Should I ask him why?

[mandycandy]

When my ex-boyfriend broke-up with me, I never pushed to try again, I never messaged how much I missed him or truly liked him. It was always him. Him missing me and really really liking me. Wanting to try again but not being able to because with everything going on he couldn't handle the little fights. Which I understood because he had anxiety issues and depression from the medicines at the time. Plus I think we were getting too close and it scared him, since his last serious girlfriend had left him, I believe for someone else, when he thought everything was going great.

 

He wanted to try again pretty much nearly two months after we broke-up. And after a couple of hangs outs I noticed he was down, and asked him what was wrong. Initially he denied it but later admitted to being down because of stuff. And then he started ignoring me after asking to try dating again.

 

Then now, a year later he messages me. Telling me that he's sorry he called things off between us, and in retrospect I understood him most than others. About how he hadn't had any real ties to our states which is part of why he moved out of state. After noting my profile had an old 'in a relationship' mark from when I tried to get over him, he said he hadn't met anyone worth while and had been seeing someone he recently ended things with because she drove him crazy. Yet I know he had a dating profile for this last year which he was actively on and hadn't turned off until a week before his message to me. And then turned on again after. So I find that doubtful.

 

A couple of days after he asked why did I live so far away. Then a couple of days after claimed he was drunk when he sent it but admits it would be cool to hang out again. Then nothing again.

 

I love him still, I still want to try and be with him but it's a year to late in my opinion for regrets. But also, we live too far away. Yet...

 

Can I at least ask him why he started to ignore me after asking me to try again? He admitted his first message after a year of silence was random in the opener... but that's been in my head for a while now. Should I take a moment to try getting answer from him? When I did nothing but respect his wishes and put him first when he left me???

[aloneinaz]

I love romantic endings in movies and in life but at the same time, I'm a realist. His actions are demonstrating all you need to know about how he is and what he thinks about you and everything else.

 

 

It's been a year and IMOP, you should not consider any further contact or even a reconciliation. It will only reopen all the wounds from the past and leave you hurt further. With his actions, you'd have to wonder if he's gotten his mental health resolved or not? He's already dumped you then vanished on you again.

 

 

You'd be better off focusing on someone new.

[ZiggyZoo]

This relationship doesn't look like something worth revisiting at all. He doesn't seem to know what he wants, and hasn't taken any time since you guys broke up to think about it.

 

I wouldn't bother asking why he hasn't contacted you. Just go back to NC and cut him loose.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

The whys post break up are meaningless & if answered are usually lies. Do you really want someone you love tell you that they can't stand you anymore & want to find someone else?

[foolinlove79]

So my ex has broken up with me many times. About once a year over 6 years. And every time he would jump on a dating website. I know now he kept coming back because he hadnt met anyone else. This time he has met someone so i imagine i wont hear from him again it falls apart.

 

You say you havent heard from him for a year. Keep going and get rid of him. He is a user. And he will leave again If you take him back.

 

You deserve better. Dont waste years on him like i did mine. He hasnt met anyone else. Thats why you hear from him.

 

And these kinds of people know exactly what yo say to suck you back in too. Dont fall for it.

[Qboro90]

He's bored and you are an easy contact for him to make where he can have someone tell him that they like him and he can discuss intimacy and flirt with you to appease that void he's got when the dating sites he's on or the girls he's seeing go cold. If he truly cared about you and wanted to re visit your relationship trust me, he would tell you and show you by trying any way possible to visit you or have you visit him.

 

Don't think that just because he tells you he wasn't seeing anyone that you should take that as "he's still in love with me and hasn't gotten over us". Chances are He wouldn't be fully honest and tell you if he was seeing anyone. That serves no purpose and has no benefit for him to do.

 

What would finding out why he ignored you do for you? What would that answer accomplish? Even if he did (he won't) tell you I can guarantee you that it will be along the lines of "I just wasn't in the same place that you were and didn't want to string you along while I figured myself out". Or just a vague "I'm not sure why I did either, I was really stressed and had a lot going on in my own head, it wasn't fair to you".

 

Don't fall for the BS.