Crisis!! I'm a major wreck!!!

[turtledove07]

I was privately messaged one day on facebook and asked to meet for coffee by a guy. I checked out his profile and thought he was cute so I agreed.

The moment we met it was literally love at first sight. We began seeing each other, learning that we had TONS in common! Things were going fast

and furious at the 2nd month. We discussed moving in, he told me he was so in love with me he would marry me some day. The feelings were quite mutual to say the least. We discussed our feelings openly all the time, he told me he loved me, needed me, thought about my 24/7. Things were going great! I even met his 15 year old son two times, going out to dinner. He would tell me that he told his closest friends about me, including his family. After the 3rd month things started slowing down. He needed to establish a full-time job, other than his part-time job, seek out some mental therapy for himself and deal with his sons mother who was causing him issues. Because of this stress, it seemed as though he pulled away from me, still keeping in touch through texting, but not seeing him at all. I brought this up and was concerned about it. He said he needed to fix the issues in his life and that he hoped I was ready when he was. I thought this was bull**** because none of this stopped him from seeing me before. He had reassured me that his feelings were still there and they wouldn't change, and he hoped I wouldn't ignore him. I was so hurt I ignored him for a day and a half. Because of that he has now blocked me on facebook for 8 days so far. No contact from him at all. I have sent 2-3 emails but got no reply. I'm hopelessly looking for an answer. I'm a wreck!!!!!!! Is he just going to leave it at that???? After all that? What should I do, and how do I proceed????

[mightycpa]

I was privately messaged one day on facebook and asked to meet for coffee by a guy. I checked out his profile and thought he was cute so I agreed.

The moment we met it was literally love at first sight. We began seeing each other, learning that we had TONS in common! Things were going fast

and furious at the 2nd month. We discussed moving in, he told me he was so in love with me he would marry me some day. The feelings were quite mutual to say the least. We discussed our feelings openly all the time, he told me he loved me, needed me, thought about my 24/7. Things were going great! I even met his 15 year old son two times, going out to dinner. He would tell me that he told his closest friends about me, including his family. After the 3rd month things started slowing down. He needed to establish a full-time job, other than his part-time job, seek out some mental therapy for himself and deal with his sons mother who was causing him issues. Because of this stress, it seemed as though he pulled away from me, still keeping in touch through texting, but not seeing him at all. I brought this up and was concerned about it. He said he needed to fix the issues in his life and that he hoped I was ready when he was. I thought this was bull**** because none of this stopped him from seeing me before. He had reassured me that his feelings were still there and they wouldn't change, and he hoped I wouldn't ignore him. I was so hurt I ignored him for a day and a half. Because of that he has now blocked me on facebook for 8 days so far. No contact from him at all. I have sent 2-3 emails but got no reply. I'm hopelessly looking for an answer. I'm a wreck!!!!!!! Is he just going to leave it at that???? After all that? What should I do, and how do I proceed????

Because he has a 15 year old, clearly he's no spring chicken. I assume that you aren't either.

 

By now, you should know that when love erupts like fireworks, it pretty much ends like that too.

 

Walk away with your dignity intact, or lose your dignity for no reason. I think those are your two choices.

[pidgeon1010]

This is advice that I posted to others on here which applies to your situation.

 

Be careful of a man who acts too eager in the beginning and seems too good to be true because chances are he’ll vanish as quickly as he appeared. This is not Prince Charming. This is a man waving a giant red flag in your face. Chances are he’s insecure, needy and suffers low self-esteem. He’s learned, through a series of painful mishaps, that it’s much easier to pretend to want the real deal than it is to do the work necessary to create a real relationship.

 

This guy is insincere and he’s not genuine. How could he be? How can anyone be so into someone they really haven’t had to the time to fully get to know? He wants to hurry this process along so he can get in and get out just as quickly.

 

BEWARE OF THESE SIGNS: He'll compliment you, he'll act as if he's really interested, he'll communicate regularly and with gusto in the early stages and he'll come on very strong at first.

 

So fast that you'll never see it coming. It’s the ole “sweep her off her feet” method . . . that generally ends with him dumping you on your ass. This guy is emotionally immature and lacks the social skills necessary to interact in a genuine manner – so he fakes it.

[turtledove07]

You are right!!! He is very insecure with himself. I'm virtually heartbroken that he has not contacted me at all when we've been communicating 100 a day for 4 months!!! Should I act like I don't care?? I do believe he does love me, I just don't know what I did to cause him to be so mad that he just deleted me out of his life..

[Hoosfoos]

Don't make any life-altering decisions based on the highs of the honeymoon stage.

[aloneinaz]

You are right!!! He is very insecure with himself. I'm virtually heartbroken that he has not contacted me at all when we've been communicating 100 a day for 4 months!!! Should I act like I don't care?? I do believe he does love me, I just don't know what I did to cause him to be so mad that he just deleted me out of his life..

 

 

Sweetie,

 

 

Re-read what you're writing here. There are MAJOR red flags, all over your posts about this person highlighted by him vanishing on you after you didn't speak to him for a day. He has a 15 YO so he's got to be at least mid-30's, right? Is that the kind of person you want to have in your life? Why wouldn't he of simply called you and to discuss what you were upset about vs. blocking and ignoring you? The other issues you listed "mental issues", job, etc.. are all screaming red flags..

 

 

As it was mentioned to you already, keep your dignity and pride. Vanish from this guy's life and DON'T contact him again. Be glad it was only for a VERY short time frame.

[stopping]

You are right!!! He is very insecure with himself. I'm virtually heartbroken that he has not contacted me at all when we've been communicating 100 a day for 4 months!!! Should I act like I don't care?? I do believe he does love me, I just don't know what I did to cause him to be so mad that he just deleted me out of his life..

 

So you decided to lash out and ignore him for 1.5 days...now you are upset because he is ignoring you.

 

I hope you two hash this out. Remember in the future to not use manipulation because it hurts twice as much going against you

 

 

I did this and I lost a person I care about...my own fault

[turtledove07]

So you decided to lash out and ignore him for 1.5 days...now you are upset because he is ignoring you.

 

I hope you two hash this out. Remember in the future to not use manipulation because it hurts twice as much going against you

 

 

I did this and I lost a person I care about...my own fault

 

 

 

ok but 1.5 days is nothing compared to 8 going on 9! And I did send an email stating that I needed a little time to collect my thoughts. I don't take blame here, at least I was respectful and let him know. I'm getting nothing...

[DaisyBug]

This is advice that I posted to others on here which applies to your situation.

 

Be careful of a man who acts too eager in the beginning and seems too good to be true because chances are he’ll vanish as quickly as he appeared. This is not Prince Charming. This is a man waving a giant red flag in your face. Chances are he’s insecure, needy and suffers low self-esteem. He’s learned, through a series of painful mishaps, that it’s much easier to pretend to want the real deal than it is to do the work necessary to create a real relationship.

 

This guy is insincere and he’s not genuine. How could he be? How can anyone be so into someone they really haven’t had to the time to fully get to know? He wants to hurry this process along so he can get in and get out just as quickly.

 

BEWARE OF THESE SIGNS: He'll compliment you, he'll act as if he's really interested, he'll communicate regularly and with gusto in the early stages and he'll come on very strong at first.

 

So fast that you'll never see it coming. It’s the ole “sweep her off her feet” method . . . that generally ends with him dumping you on your ass. This guy is emotionally immature and lacks the social skills necessary to interact in a genuine manner – so he fakes it.

 

 

This is brilliant.

 

 

Truly, beware of the man who falls way too fast and way too hard. They are often impulsive, with their feelings for you turning on a dime.

 

 

I know it's hard, but do not beg him back. This is not a man for the long haul. NC!!!

[LoveAnimals]

This is brilliant.

 

 

Truly, beware of the man who falls way too fast and way too hard. They are often impulsive, with their feelings for you turning on a dime.

 

 

I know it's hard, but do not beg him back. This is not a man for the long haul. NC!!!

 

 

All of this. Move on OP. His feelings for you are fickle because they were shallow in the first place. Do not invest anymore of your precious heart and time with this man. He has obvious issues.