Stuey141 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Basically I was in a relationship for a year with a top girl, she lived an hour and a half from me. I broke up with her in May 2014 because I wanted to concentrate on my business and didn't feel I would have the time to commit to getting there as much as I should. She was very upset, we spoke a few months after and she was ok with me and I had to stop contact because it was hurting. I was very close to messaging Jan this year but was told from a friend she had a new boyfriend, so I thought il leave it and not get in the way. I have tried moving on and still think about her weekly. I decided to search her today and it appears she is still in a relationship, not sure if it's the same one. I really want to get her back but I don't want to get in the way of her new life and don't really fancy the rejection.. But can't stand the what if!! Just want some advice really, shall I leave it or do I contact her? If so what's my approach. We haven't spoken for 15 months.. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 She's in a relationship so the chances of her responding in the way that you want are slim to none. Also, she's probably moved on from you because when people are tossed aside they have to do all they can to heal, and when they do they come back stronger and happier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DirtyBerty Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 This is probably one of those situations where only you know if you should or shouldn't try again. I'd say if you really really want to get back with her and are willing to commit to her then maybe, but the chances she will take you back are pretty slim. So for your sake you might not want to deal with the rejection. Plus she is with someone else now, for all you know he could be madly in love with her. Do you really want to potentially be the reason for him to go through a break up? I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone, even a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 (edited) Another thing is that this could just be a case of you being single and perhaps lonely, and curious. I say that because it's taken you this long to want to reach out and you haven't, also you say you think of her "weekly." If I was so desperate to get someone back they'd be on my mind every second. It just doesn't sound like you're head over heels in love with this girl and as the above poster said, this other guy could be and you could take something really precious away from him. You let her go the first time remember, you could do it again. I could be way off there but it's just my two cents. If someone broke up with me because they didn't have time for me/I was no longer a priority, and then reached out to reconcile over a year later, I'd tell them to take a hike. That's just me though Edited October 9, 2015 by Meli22 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I do agree with you in terms of the other guy, that's why I left it til now and the situation hasn't changed, so I'm stuck between re introducing myself into her life or wondering what if again. I guess I am lonely in a way, but I'm content with my life. My business has been very successful but when I take a moment, I want to enjoy it with someone and it's always her in my mind... I wouldn't blame her if she told me to jog on, and I would expect it which kind of puts me off! I prioritised other things more and it's now I realise. It's more than weekly if I'm honest, almost daily but didn't want to sound a nutter lol Link to post Share on other sites
thunder777 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 (edited) Youre very fortunate position, having your own business and i guess wealth you would be quite appealling to new girls im quite stuck in trying to meet new girls & moving on due to my work circumstances (minimal hours) ive realised during the week, that in all the heaviness and weight on my shoulders still seeping into my present life from the relationship just gone, that a simple coffee date with a new girl would be a marvellous thing it was pretty much arranged with the new girl on thursday and the excitemnet of just meeting a potential someone, cleared out so much weight. unfortunately we both had work conflicts and it didnt come about but the anticipation of what would have been quite fun, was so much a better & refreshing feeling, rather than spending another day having to ruminate about the ex not that i was expecting anything from the coffee date, and im sure it will come about when i find the energy but im just sharing with you that you should instead be placing your energies into someone new (which is hard) but once that appointment comes about, youll feel a massive rush of relief taking you far far away from the ex world coffee dates! most people are happy to try them i was a bit shocked to hear about them Edited October 10, 2015 by thunder777 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 Ok, I haven't done anything about it. But I'm off to London tomorrow for business, I am so tempted to message her and see if she will meet me for a drink after work! Am I being silly... If I do how should I approach it? So confused what to do lol Link to post Share on other sites
RIPolaris Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Ok, I haven't done anything about it. But I'm off to London tomorrow for business, I am so tempted to message her and see if she will meet me for a drink after work! Am I being silly... If I do how should I approach it? So confused what to do lol I would say leave it alone. Don't interfere with her new relationship with this new guy. It really does seem that you're just curious and not really in love with this girl and that simply isn't fair to her or that new guy. Besides, it's been over a year and she has probably started to get serious with this new guy, don't go and mess that up. Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Are you sure its not just a case of toddler like behaviour, you know, a kid gets bored with a toy or focuses on another one, and only when some other kid picks up the discarded toy does it suddenly become a problem? You made a decision that your business and career were more important to you than her. And no one here can fault you for following your heart but at the same time you made your bed, now you should lie in it instead of toying with your ex's emotions. I don't think its fair to one minute break her heart based on your needs and desires and then the next minute bombard her life again based on your needs and desires again. The core theme there is all about you and what you want with no consideration for her feelings or even the unit you were in the relationship. Personally, I think you should not only respect the relationship that she is in right now and not cause trouble but also you need to respect the decision you made when you walked away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
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