kxpxsc3 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 My ex of 2 years and I broke up 2 months ago. He did the breaking up, as he was moving to another city to get his master's. Looking back, I realize the relationship was overall unhealthy, and he was not the best partner throughout (of course, not always the case, there were times when he treated me very well and things were good). Since then, he has contacted me twice, and we spoke briefly. It has been hard for me to move on. I feel that I am still pining for him and still think about him every day... but for what? I KNOW that he didn't treat me the greatest. Maybe he 'just wasn't that into me' - because if he was, wouldn't he have done everything to make it work and be with me? For me it's hard to not take it personally and realize that I should find someone who does appreciate me and want to be with me. But I also can't help but wonder if he'll ever be the perfect partner with someone else. I feel like I sound stupid, but the heart is a complicated thing. What is the best advice to let go when you don't have another choice??? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 While I am an advocate of NC it's not a one size fits all remedy so don't beat yourself up. It also takes time to unconnect from somebody. 2 months after 2 years is not all that long although it feels longer because you are unhappy. Box up all the mementos. Save the digital pictures some place you won't always see them. Rearrange your living space so it doesn't remind you of him. Make a written list about why this relationship needed to end & read it periodically. Keep yourself busy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 It also takes time to unconnect from somebody. 2 months after 2 years is not all that long although it feels longer because you are unhappy. Totally. I'm only a month in and even though I hate my ex and think she's a disgusting human being for how she treated me. I still miss her. What is going on there? Things started to change for me the minute I decided to make a 180° life change. I plan on moving 1700 miles away starting fresh in a new city. I'm leaving all the baggage and hurt behind. Goodbye old depressing life, Hello sunshine! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I feel like I sound stupid, but the heart is a complicated thing. What is the best advice to let go when you don't have another choice??? Get up out of bed every morning, do your stuff, make sure you plan some activities, make fun in the weekends and no contact. There's not much more to it than this actually. No magic recipe. I suggest you keep on posting on LS and read other people's threads. There are some incredible stories on this forum that made me feel like a little baby because I 'only' got dumped by a very immature ex. Also I find it very useful to help other people out and share my experiences. It's a slow process, so be prepared. My ex broke up with me three months ago, and she's still on top of my mind every day. Sometimes it feels like an unhealthy obsession, but I don't beat myself up over it. Neither should you. Guess it will take some time to change those thinking patterns. Feel what you want to feel. No shame in missing your ex, it's very natural to ride that rollercoaster of emotions. Just be sure you try to avoid and actively change the self destructing thoughts, because those thoughts are your real enemy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kxpxsc3 Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 Thanks everyone for your replies! I feel stupid missing a crappy ex. I feel like it SHOULD be a weight lifted off my shoulders, but it's not I've been trying to meet new people and have fun, but at the end of the day he's still the person I think about Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Thanks everyone for your replies! I feel stupid missing a crappy ex. I feel like it SHOULD be a weight lifted off my shoulders, but it's not I've been trying to meet new people and have fun, but at the end of the day he's still the person I think about And I'm sure you understand that's perfectly normal. You've gotten some great advice. Keep yourself busy. Join a gym and work out. I am an advocate of hardcore NC. Every time you talk to an ex, you pull the scab off the wound. Having been where you are 2 plus years ago, I did do the hardcore NC route. I block her on everything. I avoided going anywhere I may run into her. I can tell you it helped me move on. You may consider casually dating again too. There's nothing better than having a fun date w/the opposite sex to lift your spirits and improve your self esteem. I started causal dating 6 weeks after I was dumped. It did help me. I then met my now 2 year GF who lives with me a few months after my last ex dumped me. How do I feel now? I couldn't be more grateful for my ex ending us. I'd of never met my GF now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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