I'm Torn (A Dream Relationship)

[J722]

I'm torn.

 

This hasn't really ever happened to me, I mean, yes I have felt hurt before but this one is an entire new experience.

 

I recently moved to a new city for a complete lifestyle change and within a month of being here, met someone incredibly special, by complete chance (and intuition on my part).

 

We connected like I never have with someone before.

 

Our mindset, our energy, our passion, our interests, our beliefs about the world were so in line that we would lose ourselves in conversations and time would be an illusion.

 

We went from 0 MPH to 100 MPH and probably broke many dating "rules" in terms of timing.

 

I was the most vulnerable I had ever been because I was truly "ready" to show up as a complete Man in a relationship, I had been working on myself for years and years, whereas in the past I was guarded.

 

The messages we sent eachother were genuine and authentic.

 

Specifically from her, telling me:

 

"I see myself being with you for a very, very long time".

 

"You are the Man of my dreams in every way possible."

 

"You are an angel to me".

 

....you get the drill.

 

One thing of context you should know is that while we lived 20-25 minutes away, we were both extremely busy and only got to see eachother 1-2 times per week.

 

Once we officially become boyfriend / girlfriend, we:

 

• Created non negotiables for a relationship
  
• Made committments and what we wanted
  
• Talked about our goals relative to eachother
  
• Shared these together and spoke of blunt honesty to one another
  
• Created a weekly form we would fill out to write down weekly updates about how we felt, where we could improve and more
  

 

I mean, this was a relationship with a foundation like I've never seen.

 

Two driven people connected and committed to being their best selves.

 

Anyway, I want to fast forward to something that happened last week.

 

I was away in a different city for the weekend at a seminar, and we missed eachother a ton.

 

Even though the seminar was 40 hours in 2 days, plus driving to this city (7 hours each way), I really wanted to see her on the way home.

 

I told her I was literally mentally and physically exhausted but wanted to see her, even for an hour or two.

 

I got to her place, we hung out, she actually gave me a massage (with a beautiful love note), we made love, hung out, and then when I started to leave, she was (playfully) trying to hold me back.

 

To keep this in a nutshell...

 

• I got frustrated at one point when I wanted to go and she wouldn't let me
  
• I lied to her about going to get groceries that night (she was concerned I hadn't eaten a lot of food, and I told her what she wanted to hear).
  
• We had an energy disconnect and our worst goodbye to date (just very mechanical)
  
• She called me on the ride home and I didn't answer
  

 

The next day I operated as things were normal, although I knew something had happened the night before.

 

She was pretty normal too, but wanted to talk so we had a phone call a day or two later.

 

It went awesome to start, fun, playful, connecting...then we spoke about Sunday.

 

She basically said:

 

"If you lied about getting groceries to my face, that made me feel you could lie about anything".

 

"You showed me a side of you that I hadn't seen...an angry, frustrated, cold side".

 

"I questioned the relationship that very night, I thought we were over".

 

I was shocked.

 

I mean I know track record means little to the feminine, but the prior 12 weeks were full of connection, caring, love, intensity.

 

She cooled off the rest of the week, although did tell me to end the call she was 100% committed to us and growing and that right now is all that mattered and Sunday was over.

 

I noticed that week she was less emotionally available.

 

She took longer to respond to messages and sometimes skipped a morning or night (something that never happened), some messages seemed "forced".

 

When she did message, she sounded stressed and tired (and she's one of the busiest people I've ever met, but I hadn't seen this).

 

I told her flat out:

 

I feel way less love from you this week.

 

We were hanging out on the weekend, per usual, and knew we would discuss what was going on.

 

She told me she had some big things happen in her life, some decisions to make with work, and had family issues and I deeply care about her and told her I was here for anything.

 

The weekend comes around and off the gate, I could tell the energy was off.

 

She was colder, less intimate, and simply different. I knew we had a ton to talk about so we went to a private place (her place, her bed) to discuss things.

 

She had a list of about 10 things that were concerning her, everything from what happened the prior weekend coming back from my trip, to other small issues -- honestly, nothing major.

 

At this point she mentioned she was less excited about the relationship and also mentioned that I was doing some things that reminder her of her prior one and because she went into this so fast, it was very hard on her.

 

She also mentioned she had received a new job offer, had a huge family fight (which has always been a source of frustration) and more.

 

NOTE: When I met her, she had come off a 5 year relationship with someone who she lived with, she was cheated on and the last 2.5 years of it seemed rather toxic (although I know there are two sides to every story).

 

She had a one month break, then met me.

 

I did my best to listen deeply and empathize with her, not argue back about anything but listen to her feelings.

 

I told her this was our first conflict and I appreciated the list she gave me because me and her had committed to growth -- and that's what this was an opportunity for.

 

I told her how I felt, what I wanted and we kind of went into this emotional place where we both cried, shared a lot of memories, feelings, even wrote eachother notes, engaged physically (although not a ton) and to be honest, it's very cloudy -- it lasted a few hours, but when I left her place, I had no idea what we were. We both cried, it was blurry as hell, etc.

 

She kept mentioning the words "timing", and her prior relationship leaving unhealed wounds, and more.

 

She called me on the ride home.

 

I didn't sleep that night, at all --- I was a mess because of the confusion.

 

This relationship had been a rock just a few days prior, or maybe a week -- where we did we go wrong, so quickly, with seemingly small things?

 

I reached out to her the next day and said that I wanted to talk to her now that the emotions had died down and we could be more clear.

 

One voicenote.

One text.

 

No response.

 

I have unconditonal love for her (or the closest thing to it), in that I do want her happiness even if it doesn't involve me, I have zero negative feelings for her.

 

Now, I have no idea what to do.

 

This was my dream relationship, my dream women, and truly the first time I ever thought "this could be the one". I promise I don't say that lightly, I am someone who also loves being alone and working on me.

 

I know many people say that, but I've never truly, deeply, felt that before.

 

And now she's not even responding.

 

So my question for you all is:

 

Where do I go from here? Part of me says, forget it and initiate no contact with her.

 

The other part says "this is so special to you, everything your intuition has told you about this girl, from the day you met, has been accurate --- risk everything to make this work".

 

Cliffnotes:

 

• Met this girl 14 weeks ago and we went from 0-100 very quickly
  
• We started officially dating and had a very deep connection
  
• Emotionally, physically, energetically, mentally we were both in deep
  
• We had our first "conflict" -- a small disagreement last weekend
  
• She cooled off after that, emotionally and frequency of contact, etc
  
• We met the weekend, and the energy was still off
  
• We spoke of the issues and she came to me with a list of about 10 other seemingly small details that she was concerned about as well as her having to make a big decision about a job offer and a pretty intense family fight
  
• We had an emotional discussion that ended with no clarity
  
• She had come off a 5 year relationship, with a 1 month break then met me
  
• She has been very stressed lately because of family issues and a super demanding work schedule, but we still made time for eachother
  

 

Now, to address some questions, this is purely based on what I believe to be real from her:

 

1. I don't think she was/is going back to her prior relationship in any shape, way or form.

 

2. I don't think someone new showed up out of the blue although my skeptic side feeds this, I would find it very, very surprising.

 

3. From analyzing the situation, I feel like I may be being held accountable for her prior relationship's issues (I may be off here, but let me know).

 

That's where I am.

 

I highly appreciate anyone who can provide some perspective, guidance or anything else that may help me move forward in any way.

Edited November 24, 2015 by J722
Typo

[Michelle ma Belle]

The operative word here is "dream" relationship. You were living in a bubble.

 

Relationships with this much intensity simply can not sustain itself for the long haul. It's impossible. This was inevitable particularly since she clearly hasn't healed from her past relationship.

 

Sometimes we need to let things go to see if it returns. Sometimes it does but sometimes it doesn't regardless of how amazing it appeared to be.

 

You need to give her space and let her figure this out for herself unfortunately.

[J722]

The operative word here is "dream" relationship. You were living in a bubble.

 

Relationships with this much intensity simply can not sustain itself for the long haul. It's impossible. This was inevitable particularly since she clearly hasn't healed from her past relationship.

 

Sometimes we need to let things go to see if it returns. Sometimes it does but sometimes it doesn't regardless of how amazing it appeared to be.

 

You need to give her space and let her figure this out for herself unfortunately.

 

I appreciate your perspective.

 

I know, there was a part of me that was thinking this was good to be true, but we both communicated about it so often and even addressed the concept of a "dream" relationship.

 

Funny thing is, we're both entrepreneurial and she many times, discussed creating a product off our relationship one day to help others (makes no sense now, since we didn't last one fight, but just for context).

 

One other note: she did mention several times that night she wanted to see me again, there was just no clarity.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Discussing all the hypotheticals in a relationship may seem admiralable but isn't the same as actually going through them and experiencing them day in and day out. The fact that it fell apart after one argument says it all. The irony is that was real. There are going to be days when you're tired and cranky and pissy and where we tell little white lies to save our partners feelings or avoid small arguments from turning into monumental ones. That's life. That's real.

 

It appears you have your sh*t together but she's clearly struggling which will make things very challenging. If you stick it out with her you're going to have to expect more of the same. These are HER issues and only she can fix them.

 

The question you need to ask yourself is if she's worth the fight?

[m4p]

From what I see it's pretty simple. You lied. I think that lying, any form of lying is a major trigger for her having just come out from a long term relationship and being cheated on.

 

I believe she truly went into this relationship with you 100% commited but finding out that you lied just gave her a wake up call and question if this is as perfect as it seems. She is now withdrawing because she cannot trust you. It's a defense mechanism and I don't blame her. Once bitten twice shy.

 

You might say that this is such a trivia thing but it's not about what you lied about. It's more of why would you even lie over such a meaningless thing.

 

If I just entered into a new relationship and I find out that my boyfriend lied about something minor, I will seriously question the validity/authenticity of the person I'm seeing. Is he really who he is? What else have he lied about? It can also be a possible deal breaker. I don't want to get hurt again. After all, isn't a relationship built entirely on trust?

 

This is exactly how I would react if I were to be in this situation , just my 2 cents worth...

[J722]

Thanks, Michelle -- you're absolutely right about the hypotheticals.

 

Only when they are tested do you actually see the truth.

 

And yes, I will say, humbly --- I do have my **** together. I work on myself every single day and I am deeply rooted in self development in all areas of life, thing is, she may not be as "successful" as I am, but shares a very similar mindset.

 

Seeing your question, my intuition says yes, but there's obviously still plenty of left over emotions.

 

I deleted her number last night because the thread was way too intense, full of audionotes, loving messages, etc.

[J722]

From what I see it's pretty simple. You lied. I think that lying, any form of lying is a major trigger for her having just come out from a long term relationship and being cheated on.

 

I believe she truly went into this relationship with you 100% commited but finding out that you lied just gave her a wake up call and question if this is as perfect as it seems. She is now withdrawing because she cannot trust you. It's a defense mechanism and I don't blame her. Once bitten twice shy.

 

You might say that this is such a trivia thing but it's not about what you lied about. It's more of why would you even lie over such a meaningless thing.

 

If I just entered into a new relationship and I find out that my boyfriend lied about something minor, I will seriously question the validity/authenticity of the person I'm seeing. Is he really who he is? What else have he lied about? It can also be a possible deal breaker. I don't want to get hurt again. After all, isn't a relationship built entirely on trust?

 

This is exactly how I would react if I were to be in this situation , just my 2 cents worth...

 

THANK YOU.

 

I agree with what you're saying. I lied about getting groceries, but that doesn't matter.

 

I lied.

 

And there was another time she caught me lying about something trivial and dumb about my dog --- I don't even know why I did it.

 

I knew in the moment I was caught, and she didn't mention, but she did mention it this past weekend.

 

Thing is, I have flaws like everyone else.

 

She kept telling me many times:

 

"You're perfect".

 

And I'd say...

 

"Babe, I'm not perfect. I'm doing my best. I have flaws and issues that I need to work on. However, I'm perfect for you."

 

Reason being I didn't want her to have this flawless image of me, and to be honest, that is a lot of pressure.

 

Would you just recommend giving her complete space?

[Michelle ma Belle]

Thanks, Michelle -- you're absolutely right about the hypotheticals.

 

Only when they are tested do you actually see the truth.

 

And yes, I will say, humbly --- I do have my **** together. I work on myself every single day and I am deeply rooted in self development in all areas of life, thing is, she may not be as "successful" as I am, but shares a very similar mindset.

 

Seeing your question, my intuition says yes, but there's obviously still plenty of left over emotions.

 

I deleted her number last night because the thread was way too intense, full of audionotes, loving messages, etc.

 

Give her some space. You can be there for her if you really want to but just be prepared for more of the same or at least until she gets herself together. You might also need to consider the possibility that she might never get to that point either. That is the risk you run when dating someone who hasn't healed emotionally from their past relationship(s).

 

If she has a similar mindset then perhaps she's on her way but (again) she folded quickly when things got a bit tough so this may take much longer than you both realize.

 

Just don't be the guy who spends a lifetime trying to fix his partner or worse, trying to convince her that you're meant to be together. You've done a lot of work on yourself which is amazing and refreshing to hear. Don't let anyone jeopardize that. Sometimes relationships are about timing. Keep that in mind moving forward with her.

 

Good luck.

[m4p]

THANK YOU.

 

I agree with what you're saying. I lied about getting groceries, but that doesn't matter.

 

I lied.

 

And there was another time she caught me lying about something trivial and dumb about my dog --- I don't even know why I did it.

 

I knew in the moment I was caught, and she didn't mention, but she did mention it this past weekend.

 

Thing is, I have flaws like everyone else.

 

She kept telling me many times:

 

"You're perfect".

 

And I'd say...

 

"Babe, I'm not perfect. I'm doing my best. I have flaws and issues that I need to work on. However, I'm perfect for you."

 

Reason being I didn't want her to have this flawless image of me, and to be honest, that is a lot of pressure.

 

Would you just recommend giving her complete space?

 

Perhaps you can look at this another way. Her idea of you being perfect and telling you so isn't necessarily the same "perfect you" image that you see yourself and hold high standards to. You shouldn't put unrealistic expectations of yourself and what you *think* you *should* behave just to match up to an ideal image you *think* she will love. If she loves you, she should be loving your quirks and inside and out and all. Maybe you can tell her that you're feeling pressured because you want to be the best boyfriend in the world and ask her, what exactly does she love about you? You might be surprised. The way one answers this question tells a lot about how they feel about you. If her answers are pretty much superficial (etc. you're hot, I like your toned body, I like that you're earning a stable income) vs (I like the way you smile when you're looking at me, I love how you're a gentlemen and makes me feel secure)

 

Having said that, lying is NOT a flaw.. Lying is simply not right. Yes you're not perfect BUT you shouldn't be lying too. Are you able to identify the cause of why you're not being able to be honest with her sometimes? Could it be you feeling pressured and afraid to disappoint her for some reasons and found it easier to lie? This shouldn't be the way.. To love someone you should be able to be yourself and be honest to them. Goes both ways. Wouldn't you expect the same from her?

 

As for her list of grievances, I'm not sure if this means you shouldn't invest your time in her anymore. Are those things she mentioned reasonable? Is it valid?

 

You sound rather analytical and probably have a list of pros and cons lying around to help you decide to keep or give up this relationship.

 

Ultimately it is what you feel about her. If you have a chance to have a good talk with her then take this chance to be open to her. Tell her you're willing to do anything to make this relationship works but it goes both ways as a relationship needs to be balanced to both parties' needs.

 

I think somehow she is still suffering from some after effects of her previous relationship.. She might need some constant assurance that you won't turn out like "him". It seems she might have a bit of phobia because of that. If it's a non issue to you, and she loves you and you love her, then give it a shot- tell her what you truly feel and you want this to work. You've nothing to lose. If you're no longer feeling the same level of commitment from her, then perhaps you both need some space to think logically and rationally.

[J722]

Perhaps you can look at this another way. Her idea of you being perfect and telling you so isn't necessarily the same "perfect you" image that you see yourself and hold high standards to. You shouldn't put unrealistic expectations of yourself and what you *think* you *should* behave just to match up to an ideal image you *think* she will love. If she loves you, she should be loving your quirks and inside and out and all. Maybe you can tell her that you're feeling pressured because you want to be the best boyfriend in the world and ask her, what exactly does she love about you? You might be surprised. The way one answers this question tells a lot about how they feel about you. If her answers are pretty much superficial (etc. you're hot, I like your toned body, I like that you're earning a stable income) vs (I like the way you smile when you're looking at me, I love how you're a gentlemen and makes me feel secure)

 

Having said that, lying is NOT a flaw.. Lying is simply not right. Yes you're not perfect BUT you shouldn't be lying too. Are you able to identify the cause of why you're not being able to be honest with her sometimes? Could it be you feeling pressured and afraid to disappoint her for some reasons and found it easier to lie? This shouldn't be the way.. To love someone you should be able to be yourself and be honest to them. Goes both ways. Wouldn't you expect the same from her?

 

As for her list of grievances, I'm not sure if this means you shouldn't invest your time in her anymore. Are those things she mentioned reasonable? Is it valid?

 

You sound rather analytical and probably have a list of pros and cons lying around to help you decide to keep or give up this relationship.

 

Ultimately it is what you feel about her. If you have a chance to have a good talk with her then take this chance to be open to her. Tell her you're willing to do anything to make this relationship works but it goes both ways as a relationship needs to be balanced to both parties' needs.

 

I think somehow she is still suffering from some after effects of her previous relationship.. She might need some constant assurance that you won't turn out like "him". It seems she might have a bit of phobia because of that. If it's a non issue to you, and she loves you and you love her, then give it a shot- tell her what you truly feel and you want this to work. You've nothing to lose. If you're no longer feeling the same level of commitment from her, then perhaps you both need some space to think logically and rationally.

 

Very helpful and I appreciate you taking the time -- this process is in fact, very healing and clarifying.

 

She has always answered what she loves about me and it has never been superficial: my drive, my ambition, how much I care for her, how she feels secure and safe with me, my energy, my passion, etc.

 

In terms of why I lied to her a few times: I simply don't know. I do think it was because of pressure, but also some frustration (the groceries for example, I did want to get food, but not that night, I was exhausted) and just said I was going to appease her in the moment. When I lied about my dog it was something random I said when we first met, it came up again, and I was caught, I can't really say why that happened.

 

The list she had was valid, for sure. I mean the fact she had a list, to me, showed she still wanted the relationship, if not -- why come up with such a detailed list? They included everything from the small lies to one time feeling like I was frustrated that she was on her period (and couldn't have sex), to feeling disrespected one day when I had a meeting and rushed her out of my apartment, to her saying that she didn't like how I would get stressed when I was late to meeting her, etc.

 

I'm very left brain, yes -- for sure, although I've been working hard on being vulnerable and open and understanding my own emotions and letting them out. She's also the most left-brain Woman I've been with as well -- which is interesting, maybe this dynamic doesn't work well?

 

Honestly, even if I did my best to come up with hard-cold reality cons, I would be all in with this relationship in a heartbeat.

 

The thing is, I don't even think I can secure the meeting to have that conversation based on her non-responsiveness and I am certainly not someone to show up unannounced or do something crazy.

[VeveCakes]

I feel like its very telling how upset she was over one little incident.

 

I don't know...I have forgiven much worse. How could she change her tune so quickly because you had to leave and lied about groceries? Big whoop. Sounds like she can't handle any sort of conflict.

[J722]

I feel like its very telling how upset she was over one little incident.

 

I don't know...I have forgiven much worse. How could she change her tune so quickly because you had to leave and lied about groceries? Big whoop. Sounds like she can't handle any sort of conflict.

 

Yeah I mean, it was such a small instance -- for me it was like hey, we said we could work through anything and that happened?

 

Here's a note she sent me a week prior:

 

"We will maintain a solid relationship filled with positivity, inspiration and the strength to continue overcoming anything that comes our way. This will live on forever".

 

I mean, that's some deep stuff -- and I'm a deep guy, I just find it hard to believe she felt that way 8 days prior to this and now it's suddenly over.

[Amelie1980]

OP that long post was embarrassing to read...you sound far too invested in what (to her) was never a serious relationship.

 

All of that effort would be better spent on yourself.

 

All of that from her was just words.

 

Spending hours crying, connecting, sympathising, listening to each others problems, hearing all about her ex....feeling blurry as hell.

 

God.

 

That does not sound fun. This is car crash reality tv.

 

It was no dream, the reality is one fight broke it.

Edited November 24, 2015 by Amelie1980

[J722]

OP that long post was embarrassing to read...you sound far too invested in what (to her) was never a serious relationship.

 

All of that effort would be better spent on yourself.

 

All of that from her was just words.

 

Spending hours crying, connecting, sympathising, listening to each others problems, hearing all about her ex....feeling blurry as hell.

 

God.

 

That does not sound fun. This is car crash reality tv.

 

It was no dream, the reality is one fight broke it.

 

I'm a writer, which is why it was long.

 

I appreciate your perspective.

 

However, this was a very serious relationship to her. I know that -- based on her actions more than anything. I don't think you give someone a Word document with 5 pages of visions for the relationship if you're not serious -- on your own accord, no less.

 

I'll say this: I was in a 2.5 year relationship prior to this, and that wasn't anywhere as serious as this was.

Edited November 24, 2015 by J722
tupo

[Amelie1980]

I'm a writer, which is why it was long.

 

I appreciate your perspective.

 

However, this was a very serious relationship to her. I know that -- based on her actions more than anything. I don't think you give someone a Word document with 5 pages of visions for the relationship if you're not serious -- on your own accord, no less.

 

I think someone who gives a 5 page document of visions for the future in a relationship that lasted 14 weeks is a MASSIVE red flag. It didnt mean she was serious. It meant she had a screw loose.

 

Based on her actions. ......she walked at the first hint of trouble. That spoke much louder than her 5 pages.

[VeveCakes]

If she gave you a 5 page letter with relationship visions then a week later can't work through something so petty - makes me think the thrill is in the new for her.

 

She sounds really unstable honestly.

[Amelie1980]

If she gave you a 5 page letter with relationship visions then a week later can't work through something so petty - makes me think the thrill is in the new for her.

 

She sounds really unstable honestly.

 

I am really sorry to say (no malice intended) they both sound very unstable.

[J722]

If she gave you a 5 page letter with relationship visions then a week later can't work through something so petty - makes me think the thrill is in the new for her.

 

She sounds really unstable honestly.

 

Define "unstable" -- not arguing, just need to know what context.

[J722]

I think someone who gives a 5 page document of visions for the future in a relationship that lasted 14 weeks is a MASSIVE red flag. It didnt mean she was serious. It meant she had a screw loose.

 

Based on her actions. ......she walked at the first hint of trouble. That spoke much louder than her 5 pages.

 

I can see this and it was a massive red flag for me to which I communicated to her.

 

I told her straight up, we're getting tested and we are going to fold?

 

My feelings is her prior relationship was largely to blame, i.e. she got reminded of the negative parts of relationships (energy, conflict, second-guessing, etc).

[Amelie1980]

Look at her behavior.

 

You think all these declarations and lists of visions and grievances and crying for hours together is a good thing? This isnt normal and you shouldn't think it is.

 

One definition of the word unstable:

 

prone to psychiatric problems or sudden changes of mood.

 

"he was mentally unstable"

 

synonyms:

 

unbalanced,*of unsound mind,mentally ill,*deranged,*demented,crazed,*distracted,*troubled,disturbed,*unhinged,*insane,*mad, mad as a hatter,*mad as a March hare,*raving mad,*lunatic,*out of one's mind/head,*not in one's right mind,neurotic,*psychotic;*

 

Bingo.

 

I'm done here.

[VeveCakes]

Unstable - meaning she was hell bent in love with you - writing obsessive letters about your future...then the next week telling you she doesn't know how she feels and not even responding to texts? A stable person would be there, like a rock, to talk with you through issues, be there for you, support you.

 

If this behavior occurs now in the early days, and over basically nothing, imagine what would happen if there were real problems.

 

I think you might have been a rebound. Sorry

[Clarkwg]

I too am thinking rebound.

Have I got this right?

1 month out of a 5 year relationship in which she got cheated on for half of it?

 

Add in the mix a lot of too soon intensity & now a total blank of all your attempts to contact her after the minorist of issues, I think you could well have been a rebound.

 

 

What I would be more concerned about is if she does recycle with you then shuts you out again over something & nothing because from what you have said I do kind of agree with others it is a little odd.

[J722]

Unstable - meaning she was hell bent in love with you - writing obsessive letters about your future...then the next week telling you she doesn't know how she feels and not even responding to texts? A stable person would be there, like a rock, to talk with you through issues, be there for you, support you.

 

If this behavior occurs now in the early days, and over basically nothing, imagine what would happen if there were real problems.

 

I think you might have been a rebound. Sorry

 

Thanks for this, I hadn't considered the rebound.

 

As I know it, rebounds are usually based on sex and more physical attributes, with less actual connections and matching of core values, right?

 

I just feel like rebounds have less depth, or maybe I'm wrong.

 

She rarely mentioned her ex, wanted to meet my family (and did),

was guarded physically early on, etc.

 

Open to consider it for sure, it does make me think.

 

And yes, going from the intensity she displayed to going super cold to me is mind-blowing, which is why I'm here, to possibly gain some perspective.

Edited November 24, 2015 by J722
Addition

[VeveCakes]

I think rebound could be emotional too.

 

I think she is unstable, as I have already said. Thus the wacky flip flop behavior. It's strange and also very unfair to you.

[J722]

I think rebound could be emotional too.

 

I think she is unstable, as I have already said. Thus the wacky flip flop behavior. It's strange and also very unfair to you.

 

True and I agree.

 

I would say I never saw any patterns of this behavior or big inconsistencies with her moods, even during her period.

 

But maybe it was all a front and an act. You never know how people truly are when no one is looking and the fact that this all happened during the "Honeymoon" period means that we were both on our best behavior.

 

I guess it's time for NC.