I broke up with him...he broke the no contact rule. What gives?!

[Troubled Heart]

I'll try to keep this simple and as quick to the point as possible.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months about 3 weeks ago. We weren't together for that long of a time, however, the feelings were pretty strong. I broke up with him for various reasons, mainly the fact that he moved to Missouri and wasn't really trying to make the long distance thing work. I also broke up with him because I caught myself giving up too much of my identity to be with him and he wasn't at all appreciative of what I was willing to do for our relationship. Also, he didn't know what he wanted out of it. I couldn't stand to be with someone who didn't know what they wanted or even if they wanted me for that matter.

 

Anyway, 3 weeks had gone by since the breakup conversation and he called me (fueled by alcohol courage), breaking the no contact rule. We were both drunk...I don't think I could have dealt with the call if I wasn't. So we did the whole politeness song-and-dance.... Hi, how are you? I'm good, you? You sound good. It was pretty hard to hear him due to background noise so I suggested he call me the next day. I didn't hear from him at all the next day, so I decided to show a gesture of goodwill and sent him a text telling him that it was great to hear from him and that I hoped things were going well for him. I think I figured if we were ever going to try the friends thing, I should let him know that it was ok he took the first step in initiating conversation. Well, he didn't respond to the first text message. I started to get worried that something may have happened to him and I wouldn't have had anyway to know. I'm really not that neurotic, promise. So I tried sending another text message letting him know that I was concerned. I figured it was the easiest way to communicate w/ him without actually having to talk to him. That way, he could have responded w/ a text and it would have been done with the least amount of awkwardness. Still no response to the 2nd text message. So I took a huge risk and called him. He didn't answer, so I left a message that said I was concerned and wanted to make sure he was ok. I told him he could text me back w/ a response so that I wouldn't be worried anymore.

 

Finally, 2 days later, he sends me an email saying that he was sorry he didn't respond b/c he didn't know what to say. If he didn't know what to say, why did he initiate conversation in the first place? I mean, there have been so many times that I wanted to drunk dial him but refrained b/c it would open up everything again. Everything that took me so long to finally close. In his email, he talked about his new job (the reason for moving out of the state) and moving into his own apartment at the end of the month. Then, he asked me when I started my new job and how the party was when he called w/ the initial break of the "no contact" rule. I responded to his email about a day later, and it has now been a few days and no response from him. So I guess what I want to know is what does this mean? Why call an ex and not have anything to say? My guy friends, true to guy logic, say that he misses having a constant gf and was probably horny or something. I also want to know if its even possible for us to try being friends, considering that we weren't friends in the first place? I guess I'm just confused b/c he wrote the email asking questions, expecting a response and then doesn't respond to mine.

[RoxStar]

It sounds like classic drunk dialing. He have the alcohol to give him the courage. I find that the worst thing to do within a few weeks of a break up is drink... I am the worst drunk dialer and it never ends well. One of my friends thinks there should be a breathalizer on phones so we cant make a$$e$ of ourselves when drinking. Seems like when he was loaded he wanted to talk to you but in his sober mind was probably ashamed for being a drunk a$$ and didnt know how to address it. Hope that helps.

[Merin]

Never read ANYTHING into a drunk conversation or gestures..

 

It's amazing the things people will feel the need to do/say when they are intoxicated..

 

Yeah it sucks that he dialed you when he was walking on his lips so to speak.. but I wouldn't read anything into it.

 

I think by the time he got sober again, he felt like a jackass for calling.. so he tried the IF I pretend it didn't happen then it won't be real thing.. just goes to show.. he's an ex for several reasons.. the rude-ass!

 

So.. don't respond to more of his crap.. leave it alone and get on with things.. IF he happens to drunk dial you again.. let him know you're not all about it.. and hang up.