girlfriend left me for another guy and sent me photos day after breakup

[mano1982]

I was reading some of these posts and thought maybe someone out there can help me get through this. Basically ive been with the girl for almost two years. I loved her very much. Last summer i took all the money I had saved up and went to Greece to spend a month with her. in the winter she lives here in the States and in the summer she visits her father and brother in Greece. she met me at the airport madly in love was so happy to see me I took her to visit my family in a different part of that country. she was cutting my food in front of them hugging me kissing me putting on quite the show. then I went with her 13 hours away to her part where her family is from. one thing I want to add is she thought it was appropriate that I asked what her there and that she be seen with me escorting her to her area. on the trip there should be complaining a little bit that that I wasn't getting up early enough in the first couple days we were thereand I was spending too much time with my family without her present. meaning at night I would walk her to my house wait for her to fall asleep and then I would go spend an hour with them.

 

I hadn't seen them in years. anyways she took me to her area 13 hours away and broke up with me as soon as we got there. honestly I couldn't see straight I'll never forget that feeling. I picked up my pieces went back to my area and spent the last two weeks of my summer crying myself to sleep not leaving the house or visiting anybody. I came back to the States she was on the flight with me and she came and found me and was being very sweet which was strange considering how heartless she had just been. months later something to me somewhere started crying and telling me that you needed me and miss me and I'll stop so against my better judgement or I guess 1 day I woke up and we were back together. the next 8 months we spent everyday together she told me how much she loved me we had good moments but I noticed she would complain whenever I would see a friend or bring a friend out with us. even though I would see her everyday she seemed to always bring up that I wasn't giving her enough attention.

 

now let's get through this summer a month ago I dropped her off at the airport she was in tears she didn't want to leave me. kissing me hugging me I love you all that stuff. I couldn't see straight when I was leaving at the airport because of how sad I was that I would have to spend the next two months without her. kind of ironic a trooper who was doing security there put his hand on my shoulder and told me should be back not to worry. even reading this right now it's extremely difficult. anyways she left early this summer so she could come back August 1st and we could go on vacation here together. the first month was great she miss me everyday we talk the I love you's everything. then I noticed a complaint that I wasn't sending her goodnight messages when I went home at night even though every night until she fell asleep I stayed on the phone with her and spoke to her but she wanted me to send these messages when I got home a few hours later.

 

Then she told me she was getting off her medication that the doctor put her on because she didn't think she needed it. I told her to wait till she got back and do it the right way under the doctor's supervision. then her friends came for a week. I noticed a slight change and she told me she was just going through something and preoccupied and a little depressed getting off the meds. I noticed she was being tagged in posts with the strange guy who I had never heard of before but they were all together with her friends so I assumed it was a mutual friend and he was just part of the group. she kept complaining about the goodnight messages before iphone sleep this 1 on for about 3 days four days. then I found out from her travel agent that she wasn't coming back till Septembr. I confronted her it was the day before my birthday and a week before my bar exam to become an attorney. she admitted it and claimed her mother book the tickets and she had no idea. I know her mother she wanted her to come back sooner than later so I know I had a feeling she wasn't telling me the whole story. I became really hurt because I realize that our vacation plans we're gone I realize that she wasn't coming back anytime soon and I had a feeling that there was something else going on.

 

I hung up on her give myself a day to cool off and then called her the next day. she was furious and very vicious at how I could have hung up on her. the following day which was my birthday I get a message from her an email with the picture of the guy I was questioning. she said it was an accident and she was sending it to him. I know it was an accident she had to open up my email attach it and send it she wanted me to know that she was spending time with him. this is the same girl who didn't want me to have a female tutor to help me for my exam because she thought it was inappropriate. the following day I kept getting messages from her very angry and vicious telling me that my plan backfired and if I thought by hanging up on her she would chase me I had another thing coming. I was just really heart and realize that our summer plans were gone so I became upset I didn't talk to her for a day she was making it seem like I did something horrible. the following day this guy started posting pictures of the two of them tagging her arm in arm kissing hugging holding each other. words couldn't describe the shock that I experienced the heartache the pain was unbelievable and still is.

 

I messaged her friends and ask them how she could do that what was going on what happened. she sent me a message saying that he's giving her things I could never give her and she was happy with him. he saw her vulnerable and he took advantage of it but how could she do this I was sitting here waiting for her like an idiot . just last week she was crazy telling me how much you love me and now this. a couple of my friends that know her are telling me that she is borderline or narcissist or something but I don't know much about this stuff

Edited July 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs

[Downtown]

She told me she was just going through something and preoccupied and a little depressed getting off the meds.

Mano, welcome to the LoveShack forum. What medication was she taking? What was she being treated for?

 

A couple of my friends that know her are telling me that she is borderline or narcissist or something but I don't know much about this stuff.

Mano, if you are interested, you may want to take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most of those signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of these warning signs at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid another very painful experience -- i.e., avoid taking her back (as you've done before) and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like the one you left. Take care, Mano.

[aloneinaz]

There's nothing there with her or that relationship to salvage or worry about any further. She sounds like she's early 20's?

 

 

* You've broke up twice now. That's two, too many times.

* She cheated on you and jumped ship to the other guy.

 

 

Those two things say you should heal from this girl and move forward with your life. When you're feeling better, start dating again. This site is littered with stories like yours everyday. It's so common for relationships to end suddenly and the other person has a new relationship days/weeks later. It's even more common with folks that are in their early to mid-20's. At that age, people want life experience and want to date many people so they know what they like and don't like in a future marriage.

 

 

Stick around this site. Read the NC thread and many of the threads here.

[mano1982]

Wellbutrin is the only one i know but there are others. I believe wellbutrin was the one she stopped taking

[mano1982]

Downtown,

 

10 of those 13 points are identical to her behavior. some things I didn't mention were her upbringing was very bad very difficult her relationships according to her after that we're also extremely abusive. she was pushed into a relationship at 12 years old sexual and she left the guy when she was 16. she had a heroin problem a few years ago when she was 18 or 19 but she claims she came out of it and never touched it again. but this happens in the summer when she goes there in the summer that's when she changes and turns into a completely different person the first month she was fine everything was normal and then like it was over night. just like last summer but last summer she claimed there was no other guy the only reason I'm finally over this now is because I saw those pictures I don't know if she put them up or if he just tagged her but she allowed them to stay up knowing I was going to see them her own friends were horrified. my guess is she was demanding this unrealistic attention while I was studying for my exam and giving her her space over there but I still talk to her everyday and she was putting me down around her friends for very silly reasons and they told her or begin to convince her that she can do better and then this guy came along and further validated what she was saying to them because she confided in him as well however he had ulterior motives. I just can't believe it I'm in shock just a week ago she was telling me how much she loved me and was so happy her friend show up she begins to be value me around them and then this happens.

 

I even asked her before she left not to go there and start complaining about silly things because I was afraid she was easily influenced chess with her friends her family loves me but they walk on eggshells around her and I've noticed that. it's like they're afraid of something that she might do or a reaction she treats her family this way as well it's not just me I've seen her go into rages but she needs them so her rages don't last as long. all this happened on my birthday a week and a half ago and I've got the bar exam in 3 days and I'm completely beside myself I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know how she could do this at a time like this just last week she loved me this is cruel and I just don't understand how I believe this person who could be so hateful at the drop of a hat

Edited July 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Gus Grimly]

even reading this right now it's extremely difficult.

 

I agree, it's tough to read your post.

[mano1982]

Every time i try to edit it locks me out

Sorry about that.

[Chi townD]

Dude, you need to start a hard NC on her. You need to BLOCK her from Facebook and all other forms of social media. If she texts, ignore it. If she calls let it go to voicemail, do not answer it. If her texts and VM's are driving you insane and you want to answer, stop! Take a deep breath and post about it here instead.

 

 

Then, you need to start working on you. The ONLY thing you have control over is YOU! You need to start making positive changes in your life. Start going to the gym. That's going to burn off the stress and frustrations you've been having. Plus, if you eat right and get plenty of sleep, you're going to work on that ripped and hard bod that girls are definitely like. Get a new hairstyle and a new wardrobe. Something people are going to like and say, "Damn dude! Looking sharp!" That's going to help with your self confidence.

 

 

And if you were suppose to go on vacation with her, oh well! Goo on vacation by yourself or take a friend with you. Change the destination. Go to the Bahamas or Jamaica. Get new hobbies and put yourself out there. STAY BUSY!!!!

 

 

Sooner or later, she will probably reach out to you. Guilt is going to get to her and she will want to explain that what she did to you was entirely your fault somehow. So don't even entertain talking to her. It's a waste of time.

 

 

Time to heal dude. Time to get busy and get to work.

[Downtown]

Downtown, 10 of those 13 points are identical to her behavior.

Mano, there are 18 warning signs listed, not 13. If you would be interested in discussing them, it would be helpful if you would tell us which apply very strongly (e.g., 3, 5, 8, etc.) and which don't apply at all. Toward that end, I am copying the list below:

 

• 1. Black-white thinking, wherein she categorizes everyone as "all good" or "all bad" and will recategorize someone -- in just a few seconds -- from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor comment or infraction;
  
• 2. Frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like "you always" and "you never;"
  
• 3. Irrational jealousy and controlling behavior that tries to isolate you away from close friends or family members;
  
• 4. A strong sense of entitlement that prevents her from appreciating your sacrifices, resulting in a "what have you done for me lately?" attitude and a double standard ;
  
• 5. Flipping, on a dime, between adoring you and devaluing you -- making you feel like you're always walking on eggshells;
  
• 6. Frequently creating drama over issues so minor that neither of you can recall what the fight was about two days later;
  
• 7. Low self esteem;
  
• 8. Verbal abuse and anger that is easily triggered, in seconds, by a minor thing you say or do (real or imagined), resulting in temper tantrums or cold sulking that typically start in seconds and last several hours;
  
• 9. Fear of abandonment or being alone -- evident in her expecting you to “be there” for her on demand, making unrealistic demands for the amount of time spent together, or responding with intense anger to even brief separations or slight changes in plans;
  
• 10. Always being "The Victim," a false self image she validates by blaming you for every misfortune;
  
• 11. Lack of impulse control, wherein she does reckless things without considering the consequences (e.g., binge eating or spending);
  
• 12. Complaining that all her previous BFs were abusive and claiming (during your courtship) that you are the only one who has treated her well;
  
• 13. Mirroring your personality and preferences so perfectly during the courtship period (e.g., enjoying nearly everything and everyone you like) that you were convinced you had met your "soul mate;"
  
• 14. Relying on you to center and ground her, giving her a sense of direction because her goals otherwise keep changing every few months;
  
• 15. Relying on you to sooth her and calm her down, when she is stressed, because she has so little ability to do self soothing;
  
• 16. Having casual friends -- perhaps many of them -- but not any close long-term friends (unless they live a long distance away);
  
• 17. Taking on the personality of whatever person she is talking to, thereby acting quite differently around different types of people; and
  
• 18. Always convinced that her intense feelings accurately reflect reality -- to the point that she regards her own feelings as self-evident facts, despite her inability to support them with any hard evidence.
  

[Learningtowalkagain]

Mano, welcome to the LoveShack forum. What medication was she taking? What was she being treated for?

 

 

Mano, if you are interested, you may want to take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs. If most of those signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of these warning signs at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you.

 

Significantly, learning to spot these warning signs will NOT enable you to diagnose your exGF's issues. Only a professional can do that. Yet, like learning warning signs for stroke and heart attack, learning those for BPD may help you avoid another very painful experience -- i.e., avoid taking her back (as you've done before) and avoid running into the arms of another woman just like the one you left. Take care, Mano.

 

Just curious how did you compile this list of BDP traits? My ex meets a majority of them on a deep level. Is this something put together by a psychologists or relationship expert or just your observations?

[mano1982]

Thank u guys, and it would be very useful to discuss these things if you don't mind. Those points hit it right on the head and what I've noticed is that her parents have been pushing me to be with her yet they walk on eggshells around her especially when she goes to these personality changes they are very very delicate so it sounds like there is something deeper going on.

 

I believe they happen in Greece because here she needs me just like she needs her parents, her mother and stepfather. so she does not stay mad for too long but just like last summer when she's there she de values me and her friends agree with her or whoever she tells and the way she spins it and she has her support group at which point I become worthless. she never appreciated that I even travel across the world to spend a month with her last summer her appreciation was breaking my heart into a million pieces. she showed absolutely no empathy or even an apology.

 

She convinced herself that there was nothing wrong with her behavior. just like she is doing now again what have I gotten myself into and why didn't I listen to the people that cared about me. when that thing happened last summer my parents friends relatives immediately told me to get away. my father had her pegged from the beginning before I even said hello to her he told me not to go near her. but I fell in love with her or she manipulated me into falling in love with her. so what next I am moving on and I will not contact her again but shes coming back in a month.

 

I won't go anywhere near her I'm just trying to get over seeing those pictures. they broke my heart to see her in someone else's arms. and this new guy or maybe he was an old guy I never knew about just got cheated on himself and he's posting pictures and tagging her so my friends can see them and so everyone else can but she was mine a week ago she was supposedly in love with me.

Edited July 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed personal email address & paragraphs

[Downtown]

Just curious how did you compile this list of BDP traits?

Learning, my list generally provides two real-world examples for each of the nine defining traits for BPD.

[Learningtowalkagain]

Learning, my list generally provides two real-world examples for each of the nine defining traits for BPD.

 

Damn this makes so much sense. While my ex didn't do extreme things like attempt suicide or cut herself she meets a lot of the other criteria. Especially the push/pull part. I'd break up with her, she'd act normal again for a bit, then it was right back to crazy town.

 

Her parents weren't around when she was younger and she was raised by her grandparents and her grandfather was mean to her for reasons I don't feel like typing out. So I know what these issues stem from. And she wouldn't see a psychologist even when I offered to pay for it.

 

Thanks for the insight.

[Downtown]

Thank u guys, and it would be very useful to discuss these things if you don't mind.

Mano, I strongly encourage you to delete the email address as soon as possible. That is way too much information for a public forum. When you have more posts here, you'll be able to send and receive private messages -- with me and other members -- on this website.

Edited July 26, 2015 by Downtown

[Downtown]

Her parents have been pushing me to be with her yet they walk on eggshells around her.

That is common behavior around a loved one having strong BPD traits. This is why the #1 best selling BPD book (targeted to those abused loved ones) is called Stop Walking on Eggshells. Another good book (the #2 best seller) is called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me!

 

When she goes to these personality changes they are very very delicate so it sounds like there is something deeper going on.

A common complaint heard from the abused partners of BPDers -- due to the rapid flips between Jekyll and Hyde -- is that they feel like they're living with someone who is half way to having a "multiple personality disorder." Actually, that disorder is now called "Dissociative Identity Disorder," reflecting the current view that DID sufferers don't really have "multiple personalities."

 

Instead, the current view is that they have a single personalty but reveal different fragments of it because, during early childhood, they did not have an opportunity to integrate those disparate features of the personality. I mention this only to make the point that, if your Ex has strong BPD traits, her personality is not really changing. Rather, you are simply seeing different aspects of the very same personality which is fragmented, not integrated. If this is true for her, she lacks a stable, strong sense of who she is.

 

I believe they happen in Greece because here she needs me just like she needs her parents, her mother and stepfather. so she does not stay mad for too long but just like last summer when she's there she de values me.

Perhaps so. Yet, if this is true, you are describing -- in this example -- a red flag for narcissism, not BPD. That is, a person having strong narcissistic traits will use you while you're around and dump you when you're not. In contrast, a BPDer exhibiting that behavior likely is not doing it because you are no longer of any use. Rather, a BPDer typically becomes distant and colder after moving away due to her inability to perceive "object constancy."

 

When we are babies, we start learning object constancy when we realize Mother does not vanish when moving away from the crib where we can hear her but not see her. We then learn that she doesn't disappear when leaving the room, at which time we cannot hear or see her. As we mature, we eventually learn that a person's personality remains essentially constant from week to week and month to month.

 

BPDers, however, never had an opportunity to learn that. Hence, even if they are persuaded that you dearly love them today, they will still live in fear that you will stop loving them when you're around other women -- or are living a thousand miles away for two months. Moreover, they have no reason to suspect your deep love is stable and lasting because, being emotionally unstable, they cannot even trust THEMSELVES to be constant from week to week.

 

I fell in love with her or she manipulated me into falling in love with her.

If you fell in love with a woman having strong traits of narcissism (NPD) or Antisocial Personality Disorder (i.e., sociopathy), you almost certainly were manipulated. Yet, if you fell in love with a BPDer (i.e., person having strong BPD traits), she likely was just as infatuated as you were.

 

My father had her pegged from the beginning before I even said hello to her he told me not to go near her.

Smart man. Listen to your father. Edited July 27, 2015 by Downtown

[Downtown]

I sent you an email you can reply to, Mano. But, to the extent you are comfortable posting here on the forum, you should do so. You will get diverse opinions from members having a wide set of experiences -- not just my experiences. Moreover, by sharing your own experiences, you likely will be helping numerous other members and lurkers. Your thread has already attracted nearly 300 views in just the past seven hours. Yet, if you feel some information is too personal to share, you are welcome to email me directly.

[bubbaganoosh]

I'm just trying to get over seeing those pictures. they broke my heart to see her in someone else's arms. and this new guy or maybe he was an old guy I never knew about just got cheated on himself and he's posting pictures and tagging her so my friends can see them and so everyone else can but she was mine a week ago she was supposedly in love with me.

 

Friend I have to tell you and you might not like what I say but she did you a huge favor.

 

She's got a ton of problems and these are the kind that you can't help her with. She needs professional help.

 

Just be glad you didn't marry her because if you did, all these problems you have with her will be like a tip toe through the tulips. You'll heal and move on but you have to get rid of everything that reminds you of her and the biggest thing is no contact at all. All that does is reopen the wound.

[aloneinaz]

I sent you an email you can reply to, Mano. But, to the extent you are comfortable posting here on the forum, you should do so. You will get diverse opinions from members having a wide set of experiences -- not just my experiences. Moreover, by sharing your own experiences, you likely will be helping numerous other members and lurkers. Your thread has already attracted nearly 300 views in just the past seven hours. Yet, if you feel some information is too personal to share, you are welcome to email me directly.

 

 

Downtown,

 

 

I'm just curious as to the entire outcome of your divorce from your BPD ex-wife. How long did it take you to move out, heal and move on from her. How long ago was your divorce? Did you suffer any PTSD symptoms from those years of chaos with her?

 

 

I'll tell ya, like you, I was shell shocked when my ex ended us (because I couldn't at the time). I spent a lot of time the first few weeks trying to understand what the heck her issues where. I then learned about BPD and read some of the sites you listed on other threads. After reading them, the pieces started to fall into place in my understanding of what I was dealing with. This ex hits most all the signs except the suicide and addiction aspect.

 

 

It's been 2.5 years since we ended (though she did come back after me, 6 months after we ended and I vanished). She was told no. I'm about 95% recovered from the trauma and emotional hell I went thru w/her. As many sites state, when a BPD woman is in the infatuation stage with a guy, wow.. can they be addictive.. Thankfully, my GF after her is 100% normal and one of the most mentally healthy people I've ever met. It was a major adjustment to date her and took me a LLOONNGGG time to feel like I didn't have to walk around on egg shells with a woman due my time with the BPD woman..

 

 

OP.. Learn from our mistakes and run the other direction. I've never read much success in these people changing. I got an email from this ex a few months ago letting me know she's met a new guy and is very happy and again apologized for the hell she put me through. All I could think of is "I really hope she CAN change, or that poor bastard is in for a treat when the idealization phase ends"!!

 

 

Do you hear speak to her today?

[Downtown]

Downtown, I'm just curious as to the entire outcome of your divorce from your BPD ex-wife. How long did it take you to move out, heal and move on from her. How long ago was your divorce? Did you suffer any PTSD symptoms from those years of chaos with her?

Hello again, Arizona! Following my divorce (after a 15 year marriage), I had no desire whatsoever to date for two years. Then, when I did start dating again, I found it somewhat difficult to adjust to being around a normal woman. I missed the adulation, passion, out-of-the-gate fireworks, and childlike warmth of expression. As odd as it sounds, it takes time to adjust to the normal responses of a mature woman after living with one having the emotional development of a four year old.

 

The real shock and disbelief, however, occurred 18 months prior to the D. As you may recall from my story, my exW had me thrown into jail for 3 days on a bogus charge. During that time, she obtained a R/O barring me from returning to my own home for 18 months -- the time it takes to get a divorce in this State.

 

Surprisingly, even after I got out of jail I was not yet ready to walk away. For excessive caregivers like me, giving up on a sick loved one is anathema. Moreover, I was absolutely certain that she was incapable of actually testifying against me -- in front of our adult children -- at the trial. But six months later she did exactly that. So the next day I retained a divorce lawyer and got on with it.

[Chi townD]

I agree with Downtown. This is your safe place. You can say whatever you want here. Trust me, we've heard it all before. And because of that, you'll find some other people's advice invaluable. Because we've been in your shoes. Our job is to garner support and help you with your healing process. We want to see you succeed. But, you have to meet us half way here and apply what your learning to your everyday life. We'll guide you away from making stupid mistakes and get you healed up with your dignity and ego intact.

[mano1982]

Thank you for all the advice, I'm trying to figure out if its narcissism or BPD. I believe that identifying it is helping me move forward. I'm starting to think it is narcissism considering the out of the blue rage when I hung up on her. She is infatuated with her body when she goes there in the summer and even more obsessed with her hair. I figured most girls were like that so I never paid much attention.

 

Interesting info, her mom asked me last summer when her daughter snapped with no emotion whatsoever, whether her seeing me around my family for those few days ticked her off, because they were giving me attention.? I didn't think much of it because they have her attention too, they liked her until she started putting me down to them behind my back after 4 days. Little things I guess, like not getting up early enough to do what she wanted. Regardless if I was jet lagged, the fact that I was on vacation as well etc., that didn't matter in her eyes.

 

The rage this time came from her perceived lack of attention, she thought by not sending her goodnight messages, even though I spoke to her every night till she fell asleep. She wanted messages from me that I was home and thinking about her before I would go to sleep myself.

 

So when I had found out she had changed her return flight without telling me and we had vacation planned, I hung up on her and ignored her for a day. Not that she tried relentlessly to reach out, she may have called once or twice. So when she sent me the picture of the new guy, she said it was an accident , she knew it would hurt me, she knew I was asking who he was and why he was around her so much. She told me she loves it when I get jealous because it shows her that I care. What the hell?

 

So after she sent me the pic of him, basically letting me know she's hanging out with him, she kept telling me she didn't mean to send it and he's just a new good friend and a nice guy. He then posted pictures of them and tagged her, and they were very intimate, all over each other, but she would never have allowed something like that unless she wanted to hurt me.

 

Now, her exact words were, how dare you hang up and ignore me, you thought I would chase you and your plan backfired, how do you like it now. I kept telling her no, I was simply hurt and angry when I heard about the flight change and I shut down for a day. We had baca planned, she left early this summer to come back August 1. Of course of I'm going to get upset because she's known about it and hasn't said anything, I'm sitting there talking about vacation and where we are going to go, and she's just playing along.

 

She always had a big issue with me hanging up when I would get upset. I would do it to cool down, she would get extremely angry and try to get back at me. I don't get it. This new guy is feeding her ego and telling everything she wants to hear, . She's devaluing me to everyone and he's right there to slip in and manipulate her or validate anything she says to get in her pants. Apparently this kid got cheated on very recently so Im surprised if he's such a nice guy that he would be posting these pics of them knowing she had a long time bf the other day and how strange it going to make her look.

 

he doesn't realize he did me a huge favor and he's really setting himself for disaster. Regardless, seeing those pics of them intimate broke my heart, especially considering it was the day after I hung up on her to cool off. She had just been telling me how much she loved me. I'm at a loss and with the stress, my head is not in the right place. She knows it's going to screw me up, she did it on purpose but I don't understand where this hate and rage came from and when she will snap out of it and even somewhat realize what she did. I don't think she will but I do know one thing and I would think she's aware of this too, now that I have seen the pics of them being intimate, I will never speak to her again. She comes back in one month, I'm going on as many dates as I can to get this girl out of my head. I guess I'm not looking for much other than a little companionship and someone to talk to.

________________________________________

[Chi townD]

Okay...sooooo. Her reasoning for cheating on you is because you hung up on her rather than engage in an argument with her?!?!?!

 

 

Dude, that's 7 levels of bat sh*t crazy right there!

 

 

Dude, go straight onto NC on her. Do not engage with her, NOTHING! If she texts you, ignore it. If she calls, let it go to voicemail. Don't answer.

 

 

Are you going to get those anytime soon? Probably not. You'll probably get the texts and phonecalls closer to the time she's supposed to return. So, be ready to ignore them.

 

 

I'm still serious though, if you were supposed to go on vacation, GO! Get out of there! Decompress and re-energize yourself. Do something fun for YOURSELF! Oh, and date only when you're ready. Don't date someone out of revenge. That's not fair to you or the girl you would date. ANd if you haven't done it already BLOCK her from your social media.

Edited July 27, 2015 by Chi townD

[mano1982]

Lol that was good. Ya her reasoning never made much sense. Kind of twisted . I'll never forget that rage I saw in her though the following day when I contacted her...she convinced herself I was playing some kind of game to make her chase me....no matter what I said she was convinced....I'm like ...no...don't u get it...I was hurt and angry.....her response, well how do you like it now...it's whatever , I know I'm done with her...already blocked etc., I'm sure she could reach me if she really wanted to but she has her new source of supply so she's all set for now. I'm not even angry at him anymore, as much as I wanted to hang him by his nuts from an olive tree. I'm beginning to understand he did me a favor and if he didn't play with her head, I wouldn't have seen this side of her again till some point down the road. Better now than later I guess

[aloneinaz]

You simply can't rationalize with a crazy person nor can you make sense of their actions. Read Downtowns posts and threads. Trust me, I tried to understand my crazy ex and finally figured out her issue was BPD. I felt a ton of relief and realized it was HER not me that was f-up!

 

 

You need to VANISH from her life, never to be heard from again. YES.. it will be hard but think about your long term mental heath and happiness. Block her and anyone who she knows on FB. Even better, take a break from FB for a few months until you're down the road to healing.

 

 

If you can change your phone number, do it. You don't need to see her texts or calls so she can incite more drama and pain in your life. The biggest thing is you to heal from it. The quicker you can do all the above, the sooner you'll feel better.

[mano1982]

thank you, i dont see her reaching out, but you never know. hard to think just two weeks ago she was calling me every day. after seeing the photos, its as if shes a stranger now. last night i had a little breakdown and this morning was hard again but im better now. i keep reliving the moment i knew she was being intimate with someone else. its a reality check but i wish i could block it out so it stops hurting