Janejones22 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Hi all, I have been reading this site for awhile now and have decided to ask for some advice on my breakup, as its been over 3 weeks since BU and I am still dealing with some major confusion/anxiety. A little background- Just over 3 weeks ago my BF of 14 months ended things, at the time he said 'I might want to get back with you', 'I know I'll regret this' and 'I can see a future with you'...which didnt help in my understanding of why he decided to end things. On reflection he had been pulling away for a month before he finally ended it, but when I asked him during that month if he wanted to end things he said no. Anyway straight after he ended things his character changed completley, he has been so incredibly cruel that I'm wondering wether he ever loved me at all. He has called me names, made me feel like a complete hassle and hung up on me various times. For the first two weeks I groveled, begging for him back, he was very cold, however about 1 and a half weeks into the breakup we met up and had drinks, then back to his place where I spent the night and we slept together, he was pretty cold the entire time but I was so blinded by despair that simply being around him was enough for me at that point. Anyway during the first few weeks he sent me a few texts, firstly he sent me a text that read 'All I need right now is your voice', when I asked him the next day why he sent it he was cold as hell and said 'I don't know', fast foward to this time last week when I hadn't reached out for 3 days after he hung up on me and was very cruel over the phone he sent me a simple 'hi'. I called him the next day, he said he was busy and that he would call later, I then sent him a message saying I was at peace with the BU (I don't know if i really am, but I just sort of said it anyway, and that I just wanted to talk to him and end things on better terms. He never called back, and I sent him a message informing him that I was no longer going to allow him to dissapoint me, and that I would make no further contact, that was last wednesday, I am writing this the following tuesday, I have not been in contact nor has he. I feel so used and forgotten about, what do you guys make of all of this? We were deeply in love, talked about marriage and kids and at one point he talked about buying me a ring. Worth mentioning he is a high functioning alchoholic, (he is 23, I am 21) and I didnt hide my dissaporoval of this, always wanted him to seek help etc. I also feel that there may be another girl involved, I know of this girl through him (never met her), he swore he had no feelings for her, however shortly after the breakup she made a fake insta account and followed me on it, a few days later I realised it was her and I blocked her, talk about confusing. Anyway I'm feeling a little stronger due to NC, and I have my ups but still a lot of downs, any advice is much apreciated and welcomed. Link to post Share on other sites
Ifeelok Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Im sorry and i understand your pain. i just recently got dumped from a 4.5 year relationship everything seemed well and just like that she broke it off from me the excused she used wasnt very convincing. however my advice is do NC, i know its hard trust me i still struggle trying not to contact her but it does help. not only does it give him time to miss you and see what he has lost, but it also helps you clear your mind work on yourself and become a better version of you. I know everyone tells you different opinions but the honest truth is no one understand quite like you do since you are the one feeling the pain. in my situation her friends tell me to stay positive and give her space, which i have but its hard when the person you love the most walks out on you and you are left with no closure. Like i said give him space, try and stay busy and work on yourself whether its going to the gym, dressing better or whatever you feel you need to do to feel a bit better about this. hopefully with time he realizes what he has lost. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 We were deeply in love, talked about marriage and kids and at one point he talked about buying me a ring. Worth mentioning he is a high functioning alchoholic, (he is 23, I am 21) and I didnt hide my dissaporoval of this, always wanted him to seek help etc.It actually sounds like you were in love with who he might become one day with your encouragement, rather than who he actually is. Link to post Share on other sites
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