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How Did She Move On So Quickly!?


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Okay so this is basically my way of getting everything off my chest (call it free therapy!!) I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost 4 years, we got together very young (only 15) and actually finished on my 19th Birthday in May.

 

 

For the first 3 years things were absolutely fine. Then she made a new friend at college and her personality began to change and this is when things started to go downhill for our relationship (in my opinion)

 

Around April 2015, she told me she didn't feel the same, the relationship felt like a chore and she didn't feel bothered to put effort in.

We had a long talk and decided to give it a real good go to make things work as we owe it to our 4 year relationship to atleast try and make it work.

 

1 Month later (on my birthday) AFTER I'd taken us out for the day, she finished me. I mentioned that I felt like the spark was gone, and that we need to go on holiday or something and do more

things together to get it back. She agree'd but didn't want to try anything to get it back.

 

 

Fast forward 6 weeks and she's already in another relationship... WITH ONE OF THE "FRIENDS" SHE USED TO SNAPCHAT/TEXT before we split up and they're still together a few months later.

 

 

I'm just so baffled as to how she could just move on and forget about me and what we had in a matter of a few weeks. Paranoia is still killing me, I just keep thinking they must've been seeing each other before whilst I was with her (she claims she didn't cheat on me though.)

 

How can she just move on that quickly? It's been almost 5 months and I'm starting to feel a lot better about it all and the future is a lot brighter - But she must of felt like this just weeks after our split.

I must've meant absolutely nothing to her.

 

 

Thanks for reading guys, I just needed somewhere to vent all of this as it was on my chest!

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Stage5Clinger

Girls keep guys on watch for situations like this. They don't want to be alone and don't have to be. Some guy is always floating about waiting for the relationship to fail.

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I once saw somebody say that "women are like monkeys in the jungle swinging through the trees. They don't let go of one vine until they have a firm grasp on the next vine."

 

The truth of the matter is she had moved on - at least emotionally - long before you knew the relationship was over.

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I once saw somebody say that "women are like monkeys in the jungle swinging through the trees. They don't let go of one vine until they have a firm grasp on the next vine."

 

The truth of the matter is she had moved on - at least emotionally - long before you knew the relationship was over.

 

 

That monkey comment is extremely accurate.

 

I just don't underatand, why didn't she end it earlier or at least tell me... I was made to go on thinking things were fine when clearly they wasn't. I'd of preferred to of ended sooner rather than late, what a coward.

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Stage5Clinger
That monkey comment is extremely accurate.

 

I just don't underatand, why didn't she end it earlier or at least tell me... I was made to go on thinking things were fine when clearly they wasn't. I'd of preferred to of ended sooner rather than late, what a coward.

 

Don't worry, bro. She'll do it to the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy. Bleed 'em dry seems to be the motto. You're better off.

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organizedchaos
That monkey comment is extremely accurate.

 

I just don't underatand, why didn't she end it earlier or at least tell me... I was made to go on thinking things were fine when clearly they wasn't. I'd of preferred to of ended sooner rather than late, what a coward.

 

You're young, so you don't have a lot of experience. But this is very typical. Learn from it.

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Okay so this is basically my way of getting everything off my chest (call it free therapy!!) I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost 4 years, we got together very young (only 15) and actually finished on my 19th Birthday in May.

 

 

For the first 3 years things were absolutely fine. Then she made a new friend at college and her personality began to change and this is when things started to go downhill for our relationship (in my opinion)

 

Around April 2015, she told me she didn't feel the same, the relationship felt like a chore and she didn't feel bothered to put effort in.

We had a long talk and decided to give it a real good go to make things work as we owe it to our 4 year relationship to atleast try and make it work.

 

1 Month later (on my birthday) AFTER I'd taken us out for the day, she finished me. I mentioned that I felt like the spark was gone, and that we need to go on holiday or something and do more

things together to get it back. She agree'd but didn't want to try anything to get it back.

 

 

Fast forward 6 weeks and she's already in another relationship... WITH ONE OF THE "FRIENDS" SHE USED TO SNAPCHAT/TEXT before we split up and they're still together a few months later.

 

 

I'm just so baffled as to how she could just move on and forget about me and what we had in a matter of a few weeks. Paranoia is still killing me, I just keep thinking they must've been seeing each other before whilst I was with her (she claims she didn't cheat on me though.)

 

How can she just move on that quickly? It's been almost 5 months and I'm starting to feel a lot better about it all and the future is a lot brighter - But she must of felt like this just weeks after our split.

I must've meant absolutely nothing to her.

 

 

Thanks for reading guys, I just needed somewhere to vent all of this as it was on my chest!

 

 

Mate!! Your situation is so similar to mine, except I'm slightly older than you are! She was my first LTR and I thought she was my everything. I thought there was something going on between her and this guy at work but she promised me and her family there wasn't. I dropped it as I trusted her . . . Fast forward 5 months and she leaves me and next day she's in a relationship with him! I know all the thoughts and confusions your feeling it's so frustrating!! Best thing you can do is focus on other things and be positive!

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LoveIsMyReligion

Monkey branch thing is legit, second time happening to me.

 

Funny thing is a lot of girls call me a catch, and I learned from my mistakes and treated the second girl pretty damn good. Yet she still "swung" to the next dude who was talking her up 8 months later.

 

Only thing you can do is look for the warning signs in the future and tell your ex to **** off when they try to come back. That or go gay.. but something tells me guys do this too. ;)

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It's essentially called Grass is Greener Syndrome or (GIGS) I've been researching it because I'm pretty sure it's what my ex boyfriend is going through right now. We dated for a year and a half- we were each other's longest relationships... we started dating when I was 17, him 16. We went to separate schools in the same town and his parents would never let us see each other on weekdays except for special occasions but we made it work by seeing each other on weekends. He gave me a promise ring on our one year anniversary and told me it would always be us...

 

Fast forward to the day AFTER my 19th birthday (funny how our exes decided to flee after our birthdays) when we had a fight the night before (it wasn't much of a fight, I called him an ass because he was being very cold towards me) and he wasn't responding to anything I was sending him. So I stupidly enlisted the help of my step-sister to text him and he let loose on her...telling her about how he just didn't love me anymore and there was nothing left between us and to please tell me that. I went to his house to drop off the ring and he couldn't even come to the front door to face me so I just left the ring on the table next to his front door...and I left a year and a half of us behind as I walked back to the car crying, my heart crushed to pieces

 

Now (One month later) I've been seeing pictures of his best friend that he told me to never, ever worry about because he'd never see her as anything more than a best friend, posting pictures on her Facebook of them together because he asked her to homecoming at his school. I've been wondering how he could move on so quickly while I'm still here with my heart in my lap. I know what you're going through...it sucks. One minute we were fine, and the next minute he didn't love me anymore...and it's why I believe he has GIGS, and your girlfriend might as well.

 

You and her dated for four years...most of your teenaged years. You didn't have much of an opportunity to date anybody else because you were with each other, and she likely began to grow restless and bored. She probably began to wonder if there was more to life than just the boy that she'd been with for four years. She started making more friends and thought to herself "yes...the grass is greener on the other side" so she left, giving no regard to your feelings whatsoever. She'll party it up with friends, date whoever she wants, have sex with whoever she wants while you're picking up the pieces of four years lost...but she'll get tired of the life she chose...maybe no guy will love her the way you did, no guy will know how to please her the way you did..and while you've moved on, possibly with someone new, she'll be realizing her mistakes and wanting you back...but you'll be moved on. Suddenly, she's going through the breakup the way you did.

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Grumpybutfun

The truth is that every person you care about wont be the right one for you. It is always sad that one person figures it out before the other and ends it, but it was time for both of you to move when she realized you weren't the right fit. The idea that at seventeen or twenty, you will find your soulmate is hard to fathom for me since we keep growing and developing throughout our lives and those late teen, early twenty years we do the most growing to figure out who we are without parents. Your ex gf isn't a bad person, and she probably did care about you, but she is moving on in her search for Mr. Right which is pretty normal. The hardest lesson to learn in life is to not take every goodbye personally, because usually no one is fully compatible at your ages....it is very rare.

Good luck, grieve the end of your relationship, then call a girl and move on too...regret is a time waster,

Grumps

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This is almost exactly what happened to my ex in the past - although I'm way past all the hurt and anger. You can read it in this sub-forum as I just posted it...

 

I feel for you man. My ex started doing the same thing - hanging around people who were changing her personality and influencing her into thinking that she doesn't have to be responsible in part for the relationship too. It's a joke with younger women these days. Once they think they have someone else who's "better" than you, they make up all sorts of excuses to break up.

 

However, if you move on with no resistance to her decision, I can almost guarantee you'll make her beg for you back. Just work on yourself. Doing anything at this point only pushes them further away. Just disappear and make yourself scarce... act like you're doing better than her. Her relationship is most likely a rebound which will fail soon enough, at which point she'll know she f**ked up.

 

Okay so this is basically my way of getting everything off my chest (call it free therapy!!) I was with my ex-girlfriend for almost 4 years, we got together very young (only 15) and actually finished on my 19th Birthday in May.

 

 

For the first 3 years things were absolutely fine. Then she made a new friend at college and her personality began to change and this is when things started to go downhill for our relationship (in my opinion)

 

Around April 2015, she told me she didn't feel the same, the relationship felt like a chore and she didn't feel bothered to put effort in.

We had a long talk and decided to give it a real good go to make things work as we owe it to our 4 year relationship to atleast try and make it work.

 

1 Month later (on my birthday) AFTER I'd taken us out for the day, she finished me. I mentioned that I felt like the spark was gone, and that we need to go on holiday or something and do more

things together to get it back. She agree'd but didn't want to try anything to get it back.

 

 

Fast forward 6 weeks and she's already in another relationship... WITH ONE OF THE "FRIENDS" SHE USED TO SNAPCHAT/TEXT before we split up and they're still together a few months later.

 

 

I'm just so baffled as to how she could just move on and forget about me and what we had in a matter of a few weeks. Paranoia is still killing me, I just keep thinking they must've been seeing each other before whilst I was with her (she claims she didn't cheat on me though.)

 

How can she just move on that quickly? It's been almost 5 months and I'm starting to feel a lot better about it all and the future is a lot brighter - But she must of felt like this just weeks after our split.

I must've meant absolutely nothing to her.

 

 

Thanks for reading guys, I just needed somewhere to vent all of this as it was on my chest!

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ExpatInItaly

She moved on quickly because she'd already emotionally checked out of the relationship.

 

Honestly speaking, you were both essentially still children when you got together. This is not meant to be insulting; it's a fact. What you want changes tremendously during your teens and twenties and relationships that start at such a young age rarely last forever. People want to branch out and explore, which usually includes exploring new partners too.

 

This doesn't mean you meant nothing to her. She simply outgrew the relationship and fell out of love. She didn't handle it in the best way, but it's not at all unusual. You can only focus on yourself moving forward and continue to open a new chapter in your life.

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Read you own post and see that you missed some milestones.

 

She told you around April that she's lost interest with you. Well, she didn't wake up one morning and felt it at once, so let's be short with her, and assume she had that feeling growing through about a month earlier for minimum.

 

So if my calculations are right, she's stopped loving you on March, then broke up with you on May. Then, she started a new relationship after 6 weeks. let's give her 2 weeks of courtship so we are talking about 3 months gap!

 

She started with the new guy 3 months after she's stopped loving you. It's not quickly at all.

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I actually have never understood this. I tend to hang around a while by myself and just hang out with friends to see if anything is going to happen.

 

The last girl went back to an ex she swore she'd never go back to in pretty much record time.

 

I blew it off. It was...ummm...weird and painful.

 

Months later though...I feel fine. Things are so much better. I had known her forever and barely think of her at all (until I read posts like this).

 

I think the monkey-vine analogy is pretty much what was going on. She wanted to proclaim her independence quite loudly, but I am pretty sure she was just trying to convince herself.

 

Hope things go well for you!

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Sorry bud, first love breakups suck but it's something we all go through.

 

She didn't break up with you out of no where by the way. She told you that she wasn't feeling the same spark that was once there back in March. If she was being fully honest then she would've broken up with you then but she probably felt bad and didn't want to hurt you so she stayed with the relationship trying to give it another shot.

 

When you noticed the spark wasn't there and suggested going on a vacation together you should've realized that going on holiday together would've just been a bandaid to an already broken/open wound. Just because you were one another first love, doesn't mean you're stuck with each other forever.

 

I'm sure you're not the same guy you were when you were 15 are you? You've grown, experienced new things, developed, etc. So has she. It's normal for people to grow apart as they head into college and develop as people. You owe it to yourself to grow and experience as much as possible. That includes dating and meeting new people.

 

Just because you broke up doesn't mean she never cared for or loved you. Once you realize that you spent time together and most of it was great and you'll have fond memories, you just couldn't do it any longer, then you'll be fine.

 

Leave her alone, respect that it's over and she's with someone else. Her actions have nothing to do with you and she isn't doin things deliberately with you in mind. And you should do the same. Meet others, live and do things because you want to, not because you want to make her jealous or upset. That'll just hold you back.

 

You're young, this is something you'll become a better person for having gone through.

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I was for sceptic about posting on this forums for help, I honestly didn't expect as many people to be experiencing something as similuar as my situation.

 

I didn't plan on all the kind words and advice you guys all have for me.

 

I am dealing with things a lot better, it still hurts when I think about the great times we had together and that we'll never spend a day together again, it feels like an empty pit in my stomach.

 

But I understand that we was both young, and now we're nearly in our twenties we are children anymore and we have changed as people. Thinking back to how she began acting and how her personality had changed - I honestly don't think I'd be happy if we was still together, that was not the girl I fell madly in love with over 4 years ago and I'm happy that things ended before they got to bad and the relationship ended when we both still had good feelings for each other and fond memories.

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