Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Hey guys So this is what my ex sent me last night. I know exactly what she wants, but i just have no idea how and where to go from here. valid reasons for leaving me and i do still want a future with her. Look i am sorry if i dont reply you most of the time. But bloody hell can you understand that i am busy Atleasy i let you know that i am busy It pisses me off when yoi get the way you do And you need to realise i am trying to get use to the fact that you are not around anymore And you promised me space the last time i saw you and yet you always push to come through or to see me You have already met someone and dont give me some bull**** that you deleted her I dont care Do what you need to do for you And stop basing your life around me and bettering yourself for me because that is what pissed me off the most over you Do **** for you Get in touch with yourself again Because you let that go when you met me And thats where i fell out of love with you So be selfish Focus on you as you are the most important person for yourself You need to be in this life otherwise you will always be walked on take it from someone with alot of experience in it So **** me for now Any advice would be greatly appreciated as i just feel so lost right now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 he liked you when you were driving fast and spending money and dressing sexy and acting like many men dem want you.... he spelled it out for you... Get back to your 17 yr old self ... that's what he wants, 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 So what happened with that face to face meeting you had planned recently? I take it that it don't go too well. You should probably listen to what she just said there. She is right, you need to be selfish and take care of your self and just let her be. She mentions you promised to giver her space and hadn't. That a sure fire way to push her to the absolute end. She comes off like in her eyes, you are really needy and she does not want someone like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Face to face meeting didnt go great. She spoke of how shes incredibly busy at work right now, doesnt have time for anyone or anything else and is just in a generally bad place right now. How she didnt want to give me false hope for the future. After we the talk, i helped with her shopping and we hugged and kissed before she left. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ssandeepsingh02 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Bro just give her the space..don't call her don't message.. Stay out of her life..my contacting her you are killing what little hope is there..back off give her time..let her figure it out on her own..nothing you say or do would change her mind.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 And then she'd complain that your too selfish. If she had a problem with you bettering yourself for your relationship, then perhaps she needs a selfish a hole who treats her badly. Its called a pain addiction, and I see many women in this state. They usually end up in their 40's, with a string of bad relationships behind them. She wants a selfish 'bad boy,' who ignores her, puts himself first and doesn't develop himself for his life and relationship? There are plenty to choose from. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Face to face meeting didnt go great. She spoke of how shes incredibly busy at work right now, doesnt have time for anyone or anything else and is just in a generally bad place right now. How she didnt want to give me false hope for the future. After we the talk, i helped with her shopping and we hugged and kissed before she left. When a woman says she's 'too busy,' always walk away. Everyone's busy, its a busy life. I bet she wasn't too busy when she first met you right? Don't just keep hanging out with her when she says that, letting her kiss you when she clearly is not interested in you. And if a woman says she's in a bad place right now, she will have no ability to sustain a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Thank you all for taking the time to post your thoughts. Its always reassuring getting an outside perspective. I have been focusing on myself the last month, got a better job, started gyming again and going out with my friends. Which i couldnt do because she was always sick/didnt feel like them. She is a good person, even if she did hurt me. Hoping she sees sooner than later that having someone who loved her unconditionally is a bigger deal than she thinks now 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 On a side note: im going no contact, like i should have a long time ago. Theres a big music festival in town this coming weekend. Me and my friends have already bought tickets for the friday night and i know shes going as well. Forced to take a 40year old work collegue of hers. Im am just hoping and praying not to run into her. Not her alone and even less her with another guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 I followed through some of your posts buddy, but you finally nailed it. You really should have stuck with NC all the time. No biggies, a little setback but now you can finally move forward with your healing. Enjoy the festival! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I followed through some of your posts buddy, but you finally nailed it. You really should have stuck with NC all the time. No biggies, a little setback but now you can finally move forward with your healing. Enjoy the festival! Thanks yummm. Part of me is glad i atleast made my feelings clear and gave it a shot. Even if it wasnt the best course of action for the result i wanted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I followed through some of your posts buddy, but you finally nailed it. You really should have stuck with NC all the time. No biggies, a little setback but now you can finally move forward with your healing. Enjoy the festival! Thanks yummm. Part of me is glad i atleast made my feelings clear and gave it a shot. Even if it wasnt the best course of action for the result i wanted. If nothing else, i now have no desire to talk to her, much less see her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Even though i have deactivated facebook and deleted her number, my ex just sent me this: "I aplogise if my words were harsh last night" I have absolutely no intention or desire to reply. Which is a strangely nice feeling. If she does continue to message me, im just going to send this: If nothing else, atleast now i have no desire to talk to you, or see you. Not now atleast. So you'll be happy to hear that. I hope in time you realise that having someone who loved you unconditionally is a bigger deal than you think now. I hope that day comes sooner rather than later. Before its too late. Take care josma. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Please do not send that. Just stay with NC for now. I really think it is the best for you. That message you think of sending makes me cringe a bit. It is not necessary. Just ignore her texts and she'll get the point. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 Don't be the one who wants the last word. It comes over as childish. Just get on with your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Small update guys. 4days NC and with the big festival coming up, i sent my ex a text telling her when and where im gonna be and that she should avoid that area if she doesnt want us to bump into each other. She replied with: Im not going anymore and no need to be like that I sent her the message because i was anxious that wed run into each other, which i really dont want. Now that i know shes not going, it feels like such a relief. Link to post Share on other sites
drade Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Small update guys. 4days NC and with the big festival coming up, i sent my ex a text telling her when and where im gonna be and that she should avoid that area if she doesnt want us to bump into each other. She replied with: Im not going anymore and no need to be like that I sent her the message because i was anxious that wed run into each other, which i really dont want. Now that i know shes not going, it feels like such a relief. In reality, you should have never sent that text. It's not necessary. You broke NC. You shouldn't have to tell her to avoid where you will be. Let her find out for herself, if she were to run into you, you could have simply waved, instead of sending a text like that. I'm sure she doesn't want to run into you right now either. But have you thought about her? She probably wanted to go to that festival, and enjoy herself. I'm not trying to badger you, I am telling you this from personal experience. Don't act self absorbed. Don't text her again, cut the cord, your making things worse for yourself and her. It's playing with ones emotions, and it's not healthy for the both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Small update guys. 4days NC and with the big festival coming up, i sent my ex a text telling her when and where im gonna be and that she should avoid that area if she doesnt want us to bump into each other. She replied with: Im not going anymore and no need to be like that I sent her the message because i was anxious that wed run into each other, which i really dont want. Now that i know shes not going, it feels like such a relief. For the love of everything Holy, DO NOT TEXT HER AGAIN!!! GO INTO NC!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 In reality, you should have never sent that text. It's not necessary. You broke NC. You shouldn't have to tell her to avoid where you will be. Let her find out for herself, if she were to run into you, you could have simply waved, instead of sending a text like that. I'm sure she doesn't want to run into you right now either. But have you thought about her? She probably wanted to go to that festival, and enjoy herself. I'm not trying to badger you, I am telling you this from personal experience. Don't act self absorbed. Don't text her again, cut the cord, your making things worse for yourself and her. It's playing with ones emotions, and it's not healthy for the both of you. Dont know if something was misunderstood, but shes not going because of me. Its work. And she wants to see me just as little i do her. So this way we avoid the awkwardness that would have followed. Plus, i dont exactly care at the moment about her emotions, she didnt care about mine? It was most likely a mistake, but i feel a hell of a lot better after it. If its selfish to do what makes me feel better, then i am. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woon Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Hey guys. So after 4days NC, i get this surprise Are you Doing ok? Look i know i have come across as a bitch & extremely cold hearted. But i am going through a stressful time & knowing you are putting your heart on hold for me inflicts pain on me & it does frustrate me you have no idea My life is work sleep & maybe eat I havent even had the time to go and fetch my bank card altho it has been active for a month now Just so you can understand I need you to think outside of me. To put yourself first & please do not worry about me.... I am doing ok & if i do break down you will be the first to know Right now I might seem complicated to you But I am not actually, I have put my emotions aside & yes I have shut down that part of me....The part that feels because I don't want to feel....not now...I already have my family worried and asking if they can just see me But I am too busy & when I am not all I want is to sleep.... I sit and write emails till 2 am most evenings....and me being on WhatsApp so much Is not because I talk to any other man All my drivers has WhatsApp now....I got them cheap phones that can take WhatsApp & photos...so they can update me as they go or so I can send them photos of docs that they need So I have become an workaholic more than you can imagine I am ****ing busy & busy for me is brilliant right now in my life as I do not want time for myself It's better like this Easier in a hard way because **** working like this is tiring.... But I get to not focus on anything else So sorry but this is what my life is right now I am sorry I have not told you what's going on Thought I'd take a moment so you do not feel it's because of you Sorry it took me this long This is the first time in 6weeks she opened up And it really feels as if a load has been lifted from my shoulders. Also feels like im making progress. She still thinks about me and how i feel. Made sure i know shes not trying to replace me and isnt talking to another guy. Who knows. Maybe in a few weeks she'll actually want to hang out? Going to continue LC, not initiating, but being polite. Edited July 7, 2015 by Woon Link to post Share on other sites
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