realistically speaking.. would you ask for them back?

[Jay13094]

if you broke your significant others heart and it ended very bad with them hating you. Once time passed and you feel regret for ended things with them would you be able to go back to them and ask for them back? or would you not ever be able to because of your pride and that it would be "ridiculous of me to ask for him/her back"

 

example scenario: you cheated on your significant other

[SammySammy]

No, I wouldn't ask for them back.

 

While I have never cheated on a significant other, I have broken a few of their hearts. I might look back and regret the way it ended, but there's always a reason it ended. That reason is still there despite the fact we could have gone our separate ways in a better fashion.

 

So ... no. I wouldn't want them back. Exes are exes for a reason.

[aloneinaz]

I'd let it lie and leave her alone. It would be unfair to contact her again if you've not been talking to her and bring up all this pain and drama again. I'd also be shocked if she'd even consider it.

[seasickpeeve]

I've only ever looked back on ex's with regret for maybe something I did wrong whilst I was with them. I've only reached out to apologise but I've never wanted to get back with them. I've usually lost feelings by the time I've left.

 

Of course it's possible. People could regret, feel guilty but feel it's a hopeless situation and just leave it.

 

Are you hoping this is whats going on for your ex?

[mightycpa]

Why would anybody end it, and then regret that later? I can't imagine what would cause someone to sever a relationship, and then somehow decide later on that it was a big mistake. This sounds like a person who can't look into themselves or into the future. It sounds like someone you can't count on. It sounds like someone who is very immature.

 

I'd never do that to myself or to someone else. I'd never allow that to be done to me either.

[Jay13094]

I've only ever looked back on ex's with regret for maybe something I did wrong whilst I was with them. I've only reached out to apologise but I've never wanted to get back with them. I've usually lost feelings by the time I've left.

 

Of course it's possible. People could regret, feel guilty but feel it's a hopeless situation and just leave it.

 

Are you hoping this is whats going on for your ex?

 

thats true. and well, yeah i guess so. He still checks up on all my social media stuff so he knows what i've been up to. I rather not know what he's doing so for that he's not involved in my life at all- but I do know that he's been hanging with that girl he cheated on with me with recently (not the part that bothers me) but basically to him he knows i want nothing to do with him and don't want to be friends at all. Whenever i run into him when I'm out he will always be one to come up and say hi to me and we don't even really have small talk but he'll just stare at me the whole night and be around where I'm at and what not. But of course i'd like to think that he still has feelings but b/c he doesn't want to commit or b/c he hurt me too much to even ask for me back that he's just letting it go.

[ExpatInItaly]

No, I have never done this. In my young and very immature years, I was unfaithful to a long-term boyfriend. While he never found out (to my knowledge) I had no regrets about ending it. I knew that if I was able to do something like that, I wasn't in love with him anymore and couldn't be with him. So while it was hard for me to know I hurt him by ending it, I don't regret that the relationship was finished.

[seasickpeeve]

I think people can break up with people they love, but I don't think they could break up with someone they're in love with. Well, I know I never could. Being in love is all about hope and optimism and someone who breaks up has lost those two things.

[DJOkawari]

Whether or not they'll ask you depends on the person. The fact that your ex has not reached out or asked to see you is the key here. If he's not trying to at least spend time with you, alone, in some manner, he isn't interested.

 

I've had an ex who came back to me crying and asking for a second chance - in public! I've had an ex who would message me things I was interested in and invite me to coffee while she waited for me to bring up the topic of dating again (both of these Exes left me for another guy initially).

 

The key is that they were putting in effort. From your story I don't see that effort and I think you should move on.

 

Why would anybody end it, and then regret that later? I can't imagine what would cause someone to sever a relationship, and then somehow decide later on that it was a big mistake.

 

Maybe it is a symptom of immaturity but I find that it is very common for people to regret a break up. Oftentimes in long relationships people begin to take things for granted and only once they've lost it, do they realize the value of their loss.

[Jay13094]

 

The key is that they were putting in effort. From your story I don't see that effort and I think you should move on.

 

I guess he just finally gave up then. initially we ended things in january, but he wasn't out of my hairs til may. He tried to hang out multiple times, would call/text every weekend but i didn't answer him I was in NC during that time. He even asked if he could move into my apartment 4 months after we ended b/c he said

"he trusts me the most, and no one knows him better than me" since he had to move out of his place by a certain date (keep in mind, we'd be sharing a bed but we wouldn't even be fwb) but of course i didn't let that happen as throughout all our hang outs- he just wanted to be "friends" whatever that meant. I was pretty much all or nothing... either we were dating or nothing.. But in May was when he took the tv he "gave" to me and then after that.. no contact.

 

now present time.. we're in august and yet i'm still writing about him. I can't tell if I'm just in crazy denial or just have problems lol. I will say tho that he was my first love. We're in our early 20's so i know its hard to gauge it being anything but "serious" but i fell. hard.

 

I guess what i just wanted to see from him was fighting for me and wanting me back. Wishful thinking at is finest.

[Jay13094]

Why would anybody end it, and then regret that later? I can't imagine what would cause someone to sever a relationship, and then somehow decide later on that it was a big mistake. This sounds like a person who can't look into themselves or into the future. It sounds like someone you can't count on. It sounds like someone who is very immature.

 

I'd never do that to myself or to someone else. I'd never allow that to be done to me either.

 

well I ended it, not him. Because he was caught lying and sleeping around with this chick so I dipped. What i'm saying is that on his end would he regret that he ended a good thing w/ me for some home wrecker ( i say home wrecker, b/c she knew about me before i found out about her ) but true. he doesn't know what he wants so.