee or a light date after the time apart.

 

This will give you both time to have the break and have your heads settle. Then you can figure out what you want on your own. It may be that she is needing certain things from the relationship you were not giving her and the time apart is healthy.