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Bad Timing, or Selfish Move?


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Friendly-chap

Hey folks,

 

This is my first post. So thanks in advance for the time and responses.

 

Three weeks ago, I went to visit the love of my life at her 3 month summer job in the Canadian Rockies. She was about one month into the stay at that point.

 

Let me give you a background on us; and by background I mean novel. Haha

 

We had discussed prior to her leaving that we would rent a place and move in together when she returned. I have a great job, close to home, I earn 70k/yr and have great benefits. So it's hard to leave this. I am university educated, 26 years old, but still live with my parents. She is 23 with no post secondary education, and a desire to travel.

 

A few weeks before travelling out there she had told me she went skinny dipping. Naturally I felt I needed to know who it was with. After telling me I was treating her like a child for having asked who she was with, I was told it was with two girl friends and another guy. She reassured me nothing had happened, and that she was in her bra and panties (I know.. Not exactly skinny dipping, right? Kind of confusing to me too). I told her I was a little uncomfortable with that, simply because I felt it was disrespectful to me. I feel if you wouldn't do something in front of my face, it is definitely not appropriate to do it when we're 2000km apart. She told me she's just making friends, and she'd do it again even though I was hurt. I digress...

 

On the third day of my trip, I asked her what her career plan was after the 3 month contract was over. Would she stay for another 3 months? A year? After all, I knew she loved it. Without so much as a hesitation, she said she'd like to stay for a year. But said we'd have to cross that bridge when the time came. I felt like I was a low priority in her life. I had previously quit a good job that required travel to live in our hometown town with her, and now I wasn't even included in the conversation basically. I wouldn't have asked her not to, I just thought she'd want to know how I felt and how it would effect us before saying she'd stay for the year.

 

I ended things after being there for 4 of my 7 days. I booked my flight for the next day. She spent the night at a girlfriends, I spent the night in her room. It was the hardest night I've ever been through. And now I feel like I should have fought for our relationship more. And it breaks my heart seeing her moving on. I just want unbiased opinions as to whether it seems like I gave up on things? Or was I right? Do I deserve a little more respect and courtesy after 15 months of dating and having made plans to live together?

 

Anyway, thanks everyone. I just needed to vent a bit!

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She is 23 years old. She isn't ready for a serious relationship.

 

There was nothing to fight for...

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She is 23 years old. She isn't ready for a serious relationship.

 

There was nothing to fight for...

 

It's true. I dated a 23-year-old girl when I turned 30. She was very immature. It didn't last long, her immaturity was causing me waaaay too much stress.

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She sounds immature and like she didn't care about your feelings very much. Chalk this up as a learning experience and find a better woman! You did the right thing.

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She is 23 years old. She isn't ready for a serious relationship.

 

There was nothing to fight for...

 

 

 

This^^

 

 

She's WAY to young and immature to settle down into a serious, committed relationship. She wants to be single and free to do what she pleases at that age. I'm sure she wants adventure and more experiences before really getting serious with anyone.

 

 

I think you did the right thing in feeling what she was laying down and then exiting the R/S on your terms.

 

 

Find someone your age who's sowed her wild oats and is ready for a serious, committed relationship.

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Friendly-chap

Thanks folks! This was my gut feeling too. I went to university, and decided it was best to do it as a single, young man. And I told her she deserves the same opportunity. It's an opportunity to live independently, and discover yourself.

 

I really appreciate the replies! It's nice hearing a different perspective. Thanks :)

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