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I understand that NC can be scary. I think learning the benefits of NC can be helpful. You should probably check out the pinned post about guide to NC on this forum. I think it's well written.

 

After learning about the benefits of NC, repeating those benefits to yourself can be really helpful especially when things get rough. This gives you the motivation that "I am doing this because I want to heal and I want to be happy."

 

People here can tell you all the cons of breaking NC and how breaking it can set you back. Good luck!

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pidgeon1010

why are you scared? you can't lose someone who has already left. He already made a decision that he can and wants to live without you. Sticking around is not going to make him change his mind any faster, if at all.

 

I have an ex who would probably maintain contact for eternity if I were agreeable. My ex and I kept in touch daily (long email discussions about topics we used to discuss in person). Everyday for a month. Consistently. One day, when it was my turn to respond, something just clicked in me - I realized that was not good enough for me and I was just wasting my time. I am almost a month NC and I do miss him but I feel much better about myself. I am not going to lie that I don't think about him contacting me and declaring his undying love and telling me how much of a big mistake he made, but NC is journey and I am looking forward to the day when indifference sets in. Life is too short to wait to be picked by a man. YOU CAN DO IT. SET YOURSELF FREE. HE ALREADY LET YOU GO.

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NC is actually the least painful option if you really list them out. You miss the person obviously but you don't get the reminder everyday via text or social media that they aren't yours anymore. You remain sane (if you are following NC proper) because you will have no idea what they are doing and who they are doing it with.

 

You get to focus on yourself and leave the past behind.

 

You should be scared of NOT going NC because that is a road filled with heartbreak and being friend zoned.

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NC is the best gift you can give yourself. Regardless of the relationship and how it ended - going NC works. One of the beautiful things about NC is that if you do it the right way you won't care to reach out afterwards because hopefully you've been working on yourself, realized that the relationship wasn't right/fulfilling/good enough, and then you won't need to seek that validation from your ex.

 

Take it from someone who has struggled with NC in the past - it is hard, it is going to bring you down to your knees, but I promise it gets easier if you commit to it. NC isn't to get your ex to miss you or to get them to reach out to you and want you back - it is to get YOURSELF back, it is to give yourself some semblance of power through silence.

 

Out of sight out of mind, and ignorance is bliss.

 

Best of luck,

OS

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Emily Broke Up

My ex broke up with me two months ago, I knew I needed to stop talking to him from day one and just wish I had, it's been a very painful journey as I kept coming back to him, hoping he would change his mind, terrified he would forget about me. Trust me, NC is the best (and only) thing you can do. Go one day at a time and do things you love to do... you'll be happy again someday soon!

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I was in a 3 year relationship that ended 3 months ago , I have been nc for 3 months .. Not even a peep or anything , it's hard to imagine spending that much time with someone then all of a sudden you don't know anything about them anymore .. It's like we are strangers now , the funny thing is time goes by really fast , day 1 of the break up I couldn't imagine being 3 months into it , but it's gotten some what easier . Out of sight out of mind really gives you the space and time you need to heal .. I'm at the point now where I hope she is happy with the choices she made , I hope what she gave up (me) was worth it and she's happy.. Now if you asked me that 3 months agin lol it would be a whole different story ..

 

 

The point is , ya it's gonna be hard really hard to go nc , but it's now about you and healing , it's about getting your head out of their asses and see things from a different point .. Breakups are the worst , there is no pill or words to help us with the pain, only distance and time will do that . People breakup for all sorts of reasons, but the thing is there is a reason why .. It's not the end of the world , even tho you probably feel like it is right now , but I promise you things will get better if you go complete nc

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Learningtowalkagain

I truly believe this, you can't love someone properly without loving yourself and feeling comfortable with yourself first. NC lets you accomplish all of these things on your own terms. Like one of the posters above said, it's over, you're just prolonging the agony by not going NC. Like anything you do in life (just start out at the gym, new job, learning a new skill etc.) the first few weeks are the hardest, then you find your center again. Good luck.

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OP- this site is littered with stories of people who don't go NC. Read them and see the horrific results they are achieving by having ANY contact with the ex.

 

 

If you were dumped, NC can also help you regain your pride in yourself. Why? They made the decision to end the relationship. You now have the power to chose to ever speak with them again. Some dumpers never have any desire to speak to the person they dumped. Others do.

 

 

Also, recognize that vanishing from a dumpers life immediately knocks the chip of the dumpers shoulder. They expect the dumped to call and beg and plead for more chances. When the dumped don't do that, it can make the dumper feel like they were not that important. It shows you have strong character and pride in yourself and you're simply moving onto someone that will appreciate what you have to offer.

 

 

The number one reason to go NC is FOR YOU to heal and move on. Out of sight, out of mind is the number one proven way to get over it.

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