HasToEnd Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Hi everyone. I have been lurking here for a while, and today has finally pushed me to join. I am in no state to write out my story at the moment, I'm in the process of ridding myself of a very toxic 8+yr long relationship but I needed to reach out to someone in some way and express my pain. He called today, about an hour ago...and I didn't answer! It's been 125 days of NC. (Okay maybe I have a "Survived Without Him" counter on my phone still, but give me a break here most days I forget to look at it now.) He's been calling me on and off for almost 2 months now. I haven't answered yet, and it got easier at first, and then it got harder... I know I need to do this but sometimes it's so hard. I'll keep reading here and breathe and get through this minute. I'm not really looking for advice (although I wouldn't be adverse to it!) just maybe some support. HasToEnd 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 You've been heard. Stay strong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 4 months is not a long time but keep at the NC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Even when it's harder, even on the hard days you're making progress. Every moment that you're accepting that its over and making the conscious decision to let go and let be; you're making progress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Welcome! Lost of good folks and support here. Post your story when you're up to it. By using "toxic" in the description of the failed relationship, stay NC and ignore him. You're on the right track to continue to heal. Read all the threads here including the NC thread. Lots of good info 1 Link to post Share on other sites
raidmax Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 How did you identify that it was a toxic relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HasToEnd Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Thank you for all the support already guys, what a great community. I'm hanging in there, just really sad at the moment. @raidmax There's no simple way to answer that. But I knew it was a toxic relationship because we kept going in circles, getting in the same fights, breaking the same promises. Getting nowhere but further hurt by each other. He stopped making me happy and started ADDING to my stress. To this day, when he reaches out I can feel my heart pound even when I don't respond - and not in a good way. Link to post Share on other sites
raidmax Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 What advice would you give to others which are going through NC? (me included) Link to post Share on other sites
Author HasToEnd Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 (edited) The most honest thing I can tell you @raidmax is that it's kind of a "grin and bear it" type of thing. It gets easier as the days pass, and it definitely helps me to have a counter of the days I have gotten through - but I don't know if that would help or be more of a detriment to you, it all depends on your personality I suppose. You'll have good days and bad days, but those moments where you really feel like breaking NC, DISTRACT DISTRACT DISTRACT. Listen to music, watch a show, do some exercise ect. Just like you would with any physical pain, take deep breaths and wait it out and eventually it won't hurt so bad. Can I ask how long you've been NC? Edited August 3, 2015 by HasToEnd wrong word Link to post Share on other sites
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