My boyfriend wants break time(he said doesn't want break up) but keeps texting me.

[bluessu]

Hello.

 

I am kate(28years old) from seoul, South Korea. And my boy friend(34 years old) is from europe living in seoul(same town with me) currently. We have been together about 9-10 months now. We have opposite character (reciprocal love) but clicked each other and became close very fast. Since we are living in a same town we have been meeting almost every day and now we are pretty serious and kind of best friends. We also have been talking about the future time to time. (Now he wants to cancel all of them though.)

 

However, he has some big personal issues he needs to deal with including financial problem. And i got involved too much which he doesn't like. I payed most of the dating expenses but it was fine to me. He is a freelancer actor and during some bad season it could happen. Especially he was pretty new in korea.(His family is not poor, just he doesn't want to get help from them) Anyway his problems don't seem to be solved easily and he got depressed, had big mood swings and started pushing me away. I knew he needed space but he's a foreigner here and had depression. He said he's lost. So i just couldn't let him be alone. He has been pushing me away but at the same time he wanted to see me. (Seriously he doesn't have much friends here). We have fought a lot for several months and got tired of arguing each other. Sometimes he appreciated me to be with him but most of the times he was full of anger and depression and negative about everything i said. And he went crazy time to time. It was really hard to stay with him. (He pretended he was okay to his family and friends and i am the only one who knows his problems)

 

Finally two days ago we could talk about our relationship. Before his head was full of his matters so he avoided talking about us. And he said he still likes, cares and has affection about me but he lost his passion about me. And he thinks i am not passionate about him as well which is not true.He said even other girls whom he meets on filming sets show interest on him, are touchy, say he's handsome/sexy and express their feelings to him. He said "But why not you, kate." I am pretty calmed person and just i am not that expressive type but that doesn't mean i am not passionate. Then he said I am so passive and he wanted me to jump over him time to time. And these days he even felt passion from other girls. Yes he lost interest about me. I guess i made him tired of me because i nagged and cried a lot which are my faults. And probably the new girls he met on shooting don't know about his real situation so they could have easy, fun, and superficial conversations which made him get away from the ****ty reality(financial problem/career).

 

He said he was so sad about our relationship and wished it could be better. He was sorry about that he was mean to me recently and felt bad that he couldn't treat me better, felt like he's using me and showed his manliness to me . (His self esteem is very high, and I think he's somewhat arrogant.) And he said when he comes back (He need to travel to some other country for a month or so) he wanted to try out this relationship again like a new couple. Until that time

he wanted us to have break-time(He defined it's not breaking up just time out) and just be friends. He said he s not interested in other girls and wished we could have better time again. But he said he needed to settle his matters first and didn't have space to think about relationship for now. I think if he doesn't love me anymore then we need to break up though.

 

So i was very confused. What does the break time mean here? And if he wants to try the relationship again why should we be friends for a while?

Interestingly after 12 hours later he started texting me again. (He's the one who wanted break time). He said he s sorry. Just situation is so bad. I like you but i don't like the way of our relationship. And asked me what i was doing.(I didn't answer).

After several hours he texted me again and he even asked me to join to check the new flat he s going stay when he comes back. (I didn't reply the first several messages and just said i had a backache so i d better stay home.)

I really cannot understand what is going on now. Should i ignore his messages for a while? I really wish we could have happy time again.

 

Thank you for reading.

Edited June 29, 2015 by bluessu