lowest point

[hellogoodbye2424]

Well... here I am about 6 weeks out from the break up after dating for 1.5 years. Towards the end she had started talking to a guy she works with, more than I thought was normal, and after voicing my concerns she basically said he was goofy and would never be interested in him, etc. etc.

 

Well I saw some really bad pictures through facebook feeds of her and him and I basically called her out on it and she was like "we broke up... and we're just friends so..." (this was about 3-4 weeks after we broke up). I left it alone although there has been limited contact between her and I since then, some initiated by her and some initiated by me. Only about a week ago she came over and cried / hugged me.

 

Fast forward to today... Well I know he lives at the same building as me and walking home from the bars I saw her car here at 1 am so I decided to text her and just be like... we don't need to talk again, and I know that you're a liar.

 

 

Here's the part that really is ****ed up.... She basicallly told me i had no right and that was nonsense, then the next message she sends is the guy she works with above taking her phone and telling me that 1. he's dating my ex now, 2. i'm a little bitch and 3. need to let go / move on amongst some other expletives.

 

I think this is one of the worst post breakup experiences I've ever had... Yes I've been cheated on and that sucks, but this almost feels worse... I feel very deceived and it's so messed up that the person I cared about didn't even have the courage to tell me herself. Well, this should make it easier to move on.

[Learningtowalkagain]

She has issues and she's a liar. You're better off without her. Delete every bit of info you have regarding her and the dude she's with. Don't engage with him. If you see him in your building or on the street just look/walk the other way. Nothing good can come with conflict, don't let your ego tell you otherwise.

 

Girls always have a DOD (dongs on deck) in case it doesn't work out with a guy they're with. She lied to you, he was hers. She's not right in the head if she played with your emotions like that. You deserve better.

[Ariess10]

I'm sorry your going through this, but she is right you are broken up and what she does now is non of your business .. Now look at it this way , do you really wanna like someone like that? Just goes to show you what a person she really is.. I mean who hooks up with a guy that lives in the same building as her ex? That's just wrong, let that guy have her and she'll do what she did to you to him.. Breakups suck

[hellogoodbye2424]

Yeah, thanks. I agree breakups really suck and more than anything I'm just kind of shocked that all this happened... Not that they are dating but just the way I found out and everything...

[Carla B]

Well... here I am about 6 weeks out from the break up after dating for 1.5 years. Towards the end she had started talking to a guy she works with, more than I thought was normal, and after voicing my concerns she basically said he was goofy and would never be interested in him, etc. etc.

 

Well I saw some really bad pictures through facebook feeds of her and him and I basically called her out on it and she was like "we broke up... and we're just friends so..." (this was about 3-4 weeks after we broke up). I left it alone although there has been limited contact between her and I since then, some initiated by her and some initiated by me. Only about a week ago she came over and cried / hugged me.

 

Fast forward to today... Well I know he lives at the same building as me and walking home from the bars I saw her car here at 1 am so I decided to text her and just be like... we don't need to talk again, and I know that you're a liar.

 

 

Here's the part that really is ****ed up.... She basicallly told me i had no right and that was nonsense, then the next message she sends is the guy she works with above taking her phone and telling me that 1. he's dating my ex now, 2. i'm a little bitch and 3. need to let go / move on amongst some other expletives.

 

I think this is one of the worst post breakup experiences I've ever had... Yes I've been cheated on and that sucks, but this almost feels worse... I feel very deceived and it's so messed up that the person I cared about didn't even have the courage to tell me herself. Well, this should make it easier to move on.

Wow thats really messed up. This is why I dont trust people in general. You are better off without her. Dont talk to her or the other guy. Let him get the little ego boost for now as he will be the one to get back stabbed in the end. It always happen that way.

[OldSoul86]

I would consider unsubscribing or even blocking anyone that is a mutual friend of your ex and yourself. You should see my block list right now - people I don't even really know are blocked. I don't want to see anything related to my ex on Facebook, period. Sometimes drastic steps are needed so that you can begin to heal.

[wizer]

You were broken up for 1.5 months. You were walking home and saw his car and rightfully assumed he was over her place. The right way to handle this was to say to yourself "ok, she's moved on, good luck to her". But instead you send a bitter, angry text accusing her of lying. To what end? No surprise you got the response you did. You came across as a jealous, jilted, angry dumped ex with no self control.

 

I'm not seeing this breakup as anything worse than what typically happens. Girl dumps guy goes out with new guy. So what if she was with him longer than she admitted to you. It's none of your business, you have no right to take cheap shots at her just because she chose someone else over you.

[hellogoodbye2424]

Thanks Carla and OldSoul. Yeah I've blocked her and her friends and deleted everything related to her, pictures, etc.. and honestly an event like that kind of ruined my thought of our relationship... Really makes me regret ever dating this girl.

 

And chances are yes, those two will not work out and it will be crash and burn just as quickly as it started... but maybe they will work out.. I don't care either way, just wish I had been treated with more respect.

[hellogoodbye2424]

You were broken up for 1.5 months. You were walking home and saw his car and rightfully assumed he was over her place. The right way to handle this was to say to yourself "ok, she's moved on, good luck to her". But instead you send a bitter, angry text accusing her of lying. To what end? No surprise you got the response you did. You came across as a jealous, jilted, angry dumped ex with no self control.

 

I'm not seeing this breakup as anything worse than what typically happens. Girl dumps guy goes out with new guy. So what if she was with him longer than she admitted to you. It's none of your business, you have no right to take cheap shots at her just because she chose someone else over you.

 

Hey man, you make some valid points and it is none of my business - I probably shouldn't have texted her and even if I did come across as jealous or as a "bitch" or whatever - I got the validation I wanted. Was it the right or wrong way? Should I have let it go? Perhaps - but I cared deeply and knowing that she ran into a relationship with someone she's been lying about right after we got out of a serious one does make it easier to move on. There's no more wondering. And for what it's worth, I broke up with her, and really thought she cared more, but she didn't... so that's that.

[OldSoul86]

Thanks Carla and OldSoul. Yeah I've blocked her and her friends and deleted everything related to her, pictures, etc.. and honestly an event like that kind of ruined my thought of our relationship... Really makes me regret ever dating this girl.

 

And chances are yes, those two will not work out and it will be crash and burn just as quickly as it started... but maybe they will work out.. I don't care either way, just wish I had been treated with more respect.

 

You can't control others hellogoodbye2424. The only person you can control is yourself. In times like this, you need to respect yourself and love yourself.

 

Take it from me, trying to dump someone with respect doesn't make the situation better. I dumped my ex as kindly as I possibly could have (our relationship ended because I want a family and she doesn't) but it still didn't help. I think it made it worse, I still got the nasty post breakup emails even though I tried my best to dump her with respect.

[Satu]

If ever there was a person who was ready for no contact, you are he.

 

Care about yourself by not not caring about them.

 

You deserve better.

 

Make sure you get it.

[Rainmkr555]

What a bitch this girl is!!!

 

I'm really sorry man. That's horrible.

 

I would have been ENRAGED if this exact same thing had happened to me.

[hellogoodbye2424]

Thanks rainmkr555 and yes she really is a bitch. I was pretty upset in the moment of it all but now I am focusing on feeling nothing towards her.

[JollyDays]

Man, erase that bitch from your memory ASAP. I just hate how people can be so manipulative. If you aren't sure about the relationship, SAY IT, and if you want to see other people, SAY IT. They call women catty for a reason---they can be very deceptive and ruthlessly cunning. Sorry ladies, but that's how I feel. It just makes you more disillusioned about people the older you get. I hope you find happiness one day, but it starts with you.

Edited July 4, 2015 by JollyDays
Typo error

[wizer]

What did she lie about? You broke up with her so she started dating and sleeping with a guy she was friends with before you dumped her. I don't see anything here that makes her a liar, and I don't see where she's a bitch for moving on with some other guy, do "non bitches" wait a certain amount of time before getting involved with someone new?

 

How are you validated by sending her a text almost 2 months after you broke up with her, calling her a liar? As I said, I don't see any lies here, but I do see you pestering the two of them and I get why the new boyfriend would tell you to leave them alone.

[minimariah]

What did she lie about?

 

she was emotionally cheating on the OP + she lied when asked about her dating status. she is a bitch for 1 reason, really -- instead of handling her business ON HER OWN, her new boyfriend had to do it for her... if you can't send a simple text -- i'm dating someone new, please don't contact me again & i wish you all the best -- you're immature as sh*t.

 

your boyfriend needs to tell YOUR ex to f&ck off.........? are these people in middle school? i don't understand.

 

that being said, OP -- you're also immature. i know you're in pain and i know it hurts but come on. if you feel like you're being played, you probably are -- you didn't need this "proof" of her dating another dude to know that she doesn't give a sh*t about you anymore. next time, trust your intuition and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

 

Take it from me, trying to dump someone with respect doesn't make the situation better.

 

it does, absolutely. your dumped girlfriend will remember you in the future & she'll thank you for giving her the respect in the end -- trust me.

 

Well, this should make it easier to move on.

 

go NC. for the next time - if you FEEL that your significant other doesn't care about you? you're probably right. if your girlfriend chats with other dudes and makes 0 effort to get you back after being dumped? she doesn't care. this text was unnecessary simply because you already knew what it was, that's why you kept asking her over and over in some kind of hope that you might be wrong.

 

some people can start NC right away, turn on their heel and walk away without a second thought, some can't. if you needed this text for moving on and as some form of closure -- great. sometimes you need to "touch the bottom" and totally fall apart in order to glue yourself back together again. good luck.

[hellogoodbye2424]

Well listen before this happened, she was blowing smoke at me ... She contacted me a few times and I contacted her a few times but what she told me when we talked was that she still cared and me breaking up with her was NOT what she wanted. She also told me that this new guy had a girlfriend (this was literally like 2-3 weeks ago) - so that may or may not have been a lie too.. i mean just a few days before this incident she was messaging me to tell me about a concert that would be fun to go to (bands we listened to).... And maybe I do have something wrong with me for trusting What she was telling me and being in denial that she didn't care...

 

One point worth mentioning that I forgot to include in this story is that this guy also accused me of physically assaulting my ex in the text message... so I guess she's telling people that I have "physically assaulted" her and that couldn't be farther from the truth. Is this BPD or NPD behavior? Because when I started dating her she painted all of her exs black in the same way (as abusive and bipolar dudes). There was one physical altercation throughout our relationship and it was around 8 months ago - she hit me in the face when she was drunk and angry one night. I guarantee you that she hasn't told the guy about this... or that she used to work with me and got fired and that's how she ended up where she is now... oh well.

 

for me it's easier to know rather than trust my intuition that she does not care about me at all... There's no denial anymore. And yeah that message was very high school level... The guy even sent me his apartment number... Like asking for a fight or something. I'm full blown NC now and will remain so

Edited July 6, 2015 by hellogoodbye2424
corrections and adding some facts

[JollyDays]

Block her on EVERY social media platform. No Facebook, Google Plus, etc. That **** is for the birds and is psychological poison for people struggling to move on from their exes. I rue the day Facebook ever came into existence.