Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 My ex fiancé and I have a 10 year old son together. We haven’t been serious with each other in almost 7 years. A year ago I moved back home so he can be close to his son. Shortly after I moved back my ex seduced me. We spent some time together and sleep with each other more than a few times. I decided after two months of spending time with him that it was best that we no longer date or have a sexual relationship. I told him that we should just be friends. It was difficult at first but we were able to maintain a platonic relationship. This past year he continued to pursue me. Often telling me that he is still single and not seeing anyone else. Made sexual advances and offered to take me and our son out. He expressed that he loved me and that he wanted to spend time with my family because he missed them. Some of my siblings still care about him as their brother. I turned down every chance he gave because I was not interested (I was miserable with him for several reasons). Plus I was seeing someone else and felt that he was better match for me. A few days ago he told me that he has a newborn son. I had no idea that he was seeing anyone else. He even lied to my son. He told my son that his pregnant “friend” was not his girlfriend and that the baby was not his. Why in the hell would he lie about sometime like this? Plus I’m annoyed with the fact that he tried to sleep with my while he was having a relationship with this woman. His baby and the mother are not mentioned on Facebook. No pictures, no relationship status, nothing BUT pictures of an previous ex-girlfriend (there were together for years) was plastered all over his Facebook page. What gives? Why would he lie and hide this from my son and I? I told him that I was seeing someone else. If I was pregnant and in a relationship with a man. I would never lie about something so big? What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 it doesn't matter, does it. People have their reasons for why they do what they do. This is always going to be the thing.. He does it because it works for him, somehow.. Live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Is the baby actually his or is he lying about that? Liars lie. It's what they do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Why would he have to tell you anyway? You were seeing other people, your relationship with him was over. He had his reasons and unless you two were in an exclusive relationship together he doesn't have any obligation to you. I don't think that the content of someones facebook pages really siginify anything. Maybe he was unsure of the baby was even his, and although it was pretty stupid to tell your son that it wasn't his child when he now has a new brother/sister, it was probably what he felt was best at the time. Since you were seeing somebody else you felt was more 'fitting' for you, he probably didn't think he had any reason to burden you with his problems. He views you exactly as he should, as the mother of his child and somebody he will have in his life for a long time so is pleasant. His personal business isn't yours anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Now you know! The next time he talks about reconnecting with your family, how he's not seeing anyone, and whatever other BS he was selling, you'll know it's just a maneuver to get in your pants. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Now you know! The next time he talks about reconnecting with your family, how he's not seeing anyone, and whatever other BS he was selling, you'll know it's just a maneuver to get in your pants. She was seeing somebody else too! Someone who was more 'fitting' for her. You can't pick and choose which aspects of somebodies life you feel you are entitled to when you aren't even in a relationship any longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 it doesn't matter, does it. People have their reasons for why they do what they do. This is always going to be the thing.. He does it because it works for him, somehow.. Live your life. It matters to me because we have our son involved. I don't believe in father's lying to their son. Their relationship is already distant from him disappointing his son. I know I can't always protect my son feelings but it's wrong to lie. Plus I'm disgusting that he wanted sex with me while he was with her. It's not right period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Is the baby actually his or is he lying about that? Liars lie. It's what they do. I'm meeting him later today so he can spend time with his son. I'm sure he won't be honest with me. But I will let him know that he doesn't have to lie to us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Why would he have to tell you anyway? You were seeing other people, your relationship with him was over. He had his reasons and unless you two were in an exclusive relationship together he doesn't have any obligation to you. I don't think that the content of someones facebook pages really siginify anything. Maybe he was unsure of the baby was even his, and although it was pretty stupid to tell your son that it wasn't his child when he now has a new brother/sister, it was probably what he felt was best at the time. Since you were seeing somebody else you felt was more 'fitting' for you, he probably didn't think he had any reason to burden you with his problems. He views you exactly as he should, as the mother of his child and somebody he will have in his life for a long time so is pleasant. His personal business isn't yours anymore. I don't like people lying to me. In this case I can understand why if he thought that the baby wasn't his. I just didn't understand why he lied to my son. It's unnecessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 Now you know! The next time he talks about reconnecting with your family, how he's not seeing anyone, and whatever other BS he was selling, you'll know it's just a maneuver to get in your pants. Exactly. Early on I felt he was lying to me about things that I should know. Which is one of the reasons why we stopped dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 She was seeing somebody else too! Someone who was more 'fitting' for her. You can't pick and choose which aspects of somebodies life you feel you are entitled to when you aren't even in a relationship any longer. I expect honesty because that is is respectful. He disrespected my son and I. I could care less about his life. Just don't get my son or I entangled in a web of unnecessary lies. I wouldn't do it to him. I let it go though. It's not my life and his personal life is his. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I appreciate everyone's response. I feel a lot better about the situation. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 If its his baby i find VERY ODD he wouldnt mention this like 9 months ago?! Is the baby mother married or something? Thats the only reason i could think of, never mentioning having another kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kcame30 Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 If its his baby i find VERY ODD he wouldnt mention this like 9 months ago?! Is the baby mother married or something? Thats the only reason i could think of, never mentioning having another kid. I feel the same way. It doesn't make sense to me either. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Inclined to agree that "liars lie;" there may be no sensible explanation. I wouldn't get involved in what your ex tells your son and whether or not you think it's respectful. Do what you can to keep your kid out of this, and stay out of the ex's weird life. Too much drama to be borrowing. Link to post Share on other sites
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