How should i act?

[danieluke]

Hey all, I wanted to share with you my story, maybe you'll get me a helpful advice how should i act.

 

So my gf and I were dated for 3 months, and everything was really great, we haven't fought even once, we loved each other a lot. As two people with difficulty to develop emotions to people, we managed to get into each other hearts really this time, for both of us its the first time for 2 years to have that feeling inside.

 

She now taking courses to get into the academy and it gets her really nervous and short. Most of her day goes for learning and studying.

We planned a trip together, and we sat together to find hotels on one day evening, then, something happen, I can't explain what, neither is she, and she finished the relationship the day after that.

 

In the breakup conversation, she said things like "Im doing it with half heart, I may regret it, but for now it's time for me to focus on my studying". She also said things like "you are the type of a man I want to live with", in the late evening she texts me "the relief that I was planned to feel isn't come, instead i feel sadness and missed really good opportunity. I want to believe that after that hard period in my life, if our relationship worth something, it will happen again".

 

What do you thing really might happen? How should I act to bring her back to my life?

 

We haven't talk for the last two weeks since the breakup.

 

Thanks a lot

[Xiomn]

My breakup was very similar, she wanted to, yep it's that line again "focus on herself" basically we are both university students but I'm 2 years ahead of her. She said she wanted to focus on university and her passion for writing (she aspires to be a great writer one day and is planning on publishing her first book soon and hopes to write a best seller) she's also looking for a job alongside all of that and so she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now because she needs to commit to that and nothing else if she wants to get to where she wants to be in life.

 

Well I'm afraid this line of excuse maybe somewhat legitimate but deep down overall I think it's a load of crap.

 

If you love someone then you will always find a way to try and make things work between you no matter how difficult the circumstances may be and even if you know you will have to make sacrifices such as not seeing each other as often as they normally would if your significant other feels they need time and space to themselves to focus on other things in life at the moment.

 

You could try putting that to her but I warn you it didn't work with me at all, I believe if you think my situation is similar to yours you should tell her that, only then will you truly find out, like I did, whether she truly loves you enough or not to try and make things work between you.

[danieluke]

Thank you for sharing the almost same situation.

 

I didn't lose hope, and probably it may be hard time, but only time can heal it.

[mightycpa]

Don't act, there are very few circumstances that should require you to not be who you really are.

 

Be a ghost. When someone says that other things are higher priorities than you are, it behooves you to pay attention, and take them at their word, no hard feelings.

 

If your buddy told you he's going to work double shifts for the next three months, so he can't hang with you anymore, you'd accept that. You got told the same thing, except this had an indefinite ending. What this really means is that you are a low priority for as far as she can see into the future.

 

Be a ghost. Don't act like one. Be one.

[Satu]

Never 'act.'

 

Ever.

 

Be exactly the same person on the outside, as you are on the inside.

 

Genuineness is something that is universally admired and appreciated.

[Sugarkane]

Her excuse was BS. Im married and studying. It is possible.