I really, really miss her. [UPDATED]

[Protec]

It all started October 2014. We met in online dating service. And broke up about a month ago.

 

I was 30 when i met her, and she was 20.

 

She lived in other city about 200 kilometers from me. Everything went fine, we were insanely in love and we moved together about after a month we've known each other. We moved together january 2015

 

It was not easy relationship, i was unemployed, she had no job no school, we did not have much money to do anything so basically we just sat inside all the time. But then i got a job and things started to look better.

 

Anyway, she always complained to me how i didn't listen or didn't pay attention. I did, i swear i did, i have sometimes problems concentrating so it does easily look like i don't listen. And when he visited her hometown, she was gone for 2 weeks, she expected me to spend every night in front of computer with her.

 

I was happy "yey! i have some "me" time!" Of course i called her every day, and sent messages when she was gone. One time, i just finished making up myself a good meal and i set up movie and i was going to relax since i had tough day at work. Then she calls "Come skype?". "But honey, i just sat down on couch and wanted to watch a movie and eat something and then go to sleep" "*uck you then." and she disconnected

I was like "Wtf happened? Why i am the criminal here?"

 

Anyway she was very sweet girl and nice too. Always made awesome meals and we had fun together of course some problems too.

 

One weird thing was her "push/pull" behaviour. If i hugged her and showed some attention to her, sometimes she just pushed me away. "Not now! Go away!" And she said it in very mean manner. After that, when i left her alone, she would soon come to me hug me or kiss me, like nothing happened. It was like an apology.

 

And the teasing. OH GOD THE TEASING! She teased me a lot but didn't give any. She touched me from..well places, and showed some of her places etc. then i tried to make advance movements, answer "I'm not in the mood".

And usually she got angry at me for wanting more.

 

Anyway, we broke up. I knew she was supposed to leave and go to her home city to study (600 km away), but we were supposed to stay in long-distance relation ship.

 

Day before she left, i bought her a book to read in train and i bought a large Subway for her to eat in train too I thought i am a good man.

 

Day before she left, she even cleaned our apartment fully!! She was very nice to the very last day.

 

She even left some of her stuff at my place. Books, music cd's, clothes, perfumes etc.

 

Few days after she was gone, i sent her a text message "good morning :)" and her reply "*uck off with those good mornings. We are through!!!"

And that's it.

 

We still talked in skype (which got nasty.). She said she left me because she would cheat on me anyway, she said it in quite nasty way so i got little angry and said bad things I have temper issues. After that she deleted me from skype.

 

I let things cool down for few days and saw she has gotten herself an android phone (email to me saying: Person X has started using WhatsApp)

So i sent her "oh so you finally got that phone you dreamed about :)"

 

She replied, "Yeah, I've had such a good day apparently because i am even talking to you"

 

After that we talked like nothing had happened.

Several days after that, she has sent me selfies (new pants), She has sent me links to music videos, She has sent me funny pictures, She has sent me more selfies (her face with somewhat sad look). She even sent me a video clip of her new apartment!!

 

We even talked in phone for several hours in last few weeks.

 

Sometimes she was very warm towards me. Then sometimes when i asked just something like "hey What's up?" the answer would have been "It's none of your f*ing business!"

 

Saturday 5th

 

Then last weekend she bragged how wonderful night out she had. Men buying drinks etc. Well. I was not very happy and she noticed it. (Why aren't you happy?!" She asked. "I am." i replied. I really wasn't. She told me in phone "I haven't had sex with anyone, or haven't slept or kissed, or done anything"

 

Sunday, 6th

 

I called her, we talked about an hour in phone, i said her politely "I don't want to hear about your adventures, i still have feelings for you". I just had to say it. I just really don't want to hear any man hunting stories from my ex.

 

After that she got mad and "Oh well i am not going to tell you anything ever!!" And hung up. Few hours after she sent me funny picture in whatsapp.

 

Tuesday, 8th

 

She sent me message in whatsapp "What are you doing?". This was the first time after breakup she has sent me anything first ,without me initiating contact.

 

Wednesday, 9th

 

Well, this wednesday, we talked in whatsapp, she sent me a link of music. Everything was fine.

 

Then at evening, i asked her again "Hey you what are you doing?" "Not of your business! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I have other things to worry about too than just you! Just leave me alone!" Once again, i was baffled. After that i haven't heard anything about her. She deleted me from Whatsapp and did not reply my text message.

 

Why the sudden "just leave me alone!!!". I really haven't said anything to hurt her feelings, it's been very opposite. After the break up she has been very mean and cold towards me.

 

She even said "i don't have ANY feelings towards you anymore, so i can say what i want"

 

Help me with this. She is a nice person, much nicer than what i give the image here.

 

I don't know what i want. I love her so much, i would love to get her back someday. I have never loved anyone this much, or been this broken about a breakup (i've been dumped several times before). I've been a mess. I can't sleep, i can't eat. I can't even watch movies anymore. I just cannot concentrate. I am better now than few weeks ago, but still sometimes i wake up at nights and think she is sleeping next to me.

 

To me, she was perfect woman. She had her flaws, but so do i.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

I didn't read all, but I can give you a lesson. Next time you make a meal & plan to watch a movie & your girlfriend calls to Skype, don't tell her no. That's super disrespectful. Ask her if she wants to Skype while you are eating or just after you get done. Movies can always wait.

[Protec]

I didn't read all, but I can give you a lesson. Next time you make a meal & plan to watch a movie & your girlfriend calls to Skype, don't tell her no. That's super disrespectful. Ask her if she wants to Skype while you are eating or just after you get done. Movies can always wait.

 

Yes, i acted selfish. I tried to explain to her that i was just too tired to sit in front of computer. I had just gotten home from 9 hours workshift (11.00-20.00) and just wanted to relax, eat something and go to sleep.

 

I was not allowed to play with my friends when she was gone, i hadn't

played with my friends in 2 months, i really wanted to play with the guys, since i've known them longer than my ex. They were my friends. But she just wanted me to sit with her on skype, even if she did not say anything and i didn't have anything to say either. It was frustrating. She always got very mad if i did not have time for her. Even when she was gone, she still forced herself to be with me all the time. If i did not have time, she got very angry. I don't think it's right either. If 2 persons are dating, both should be able to do their own things once a while and not being clinged to each other 24/7.

 

When we lived together she was always #1 for me. Gaming could wait, so could movies (we usually watched together anyway)

[ExpatInItaly]

This was your idea of the perfect woman?

 

You need to date more. This is a mess. She isn't ready for a relationship and it sounds to me that she indeed has temper issues as well.

 

Let this go. You are too old for crap like this, no?

[Protec]

This was your idea of the perfect woman?

 

You need to date more. This is a mess. She isn't ready for a relationship and it sounds to me that she indeed has temper issues as well.

 

Let this go. You are too old for crap like this, no?

 

Yeah, i think you're right. She was too young. I wasn't perfect either, i have flaws. I am a nice guy, maybe even too nice, but i also have a bad habit of saying nasty things if i am pushed too far.

 

She was cute. At mornings she always rolled over me and hugged. If i woke up before her and went on computer etc. then i heard this "thump". She always throwed me with my pillow To get attention.

 

But every morning, every day when i woke up from next to her, i kissed her, smiled, and thought "I love her so much". I really did. Before my ex it had been almost 5 years since i've felt the sensation of falling in love. And no i am afraid it will take other 5 years...

 

I just dream about my own family. Having fun and sharing things with someone special...

 

She was also very caring, cute, beautiful, had nice laugh, cutest thumbs ever, made good food, had good sense of humour, we could talk about anything and with her i didn't feel lonely.

 

Oh yeah, and i loaned her 120 euros for her rent. Last week she asked money from me. I loaned her the money. "you will not regret this :)" she said...

 

I wonder.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Simple then, tell her no Skype we'll talk on cell phones instead. If she has nothing to say, tell her you have to go.

 

 

Yes, you should be able to spend time with friends, as long as you are taking care of things in the relationship.

 

 

She sounds like a jealous control monster.

[Protec]

I still wonder why she sent me all those selfies and wonder about that hot/cold behaviour.

 

Basically she was saying "just look how wonderful i look now!"

And i was stupid enough to say "you look great :)"

She had what she needed (admiration, egoboost about looks), i got nothing.

 

She was very beautiful woman. And unfortunately she knew it...

Then all the bragging "I'm so happy now, i feel great!"

Yes, yes. Thanks for turning me into emotional wreck and you just keep having fun.

 

But i've been dumped 5 times before, and i must say, this is the hardest one. I really fell badly for this woman. ANd it is not helping that we got all the furniture etc. to this apartment together. She got this apartment first, i moved in little after when i got rid of my apartment. This was OUR home. Then she left and this became my home...problem is, this doesn't feel like my home. Still feels like hers. There is ever her name left in the contract.

 

But i am moving from this apartment. This place is lifeless without her and all these memories haunt me every day when i am here. There is still some of her stuff here, i wonder if she is ever going to get these.

 

All i think is "There she used to sit and use her computer. There she used to make her coffee...." you know the drill. I am destroying myself by thinking her all the time, but i can't help it. I have never lived with a woman before, and all her Hot/Cold behaviour after breakup has messed me up even more.

 

I wish i could remain in good terms with her. She really was a nice person when she was nice to me. She always took care of me, before we moved in together, she still came to visit me even when she knew i was just had a operation (hernia removal). I was in bad shape, but she helped me for the whole weekend That was something no one has ever done to me before.

 

I loved that woman with all my heart. She was a cold bitch sometimes, said bad things to me, but she also had hard time.

 

She was new in this city. She had no friends here, no job, no school...just me. I could see it stressed her out. She also had a rough childhood, her mom kicked her out when she was 16. She had to live in children's home.

 

Maybe she had some issues of her own...i don't know. I cannot hate her. I understand she had rough time here, we were poor, still she hold up with me that long.

[Protec]

My Ex-GF still has lots of stuff in the apartment. She said she doens't want to ever talk with me again. How do contact her about the stuff?

 

Week ago she said she would visit me and get the stuff herself. But her mind is like a tornado and now she doesn't want to talk to me.

 

What do i do?!

[CT98]

20 year old girls are heart breakers, especially when you're 10 years older than them.

 

I went out with a girl 6 years younger than me, I tried to tell myself that the age didn't make a difference. It did.

[Protec]

20 year old girls are heart breakers, especially when you're 10 years older than them.

 

I went out with a girl 6 years younger than me, I tried to tell myself that the age didn't make a difference. It did.

 

I think you're right. My problem is that women of my age don't get interested me at all. I just don't know why.

 

She sent me a selfie of her face (little sad look) 14 days ago :

 

"When you do everything right and feel great but then you remember the one thing that is missing ;( "

 

Nothing else.

 

Did she mean she missed me? I never asked. I was too afraid. But i told her she looked cute.

 

Did she want to remain as friends with me?

 

Week ago i told to her that i am not interested hearing about the nightclubbing or her getting new friends via Tinder, then she got very, very mad. "why aren't you happy?".

 

How could i be? She left me. I did not even get the chance to say goodbye to her. She dumped me via text message and now she lives 600km away. How could i be happy if she tells me how much fun she had with her (guy)friends in a bar?

 

I can't be. I am happy though she is doing well. But telling me stuff like that is just like turning a knife in the wound.

 

Or is that just basic woman behaviour to brag "how great everything is since i left you"?

 

I am over analyzing. I joined this forum because i found this by accident when i read those "howtogetyourexbackforevernow"-guides.

 

They helped me a little to see things from different perspective. But i am still confused. Why was she so nice to me? Why did she send me all those selfies etc? Then why is she suddenly so angry at me?

 

After breakup:

-Talking in Skype almost every day. We argued -> She deleted me from skype

-She got whatsapp, i wrote her -> She added me to whatsapp -> we talked almost every day, sendin pictures to each other etc.

-I said something wrong --> She deleted me from WhatsApp

-Texted her / called her. Talked for an hour.

-She added me back to whatsapp -> Talking via whatsapp almost every day

-She added me back to skype.

-I said something wrong (Hi! What's up?) -> She deleted me from whatsapp

 

This is the thing that has been going on. She is there, she is not there, she is there again, not there. She is nice, she is angry. Nice again. Angry again.

 

I SWEAR by my heart after the first argument when she deleted me from skype i haven't said anything bad. I've been very rational, thinking 4 times over before saying anything to her, not praying her to come back etc.

Still for some reason she got mad.

 

When she asked something: I replied normally, in good intentions

When i asked something from her: She got furious.

 

And also, she vented me about her problems (money issues, etc. life issues, how she hasn't eaten anything, cannot sleet etc). And when i told her about my life she was like (i don't f*king care).

 

So she just used me? She used me to get the admiration and support from me?

 

Now that i'm thinking...maybe i even got mentally abused in our relation ship. She used to make me feel very bad about myself.

 

For example:

"Stop it with your music making. You are never going to succeed no matter how much you try"

"I don't even like the way you touch me. You make me feel nothing."

"You are terrible in bed."

 

But then she hugged me a lot, she kissed me, wanted my attention, i gave her attention, she always made me good food, sometimes even breakfast even if did not ask "no no, you get out of kitchen, i will make you something special :)"

 

That is why i am so confused. She was sometimes very very nice to me, sometimes absolutely horrible. Narcissism? She cleaned the apartment day before she left me. Why would anyone clean apartment for someone if they know they are going to dump you?

 

I know i wouldn't.

 

Wow, it seems i have still a lot of stuff in my system and it's been already a month since she left. But all the talking in skype, whatsapp and in phone made it feel like she's still there. I mean 2 weeks ago we talked almost 7 hours in phone that week. She even asked me to call her "call me?"

 

I am so messed up inside. She really did some major damage to me. All my other breakups have been easier. I just always got angry and "good riddance". I thought myself. But now i am this pile of emotional mess, overanalyzing her every move she made with me.

 

No has been ever this nice to me few weeks before breakup and after breakup.

 

The last week we had together: We went out eating, shopping together, had fun, talked, etc. I even remember her saying: "Hey, what if i take this shampoo, so i can use it too when i come to visit you?".

 

I knew she was moving out, that was no surprise, since we talked about it few months ago. We were supposed to stay in LDR. It's only 600km and inside the same country. We could've seen each other at least once a month. Maybe even twice.

[Starks]

this broad is telling you to **** off one minute, and sending you selfies the next? Time to move on. She is just using you to boost her ego when she is bored. She is laughing at what a "pathetic stalker" you are, bragging to her friends that you are still not over her. You need to block her on all social media, delete her number etc.

 

 

Stop prolonging your own misery by gleefully swallowing the pathetic breadcrumbs she's feeding you. she specifically told you to **** off, so stop giving her feedback on her stupid selfies. Have some self respect

[Starks]

I didn't read all, but I can give you a lesson. Next time you make a meal & plan to watch a movie & your girlfriend calls to Skype, don't tell her no. That's super disrespectful. Ask her if she wants to Skype while you are eating or just after you get done. Movies can always wait.

 

 

and I whole heartedly disagree with this. If a GF can't respect that you are trying to relax and watch a movie for 2 hours she is extremely needy and clingy and you are better off without her. Nothing kills attraction more than neediness

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Forget about the furniture & go full hard No Contact with her. Block her on everything & stop stalking her online. Find another girl to go after.

[Protec]

this broad is telling you to **** off one minute, and sending you selfies the next? Time to move on. She is just using you to boost her ego when she is bored. She is laughing at what a "pathetic stalker" you are, bragging to her friends that you are still not over her. You need to block her on all social media, delete her number etc.

 

 

Stop prolonging your own misery by gleefully swallowing the pathetic breadcrumbs she's feeding you. she specifically told you to **** off, so stop giving her feedback on her stupid selfies. Have some self respect

 

She was always like that even when we were dating. One minute she was angry as hell from something and told me to piss off, then next moment she came hugging me etc.

 

Thank you guys. I mean, you really help me see things from other angle. I myself was just mostly happy that i could be in touch with her. Hell, i am lonely, still am and i always enjoyed talking with her. But now like you said it, she probably did everything just to boost her ego.

 

I don't hate her. She was the first woman i have ever lived with. We had lots of good times, but bad times too. She just had so quick temper...it was like she turned sometimes into a completely different woman.

 

I also think she was depressed.

 

I went to work at 12, she woke up when i left. Then i came back home at 20.00. I asked her "hey, the trashbag is still on the floor. Haven't you gone outside at all today?" "No.".

 

She was home, all day. It was perfect summer day. She was not ill. She was just sitting on the floor at home, surfing in youtube, facebook and WeHeartIt.

 

And it was not the only day she would spend completely indoors. That's when i started to think something was not right. I mean, it's not normal to sit indoors, at least not in summer! She never talked to me about it. I asked if there was something wrong "I can't talk with you. You don't listen what i say".

[Oregon_Dude]

You're spending your time trying to figure out the actions of a 20/21 year old. Your time would be better spent watching paint dry, or grass grow.

 

Man up, act your age and find someone who is emotionally capable of treating another human being well. That means someone who is 25 at least.

[Starks]

I don't hate her. She was the first woman i have ever lived with.

 

 

 

Which is why you would even consider putting up with her flakiness and lazy bum behavior. Cause you don't know any better.

 

You'll eventually meet other girls who don't treat you like **** and you'll feel stupid for chasing this one. She sounds like a entitled brat and you should be thankful to be rid of her.

[Protec]

Which is why you would even consider putting up with her flakiness and lazy bum behavior. Cause you don't know any better.

 

You'll eventually meet other girls who don't treat you like **** and you'll feel stupid for chasing this one. She sounds like a entitled brat and you should be thankful to be rid of her.

 

She was more adult and i let you know here. She was between teen and adult. But i think you're right.

She herself thought she was even more adult than me (well, i'm not the most mature guy, but i think i know thing or two 20 year old does not know).

 

But guess what. She was supposed to pay me 120e back today that i loaned her few weeks ago...nope. I really need to call her. I can't afford to lose 120e. Oh stupid me. "You're not going to regret this! Thanks so much for helping me"

Edited September 15, 2015 by Protec

[theredpill]

You're spending your time trying to figure out the actions of a 20/21 year old. Your time would be better spent watching paint dry, or grass grow.

 

Man up, act your age and find someone who is emotionally capable of treating another human being well. That means someone who is 25 at least.

 

Seriously, listen to this guy ^^^^ ya 30 and she's 20, wtf do you thinks gonna happen?

 

Women are like a fine wine dude, not all taste nice but when you find the right one with a few more years than what you appear to be chasing, you'll punch yourself in the face for being a ****ing idiot no offence intended ofc

[Oregon_Dude]

Women are like a fine wine dude, not all taste nice but when you find the right one with a few more years than what you appear to be chasing, you'll punch yourself in the face for being a ****ing idiot

I feel like you had a strong metaphor going, and then totally abandoned it.

 

[Protec]

I was weak. I managed to do full week NC! 7 days!!!

 

I sent her text today "I'm gonna later today, ok?" Because she owed me 120 euros i lent her 2 weeks ago and she promised to pay back on 15th.

 

Well, she sent me text back "ok" and later in the evening "you were supposed to call?"

 

Well i called. We talked for 40 minutes.

 

About our relationship

About how bad i was in bed ( i am not bad in bed!)

About how i suck as human being

About how she saw these fantastic looking guys everywhere.

How we our chemisty did not work anymore.

We talked about sex between us.

She talks how she is horny and hasn't had sex since she had that awful sex with me 2 months ago. Yes. Sex is AWFUL with me. "you don't know how to touch. You don't know anything!"

 

Well, we talked.

Then she hungs up "i need to do laundry etc. Come skype if you want to talk".

 

Well, after that i called my father, to discuss some other things with.

 

When i was at phone with my father. First my ex sends "skype?". Well, i cannot respond, i was talking with my father.

 

Then few minutes later "Skype?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!?"

 

Well, after talking with my father, i went to skype. We talked about an hour with video communication.

 

But she still does it...bragging about handsome men, bragging about going into a bar etc.

She gave me a complliment "you have lost some weight, could lose some more though".

 

It's kinda sad actually.

 

Sad because i broke the NC. I had to break it, i really NEED that 120 euros back from her.

Sad because i talked so much with her.

She even invited me to a bar with her "You really need to come here with me and lets have few drinks. Live at little!"

 

Damn it! And she didn't mention about her stuff not one time. I mentioned it to her "are you coming here to get your stuff?" "well..it costs me 50 euros to get there..."

 

I just need to put it in a f*king box.

[Protec]

Here is the case: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/547621-ex-gf-s-weird-behaviour

 

 

I managed to do full week NC. I had to contact her for my money she owed me. She owed me 120e, she paid back 100e.

 

Then today, she sends me picture of her hair "i just dyed my hair <3" etc.

And yesterday when i talked with her she just bragged about all the good looking men she has seen and how she is going to party this weekend and she has to look her best!

 

"Oh i am so horny, i haven't had sex in two months. Well, last time was with you, and i NEVER enjoyed sex with you"

 

I mean WTF.

 

Is she just trying to make me mad? Trying to make me jealous? Oh no no, i am not that easy.

 

**ucking bitch.

 

I really hate her now.

 

Entered Stage: Rage.

[jen1447]

Then she wins. The only way you can win is to not care.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

That's why you block her on everything.

[PaperCrane]

Why haven't you blocked her from all avenues of contacting you?

[thejabberwocky]

I kinda feel like you asked for it. Yes, it's mean of her to say those things, but why are you in touch with her at all? It's like you're victimizing yourself. You only did 1 week NC and you're back to chatting with her? Why, to torture yourself?

 

I don't care if she owed you money, no amount of money is worth the emotional turmoil of being in touch with someone that messes with your feelings this way. Block her and start NC over.