Deano1991 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hello guys, I wanted to ask for your experiences with moving on.. It has been 6 months for me now since being left for another guy, after 5 years of love and I still am nowhere near moved on. How long did it take you guys to move on? I fear I will always be here... Look forward to hearing from everyone Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sorry to hear your struggling What steps have you / are you taking to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deano1991 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sorry to hear your struggling What steps have you / are you taking to move on Hey, I am really doing everything necessary to move on.. I guess the worst part is that she left me for someone else, and till today every time that thought comes to mind, of him and her, my whole body shakes. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 3 YEARS. And then, i went to make amends but it was a bad bad idea Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deano1991 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 3 YEARS. And then, i went to make amends but it was a bad bad idea I'm sorry to hear that.. Were you the dumper? Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hey OP! I was with the ex for a year, then got unceremoniously dumped. It was brutal, one for the record books! It's now been 9 months and I think the worst is over. The first 4-5 months I was an absolute train wreck, I couldnt eat, lost a ton of weight, sleep evaded me, I was constantly crying, all I could think about or talk about what him, I drove my friends, family and even myself to the brink of insanity. Slowly I got better. Luckily for me, I had long been in therapy so that gave me a safe space to discuss and sort out my feelings. I also started gyming again, spent quality time with friends, travelled to three different countries (planning a fourth for the end of the year), purchased a new home and am frantically looking for a new job to take my career to the next level. Point being, I stayed busy and invested in the number one commodity I possess, which is myself. I made the concious decision to keep moving and keep going until I got better. Am I over it? For the most part yes, I still have a bit of shrapnel from the entire ordeal but one thing I take from this is that everything, and I do mean everything, is going to be ok. I know sometimes it feels like you cannot see the wood for the trees and everything around you just seems dark BUT you have to give time, time, gain perspective, wake up everyday saying "you know what, today I may not be 100%, but I am a step further than I was yesterday so let me keep going". Breakups are so hard, they are rejection at its very core because it feels as if someone who you love, cherish and adore is saying that you are not good or worthy enough. But one thing is for certain, that's not the case. We are all good enough. Someone not seeing the value in us is their problem not ours, and there is always someone around the corner who will love us the way we deserve. Keep your chin up OP! Everything is going to be just fine, eventually. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Hello guys, I wanted to ask for your experiences with moving on.. It has been 6 months for me now since being left for another guy, after 5 years of love and I still am nowhere near moved on. How long did it take you guys to move on? I fear I will always be here... Look forward to hearing from everyone There is no formula, believe me...it is usually about half the period of relationship, in accordance with my experience, but no one can say.... I hope you are gonna be fine soon Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 i think this is the ultimate form of rejection , having someone you love leave you for someone else and it must be kiling you inside try looking at it from the view of this person isnt someone you want to be with if they can so can be so easily led astray from you and get with someone else , there no good for you and you can find someone better in only 5 weeks of nc i feel really good becaus i have focused on reality , no spent all my time looking at my ex with rose coloured glasses wishing she would come back its over move on Link to post Share on other sites
jonesey0 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 There is no formula, believe me...it is usually about half the period of relationship, in accordance with my experience, but no one can say.... I hope you are gonna be fine soon If that theory is true, it will take me 7 years to get over her Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 it depends. A crush on a guy I dated for less than a year - generally 3 months. I've dated a guy for 7 years and I got seriously messed up when that ended. I absolutely didn't want to get back with him, but he got me into some serious guilt trips and insecurities that poisoned the next 2-3 years of my life. It actually took me 5 full years to shake all the toxicity and resentment I felt for him out of my system - and I can tell you, when that happens, you feel free, the water tasted differently and the sun shines brighter !! I feel lucky and grateful, some people never manage to get themselves free from the ghosts of their past ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 There is no formula, believe me...it is usually about half the period of relationship, in accordance with my experience, but no one can say.... I hope you are gonna be fine soon I read that somewhere too. . . to be fully healed takes about 1/2 the length of the relationship but it can be shorter. You will make progress every day & in a shorter period of time you may be ready to date again. Given that this was a 5 year relationship, I'd say you should give yourself the rest of this year off from dating. Take some time for yourself Plan your holidays. Keep busy. See where 2016 brings you. It's not that far off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drseuss Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sadly that theory of half the time you were with them to get over them , altho I think it can be done much sooner if your really work hard to move on , I think there is some truth to it , I asked for my grandmothers advice after my break and she told me to just take my time and that it took her 10 years to get over her 19 year marriage after she was cheated on ! So always be thankful this didn't happen after 10 or 20 years or being together Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 2 years for me. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Many people say it can take half-as-long as the relationship to fully heal so, for a five year relationship, you may not feel better for another two years. I was in a very torrid, toxic relationship that was 2 1/2 years long. Its ending is what brought me to this site in 2008. It took me a full two years to get over him and heal... I have since dated others *and* gotten married so it CAN happen! But don't feel badly that you are not over someone in just six months... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deano1991 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Thanks a lot for your replies guys, means a lot Link to post Share on other sites
ennui Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I'm currently 8 months in and I'm still on the road to recovery. However, I feel that things took a turning point for the better when I left for a trip. Somehow my mind just opened up and I'm thinking through some stuff differently. If you're financially capable, book yourself a trip to somewhere. Somewhere beautiful, somewhere that allows you to think and reflect and yet, occupies you as you're busy being mesmerized by the beauty of the place. I've done two other trip. One with lots of drinking, the other with lots of shopping and they didn't had the effect as compared to my latest trip to the beach. So I'll highly suggest that you take a trip to somewhere with nature. Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Im about a year out of a 3 year relationship. I can't yet say I'm completely 100% over her but I'm happy and content with myself and life. Im optimistic about the future and finding love again. So I would say I'm at least half way there. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts